From Frugal Foundations to Fortified Family Future

Greying_Pilgrim

Good Morning MFW'rs

Cold-ish start with us.  A light (very light, don't get excited type light) covering of powdery snow with us.  A stiff, cold breeze (as forecast) too, so the washing machine is whirring with workwear.  

Yesterday's wash did OK out on the line, but we changed plans and ended up going to the cinema in the afternoon with chums, which wasn't originally in the equation, but we pivoted and went.  I returned to the house to sort out getting tickets and brought the washing in, as I knew we wouldn't be exiting the cinema before it started to get dark, and the temperature would have fallen - undoing any drying that had occurred.  As it happens, whilst it 'lost' a couple of hours outdoor drying time, it probably was the right decision, as the temperature had already started to drop.  The 'heavy' stuff got 2 hrs in front of the dehu, and then I alternated airers over the course of the evening.  In total I had the dehu on for approx. 6 hrs again, but I have been able to fold up everything and put it away this morning.  The line dry had achieved more than I thought it would - but there was still quite alot of water to empty out the dehu.  

LG spent a lovely few hours with their chum, and we got to see one of the 'latest release' kiddos movies, so several ticks in boxes achieved there.  

LG had tea around their chum's house when we got back from the cinema, so I took the opportunity of cooking the YS'd haddock filets for DH and I, with oven chips and mushy peas.  The haddock was OK.  I liked that it was a firmer fish - occasionally, when you're having cod fish fingers, or cod filets, the fish is mushed and formed, and this wasn't like that.  It was a bit more 'fishy' tasting (not in a bad way), than we're used to.  DH has never been a big eater of fish, so I didn't say anything, and he did eat it all up, but I don't think it needs to work it's way onto our full time meal rotation.  But for 75p per filet, it was a bargain meal.  I hate to think how much the equivalent meal would have cost from a chippy.  The chips were average, because I managed to pick up the crinkle cut, rather than the straight cut in MrS 🙄 I wondered why they didn't trigger the n*ctar price thing 🙄 stoopid me, and grr to MrS putting stuff in very, very similar packaging...... jus saying....... 🙄

I didn't achieve so many of the chores I'd set myself yesterday, as we ended up spending pretty much all the day with our chums/in the cinema, but life happens like that sometimes, and I wouldn't have it any other way, as LG loves spending time with this chum and the family are hard-working, kind and very much on our wavelength.  We did however, get all the thank you cards posted, so they are on their way out to the lovely folk who remembered LG at Christmas time.  I have still got to have a rootle through the garage freezer, to make sure we're using our stocks in an appropriate manner.  I was pleased to have used the haddock yesterday - it's not that it wouldn't keep, but whilst it could easily have fed 3, I suspect LG wouldn't have liked it that much, and it would have possibly presented a waste situation - whereas it was eaten up and enjoyed for what it was - good food and a bargain.

I saw that dearest greent posted a info graphic on Watty's thread, pertaining to the 'differences' between 2025 year of the snake, and 2026 year of the horse.  I like to keep one eye on this sort of thing, as I do feel that there is 'something' in it - even if it is that manifestations come about simply because you are giving it thought/focus.  But I thought it was interesting that 2025 had sort of 'drawing your line in the sand' and 2026 will be about moving forward with lightness.  There was a situation last year where I finally got the courage to 'draw my line in the sand', and whilst it's not been a straight line move away from the crappy situation, we've done more of a bit of a ox-bow-esque river route..... 🙄 we're gathering pace on the 'straight line away' now, and (hopefully) leaving unpleasantness behind.  I'm hopeful that LG is learning that you don't have to like everyone, you don't have to be friends with everyone and yes, manners and politeness are important (to us), but that doesn't give anyone the right to treat you like dirt, and carry on living their life in their bubble.  Perhaps because I articulate about things on here regularly, it doesn't seem as if i (or Fam. Greying ) are living life "our way", but we are less and less influenced by 'what others think', than may be immediately obvious, and we are living a 'different' life, more contentedly than may also be first apparent.  I will admit to you on here that I'm struggling with 'what another parent may think about X', but in RL, I'm perhaps standing my ground, or drawing my line in the sand.  And what I'm discovering is - that as long as what we are doing is authentic, or honest, or right, or soundly thought out, or isn't harming anyone else - things are working, for us.  I've long cared less about what the 'herd' have thought, but you know sometimes one or two people still make it their mission to inform you where you are going wrong in life - well, they are having less and less an impact.  Where possible we are maintaining a relationship on the basis of sticking to the things that aren't contentious between us (which far, far outnumber the one thorny issue we do have), or where has been necessary, we've cut ties.  And no, the sky hasn't fallen in, as a result 😉

DH has sorted out the majority of holiday time off from work for this year.  There is a day or two unallocated, but I think there may be some activities (school-based) that he might like to participate in, but of course, school haven't provided dates, so maybe keeping them unallocated is the sensible option for now.  DH has also got on to the several firms locally that specialise in fitting towbars to vehicles, and one firm has already supplied a quote.  It is in the ball-park of what DH had mentioned anyway (but a bit more - are you surprised?), so at least we know what we have to find-ish, as I'm not expecting the other firm to 'substantially undercut' the first.  I mean, I know there are cowboys (and gals), out there, but some jobs kinda cost around about the same ballpark, don't they?

Soup is probably 99% on the agenda for lunch today - I can't think of anything else "suitable", and I'll have another think about tea - as I changed direction last night, and so I may revisit what we were going to have (lentil bolognese) or go in a different direction.  How fortunate we are to have choices.   

Ta for popping by.  Ta for reading this far.  Ta for listening.  Greying X

Greying_Pilgrim

Mmmm, we've just munched lunch.  It was soup, to 'no-recipe' so probs can't be repeated, but I took something dearest inod had mentioned the other day, and incorporated it into my soup making.  I used the PrC to boil up some potatoes, carrots and parsnips in water with half a stock cube dissolved in ( I used vegetable, but you do you boo).  The tatties were whole (not huge, but not small either), and the carrots and parsnips were left in big chunks.  After 10 mins, I took out 4 of the tatties and blitzed the remaining veg.  I then diced up the removed tatties and put them back in the soup with a bit of extra hot water.  I cooked the soup on for a few more minutes, as some of the potato chunks were still a little undercooked.  Then I added onion powder, garlic granules, some thyme, some smoked paprika, some greek seaoning, some dried parsley and a bit of mint & black pepper.  Then I took the remainder of the (plain) greek yoghurt and stirred that in.  The parsnips and carrots gave it a lovely natural sweetness, and the tatties were unctious and made the soup seem 'more' than it actually was.  It made just enough for 3 bowls, and I served with wholemeal baps, halved.  Clean plates all round and we've all warmed up again 😁OK, so it used mostly 15p/5p veg and/or food waste, but gosh, it was good, and def. money saving.  Let me tell you, inod's mam was right - cooked tatties chopped up into soup is lush! 😁 If you are a meat eater, I would have thought a bit of cooked bacon, or maybe some cooked ham/gammon running through it, would have made a super soup (forgive the pun), just the thing for warming you up after making snowmen or sledding 😁

The washing is still out on the line.  It's cold, but we do at least have sun from time to time - although it only hits the garden for a few moments at a time, as it moves around in the winter - it's too low to appear above the surrounding houses ☹️ 

DH has been sorting out paperwork and filing.  LG has been happily keeping DH company upstairs 😁

Right, other than whipping up delicious soup, I haven't been doing much MSE, so I'll shuffle orf.  Greying X

Humdinger1

Wonderful update @Greying_Pilgrim! You will be inspiring other families to move away from the 'but what will the neighbours say' mindset. Not ill-wishing the problem people, but watch them unravel.  That attitude always says to me that there are big unaddressed problems and this is the best distraction.  Love Humdinger xx 

Greying_Pilgrim

Good Morning MFW'rs

Mmm, not too sure I'm at 'influencer' stage yet Humdinger - this family lives locally, so we can't as easily escape their over-bearingness.  But we're heading in the right direction - for us.

Back to school 🙄 We've had ever such a light dusting of snow - but I think the kids are still going to have to turn up.  I think it was someone in Dumbarton (or was it Dunfermline?) that had messaged into Mark Goodyear on R2 that it was -7 with them 🥶   I cleared snow off the car this morning before DH set out to work, and it came off the car easily, but the air temperature (-3) was such that any moisture immediately refroze ☹️ So as the snow gets squashed on the pavements and roads, it's going to turn to ice - not nice 😬  Still, at least the cars windows and lights were cleared, and I brushed as much snow off the car roof and body as I could, nothing worse than following someone on the road, and clouds of snow or chunks of ice dropping off their vehicle, and onto yours.  

I managed to 'book-end' the holidays with festive 'roast dinners'.  We had toad in the hole, roast tatties, roast parsnips, mashed swede & tattie and mixed veg (MrS frozen mix - carrots, cauli, peas and green beans), and gravy, last night.  It was sooooooooooo nice to be sitting at the table and watching LG eat everything up.  The memory of them refusing to eat "good" food is still quite fresh and raw.  Their reception teacher would be proud of them though 🥰

I did do a sock wash yesterday, as the wind speed was supposed to be quite good, but they hadn't been out long before we had a smattering of snow (not in the forecast), that was big floofy flakes, and although not alot of snow fell, I got the socks back in - which turned out to be the right decision, as we had 'light snow' for around an hour.  They went in front of the dehu, and had about 4 hours in total.  Some of DH's work socks are quite thick, so they didn't fully dry, but have been on the airer overnight, so fingers crossed.

I'm hopeful to get some batch cooking done today.  I have things that need processing/using and should get on and do it.  We are running short on milk - there is a carton of UHT in the cupboard, but I don't think I want to go out to the supermarket just for milk.  But neither do I want to pay through the nose for milk from the c0op either.  I'll sort it one way or another.  We've been indulging in too many teas & coffees over the weekend.

Right, can't think of anything else MSE to add, so best go and marshall the reluctant pupil into some schoolwear and start out on the school run.  

Greying X

Greying_Pilgrim

I've braved the shuffle to the c0op, and bought milk.  As it happened, they were quite well stocked with all types of milk, and the bog-standard blue label stuff I usually buy, was long-dated (12 days on from today) and was only 5 pence more than MrS charge.  I would waste more fuel, and have to negotiate ice-rinkesque estate and side roads to get to MrS - so I happily handed over the dosh.  

*edited to add* - I have amended my siggie figgie, and whilst I think we probably have 'just' enough milk to limp into tomorrow, I'm not sure travelling conditions are going to improve drastically, so got the milk today.  Whilst the pathways I used are heavily trodden by children and adults accessing the schools and the c0op and other retail outlets, they had already become very compacted snow, which was slippy in places and in some places there was ice underneath the compacted snow ☹️  With the temps we've forecast (which are probably positively balmy compared to the Highlands of Scotland!), the snow isn't going to melt anytime soon.  

Greying X

Blackcats

GP - other than when the milk is about to run out I don't think it's possible to have too many weekend teas and coffees. 🙃

themadvix

Blackcats said:

GP - other than when the milk is about to run out I don't think it's possible to have too many weekend teas and coffees. 🙃

I’m glad someone else said this - teas and coffees are not to be rationed (unless you’re in The Good Life) - they are vital to functioning!

Greying_Pilgrim

Good Morning MFW'rs

Another coolish start with us in Greying Town - perhaps not as cold as yesterday, and thankfully no extra snow, but everything has frozen again overnight, so ice is much more of a concern - on the roads and pavements. Although we've clearly got it mild compared to the Highlands and NE Scotland, so everything is relative.

I made mushroom & black olive pasta sauce and pasta for tea last night.  We also used up one stick of garlic bread that i'd bought - the other stick went in the freezer.  As I needed the oven, I also made an apple and blueberry sponge that used up some of the 'free' apples that I'd picked up from a box on my walk out of Greying Town one day in October, and which i'd open frozen taking tmv's advice.   I also used up the last of the frozen blueberries from 'way back'.  I still have 2 punnets of YS'd blueberries purchased in 2025 in the freezer!  The apples cooked up beautifully - oh and the sponge also used up the last 3 eggs that were (notionally) BB 5th Jan.  There is a smidge of pasta sauce - which used the waste source mushrooms - left over and 3 portions of pud.  I will reheat the pud tonight, and we will have a 'soup & pud' night for tea.  Gosh, it's almost seeming like I'm meal planning on a frugal bent these days......... 🤣

I don't think that I need to purchase anything today - which is good, as I don't think I want to travel anyway - leave the roads clear for people that need to be moving around.  The weather is supposed to be warming as the week progresses - I hope so, I loathe ice.  

LG is unhappy being back at school.  I do think there is an element of them 'talking themselves down', but there are also very disruptive kiddos in the class.  It's not even personal - at least one of the kiddo's is being 'less than polite' to everyone; kids, TA's, teachers......... There were several kids who - naturally - had several moons on several sticks for Christmas, which also is a tadge of a issue, in that LG is feeling a slight 'lack'.  However, and I still don't know how to explain this - some of the children's home lives aren't....... what we'd want for LG, and moons on sticks replace time with an adult, or curry favour from a child amongst warring adults, or have been bought to send out messages of 'look how wealthy we are' amongst peer groups 🙄 And some families just plain and simple have alot of generous relatives putting into the present pile.  Our wider family started out small, and is shrinking (seemingly) by the year.  If it wasn't for generous friends, LG would have even less ☹️And, actually, LG is good at recognising they are well thought of (in the friends and family we do have), and remembered at birthday's and Christmas, and they don't usually procrastinate too much over penning a little note of thanks to gifters.  And yes, the moon on a stick brigade make an eye-patch phone sound so attractive, but they don't equate the hours that they spend holed up in their various bedrooms as somewhat lacking stimulation.  At least LG gets out and about and does a variety of things - speaking to people/playing with chums/seeing a variety of sights.  

And please, don't think I'm commenting on how other people raise their kids - that's not the point I'm trying to air.  The point is I don't know how to explain to LG that X gets '2 Christmases', '2 birthdays', 'a ton of "things"' but they also have to shuttle between houses at the drop of a hat, or listen to adults screaming insults at each other, or have to share a parent with new half-siblings etc.  It's not always the case that people get lots and lots of things on top of having a fantastic 'textbook' homelife, perfect family (plus dog & cat), 1.4 siblings and 2 sets of doting grandparents....... life just isn't like that - and to a certain extent never, actually has been.  

In the grand scheme of things LG's life is 'rich', but they can't see that over the noise of 'stuff' and chaotic classmates.

Right, best go and rustle up some snap.  

Greying X

Cheery_Daff

Comparison is indeed the thief of joy,  isn't it? Poor old LG, and poor old you having to deal with it. Not to mention the kids who are living with it.  Nobody wins!

Greying_Pilgrim

Cheery_Daff said:

Comparison is indeed the thief of joy,  isn't it? Poor old LG, and poor old you having to deal with it. Not to mention the kids who are living with it.  Nobody wins!

Precisely Cheery!  I just tried to have a chat with LG and used one child as an example - and LG clearly has no clue as to that child's back-story/familial circumstances, even though, some of it is obvious and staring LG in the face 🙄 (and no, I didn't elaborate any further about that aspect).  The fact that this child has every electronic device under the sun and spends the majority of the day (especially any day that is not a school day), glued to said devices is all 🙄 

I don't know how to discuss the issue, if I use (made up) "examples", LG doesn't get the point and gets caught up with tangents/semantics, and if I use real-life examples, I'm scared stiff that LG will blurt out "my mum says"........  Which really isn't the point I'm trying to get to - I have no desire to judge how others live their lives, but I do feel the need to explain to LG why sometimes we won't buy X, Y or Z, or go down certain parenting routes, or why perhaps we would prefer to go in a different direction.  Honestly, whilst I want to hold out; frankly, the incentive to throw in the towel and just get LG all the stuff and abdicate responsibility to corporate imbedded 'parental controls' is strong.  Having written that out, perhaps the answer lies somewhere in keeping discussions/explanations simply to what our 'framework' looks like - no-one else's matters........🤔

The trouble is, my youth was too long ago.  Of course, divorce, separation, widows/widowers, desertion all existed. I didn't live in a bubble.  And unhappy marriages existed too, as did affairs and everything that we encounter today.  Human beings were doing human doings, even as long ago as the last century 😉🤣  And some kids have always been bought the moon on a stick.  And yes, I remember back to feeling 'left out' or 'poor' (in the broadest sense of the word - where I lived, the vast majority of families were working class poor), or desiring a toy, or a 'thing' or an outfit - whatever was the popular item du jour.  But as I came into adulthood, I began to see what (sometimes) was behind all the 'stuff'.  Very little of it was good fortune, or care or nurturing and the 'new car on the drive' wasn't always a sign of a successful career. So as an adult I am content with so much less than some of my peers.  Our priorities are a home, warmth, food, clothes with as much love and adventure thrown in too.  But both DH and I have different love languages - DH's is more about 'stuff' than I will ever be, but also he puts high value on - for example - being made a cup of tea........ (random, I know!).  

This is me thinking out loud further.  If we raise LG to be able to read and write, have a conversation, be kind and have good manners, are we setting them up for a fall later in life?  Or if we give them everything they desire, let them stay in their bedroom on electronic devices all the time, never teach them to ride a bike, swim, canoe, crochet, change a plug or run bare-foot in the sand are we equally setting them up for a fall?  I'm not seeking answers, but from where I'm stood as a parent in 2026, it seems harder and harder to deviate away from the second option, because everyone else is doing that.  Just musing, not seeking definitive answers, and certainly, certainly not trying to make any judgement about other folks lives.  At the risk of sounding horrid, I'm just trying to sort our stuff out, I don't care (enough) what others get up too, although I do wish sometimes I didn't have to deal with the fall-out as it hits my loved ones.  

Please don't read any of ^ as criticism of others, and please don't think I'm seeking answers, as much as anything, writing it out sometimes makes a course of action, or a route through a situation, become apparent.  I hope I'm no Judgy-mcJudge-pants, I'm just trying to see how we need to direct Fam. Greying resources.  And I'm pretty sure - although who knows? - that whilst our current house hasn't proved the ideal move, and there isn't quite as much 'community' as I'd hoped for, neither am I totally convinced that a move 'away' would solve everything in one fell swoop.  So in some ways, another mortgage isn't on the cards - I think some of the issues we're encountering are societal, and not bound to our way of being, or, indeed, the ways and doings of folks around us - we'd encounter similar situations elsewhere. 

Greying X