Watty's Awakening

badmemory

I have some history of this sort of issue.  Back over 30 years ago when tax between spouses was different I was self employed.  When my accountant filed my tax return from before the divorce it landed my ex with a £1k tax bill.  It ended up costing me the £1k & some aggro too.  I could not have stopped it as it was the law at the time, but I wish I could have.

Chrystal

For the sake of £820 it's not worth the hassle, different if we were talking about a lot more money.  You don't have to put yourself through anything you don't want to, so do what's right for you, and let sleeping dogs lie.

 Your health and mental well being are worth much more than £820, and the saying goes that God doesn't pay his debts with money so hopefully Ex will still have to pay up one way or another..... Karma is a wonderful thing!  (((hugs))) XX

daisy_1571

Some lovely advice here from all different angles so maybe note a few things down and revisit Feb.   Until then divert your thoughts from it if you find them straying back.

Daisy xx

Aimingforthegoodlife

Hi Watty, I am sorry for all you went through, must have been so awful. The property and pets all sound awesome, and you have some really good plans! Congrats on finding the old account and 30p, fab!

Watty1

There really is some very lovely advice here, thank you all so much for commenting. It really means a lot to me, so thank you.

One thing that struck a chord was the comment about "rich life" and I really do have a very rich life.  Maybe not financially rich but I have friends who care, the VNM, my animals, a fully paid for home and nice neighbours.  I also have enough to pay my bills this month and next and enough to eat.      I have been thinking and a rich life is not really about the money in the bank but about all of those things.   This morning I went for a ride with a lovely neighbour, then tidied up and now will go shopping so I can cook a roast dinner for one of my girlfriends who I haven't seen since before Christmas.  The VNM will join us for the roast but not the gossip and giggles over coffee and we will celebrate with a bottle of Aldi fizz.  I am lucky enough to have a rich life.  (Not sure what the podcasts are about, I will listen to them, but the concept of a rich life being so much more about the life than the money has struck a chord).

I am going to shelve the £820.  If my accountant wants to chase it, he can but actually I feel it is not worth the potential emotional and mental trauma. I don't want to even think about. Rather I will work on clearing the debt the "old way"  a combination of selling stuff, working hard and frugal living.     With this in mind I am on the board of a professional body and they should pay me £25 an hour for the work I do.  I have never been organised enough to claim and always felt as I volunteered I wouldn't claim - but I have rethought this and put in a claim for £125 for the board meetings last year and this year will record the hours I spent and charge accordingly.

Humdinger1

As ever, I'm in awe of you @Watty1; this is a profound decision which makes perfect sense. Thanks for your vote of confidence in my take on DD's situation; it means an awful lot to me.  Feeling much better after a good night's sleep and long walk in the brilliant sunshine.   Onwards and upwards love Humdinger xx 

KajiKita

I think you’ve made the right decision on the £820 and I am glad that you are valuing your contribution enough to charge as you are allowed to for your volunteering for the professional body.

KK

LadyWithAPlan

Well done on charging the money you can claim. You do sound like you have chosen your  rich life - sounds lovely.

fjireland

Watty1 said:

There really is some very lovely advice here, thank you all so much for commenting. It really means a lot to me, so thank you.

One thing that struck a chord was the comment about "rich life" and I really do have a very rich life.  Maybe not financially rich but I have friends who care, the VNM, my animals, a fully paid for home and nice neighbours.  I also have enough to pay my bills this month and next and enough to eat.      I have been thinking and a rich life is not really about the money in the bank but about all of those things.   This morning I went for a ride with a lovely neighbour, then tidied up and now will go shopping so I can cook a roast dinner for one of my girlfriends who I haven't seen since before Christmas.  The VNM will join us for the roast but not the gossip and giggles over coffee and we will celebrate with a bottle of Aldi fizz.  I am lucky enough to have a rich life.  (Not sure what the podcasts are about, I will listen to them, but the concept of a rich life being so much more about the life than the money has struck a chord).

I am going to shelve the £820.  If my accountant wants to chase it, he can but actually I feel it is not worth the potential emotional and mental trauma. I don't want to even think about. Rather I will work on clearing the debt the "old way"  a combination of selling stuff, working hard and frugal living.     With this in mind I am on the board of a professional body and they should pay me £25 an hour for the work I do.  I have never been organised enough to claim and always felt as I volunteered I wouldn't claim - but I have rethought this and put in a claim for £125 for the board meetings last year and this year will record the hours I spent and charge accordingly.

Very true! I think a truly rich life is one surrounded by people who care and you care about … it’s easy to lose focus of that these days 

and you should claim for your time , definitely do it ! Easy to be taken for granted … 

Chrystal

Glad to hear you're starting to charge for your time.  You have to start valuing yourself more.  If you give people the impression that you think you aren't worth much they will take it at face value and treat you accordingly, and you are so much more than you think you are.  

You have taken a horrible situation and turned it around, and yes, you have a wonderfully rich life, which hopefully will get richer (especially as you are now getting money for your time)   ((hugs)) X