Watty's Awakening

LadyWithAPlan

Loving the fact you only have 3 knives, forks and spoons
Maybe you should play with going extreme minimalism ...it sounds like it is doing you good.


My big break up - I took all the jewellery off  as in a ritual  from the 8 year period - even what I had bought myself... and never wore it again.. I should sell some of it tbh...

VNM  sounds great !

savingholmes

ajmoney said:

I left my marriage and moved into my own place 5 years ago this month. I am still decluttering and reclaiming my mind but still find it hard to do things because I want to without getting approval.

I use a counsellor as a sounding board - and you lot - as I'm not so much looking for approval as wanting to discuss the options with someone.

Watty1

savingholmes said:

I was euphoric when I decided to divorce too. I've spent over 2 years decluttering and getting rid of reminders and my Ex was nothing like yours - and yet I still saw some of the things as toxic clutter.

I'm glad you are reclaiming your space and finding your happy. Really thrilled to that VNM is doing practical things to help you.

I know I forget how toxic my ex was.  One of the many reasons I value you all on here is that your comments serve to remind me.  In real life people never mention him other and I don't either but at home, alone, as I potter around the house I find myself thinking of him and I see how easily my mind can re-write the story and forgive and forget this behaviour.   As I go through this stage of sorting the house out I find that I flip between regret and sorrow and missing him to just wanting to wipe out the memories and start over.

@KajiKita that comment about being in the kitchen and finding freedom really struck a chord.  So many of us have these stories hidden in our past.  

Watty1

LadyWithAPlan said:

Loving the fact you only have 3 knives, forks and spoons
Maybe you should play with going extreme minimalism ...it sounds like it is doing you good.


My big break up - I took all the jewellery off  as in a ritual  from the 8 year period - even what I had bought myself... and never wore it again.. I should sell some of it tbh...

VNM  sounds great !

The VNM is a star. Helpful, non intrusive and offers his time when he has it to help without, it would seem, no thought of what he can get out of a situation.  I am very careful not to mar the relationship with thoughts of my ex.  The VNM knows the situation and is calm and supportive and leaves me to recover in what seems to me to be just the right mix.

As for the extreme minimalism: I'd love it I'm just not sure I could cope.  The drawer with so little in is a joy (I do have a bag of inherited vintage silver plate cutlery in a cupboard so if I have more than 3 people here then there is something I can use although I might need to clean it first).

I am so tired of "looking for things" in amongst all the "stuff" and not finding it but instead being waylaid by memories that extreme minimalism sounds lovely.  The hard part is the letting go of things that seem useful or useable. 

Watty1

savingholmes said:

ajmoney said:

I left my marriage and moved into my own place 5 years ago this month. I am still decluttering and reclaiming my mind but still find it hard to do things because I want to without getting approval.

I use a counsellor as a sounding board - and you lot - as I'm not so much looking for approval as wanting to discuss the options with someone.

This is a lovely reframe.   Not looking for approval but rather wanting to discuss the options.  This board is so wonderful for that and so very helpful.

PennysIntoPounds

Your cutlery reminds me of a quote from Walden I Iove;

I had three chairs in my house; one for solitude, two for friendship, three for society.

Sounds like you'll have everything you need 😊

KajiKita

I remember my ex asking me after I left him, what I missed about him …. and being hugely upset / offended when I couldn’t think of anything other than training in Tai Chi with him! 😂😂😂😂😂

KK

Watty1

KajiKita said:

I remember my ex asking me after I left him, what I missed about him …. and being hugely upset / offended when I couldn’t think of anything other than training in Tai Chi with him! 😂😂😂😂😂

KK

That is funny.

For me it is taking time but the more time that passes the less I miss. And I remind myself what  I had was an illusion anyway.

Watty1

The chaos continues here.

The decorator finishes the stairway today apparently and is going to start on downstairs so this morning I moved all the clutter into the middle of the room with the furniture.  Cannot find a tape measure so no blinds have been ordered yet.   I have 3 and all 3 have vanished, again proving too much stuff and things get lost.  I might have to message my neighbour and see if she has one if  I can't find one today.

I'm loving my new space. I was planning on just buying new white bedding but yesterday saw a very full on colourway set of bedding but sadly it is old stock and no longer available so thinking of popping back to the store this evening to see if they will sell me the display one (if it is the right size).  If not I will stick with the original plan of just staying calm with white everything in the bedroom apart from the dark blue light switches which have arrived and are just fabulous.  I love them.   

Sunny here so at last I can do some washing and get things dried.  Haven't been able to do that as the only drying space is in the spare room where the decorator and builder have stored everything.

greenbee

It's disruptive isn't it? I have a break (I think!) until late May when the electricians will be back. Then plumbers after them, and decorating in August. Oh, and external decorating in June. 

Having said that, if I can find a builder to do some small bits I'll take them whenever they can fit me in! I also have a gardener/handyman for a full day 3 Fridays a month, and next door are having a HUGE tree on the boundary taken down in early May.

And you've just reminded me that I need to order blinds! Having just cleaned the coffee machine and kettle, and with someone turning up shortly to do a solar survey, that's another great displacement activity as I have a tricky bit of work to get done today.