Prosperous & Creative Soul & MFW Year 3

WelshmansDaughter

PM’d a couple of links, SH. Don’t be put off by the reference to kid’s cleaning, it is super useful. Which is a point I do need to add to my list- use resources aimed at kids for stuff I find hard. I do it for the emotional stuff as well as ADLs. It’s good because it means you’re starting from the beginning and there isn’t this huge gap between your skillset and expectations.
A cleaning tip I find helpful as an ASD person (and cleaner) is to batch tasks. So at work for example I empty all bins, clean all tables etc rather than breaking it up by room. 

When it comes to clutter clearing the most common problem is looking at a big pile and thinking it all has to go away, it’s all different stuff, going to different places… 
This is where the layer thing comes in.
Each person will have their own types of objects that pile up.
The key is to investigate your piles and put each item into a category. 

Once you have a list of the types of things you have, then you can break it down into how often you want to put them away. Examples could be daily, after use, weekly, leave them out etc. whatever makes sense with your routines.
Where they go means looking at your space with your needs in mind. Are you realistically going to put stuff away upstairs? Does it make sense to have your clothes beside your laundry/in your bathroom/turn a room into a dressing room? 

The idea is to develop routines that will feel intuitive to you. But this has to happen over time. Videoing yourself doing the things you want to establish as a routine can help with a visual brain.
If you would like a second opinion I can look at pics/draw a visual.

V long post, sorry. 

The ASD side of things generally means not doing the typical things like therapy. It’s more about the natural stress relievers like jumping, flapping, dancing, weighted blankets, stretch blankets, deep pressure, stimulus free time. 
If you are having trouble with figuring out what works for you a sensory integration therapist might help. 

LadyWithAPlan

Sounds like WMD has some great ideas there for you. Glad the DD and her partner are helping.
The struggle is clutter is so real and I know how hard you worked before moving 

(and bah humbug to the asbestos)

jwil

Sounds like DD and BF have made a great start, and hope it eases the mental load a bit.  Glad you've got some help with the sleeping too.

savingholmes

Thanks WD, LWAP and Jwil

I'll look into your suggestions WD. I still don't take my neurodivergence seriously enough - so the sensory integration thing you mentioned sounds an interesting one to investigate and I'll look into the books too. 

The drive people came and made a decent start breaking up concrete, moving paving stones and all my plant pots etc. 

I've had one quote for the asbestos so far at £1.5K to encapsulate or close to double to remove entirely - from just 20m2 or so. That was a scary number and about double what I'd expected - so definitely need other quotes. I've rung the original flooring company and explained I need to delay. I have a provisional floor fitting date of the second week of December now.

I managed to get the essential stuff done for work in less time - and then finished early as agreed so that was much better for me. DD and her BF came around and did another 3 hours each. I now have some toggle laces in one of my trainer sets - and that felt so much easier. I need to work out the right length for me and then cut them to fit - but wish I'd done it years ago - you know when I bought them... Her BF did it for me though as I struggle with fiddly stuff like that (despite doing art - perhaps it's a muscle memory issue?). He cleaned both of my bathrooms and hoovered the stairs while DD and I continued tackling stuff from my utility area. 

I'm currently re-washing a load of stuff that was on the surface in the utility - and then hopefully can either give them homes or let them go. I've also put some surplus items into the dishwasher to wash before donating. Filled another cardboard / paper bag (partly with items I'd intended to collage) - as they have outstripped their container. Also filled another general waste bag and another bag for charity. Good to see visible progress. Not yet at the stage where the BF could mop the back L shape in its totality but getting closer. In theory they'll come back tomorrow and I've suggested the BF drops some stuff off at the tip and charity shop for me while DD and I continue with the declutter.

The window cleaner also came today so that's another thing off the list.

beanielou

Glad the BF & your DD are still helping & you are making such big strides forward. 

WelshmansDaughter

Sounds like you’re making good progress.

You can get magnetic laces SH 

lucielle

Well done on the progress. 

L

savingholmes

Thanks Beanie, WD and Lucielle

DD and BF bobbed back yesterday and took some stuff to the tip and charity for me and did some more cleaning and decluttering. Getting there slowly. I have been shocked at how bad it had got as it kind of crept up without me realising until it felt unmanageable. I've said I may ask them to do some more at the weekend but needed a break for a few days.

The driveway people are still working - but they are behind as they've had half the people here today they said they would. They have agreed however to give me the handrails up to the lawn area for free, swap some sleepers for more of a stone and paver step up to the lawn so its less slippery and dig out some bamboo on an upper tier that the previous person I paid ripped me off without doing. Definitely never using that handyman/gardener again - the one I paid £140 to. Today's workmen had put all my front plant pots on the pavement - and plants they dug up - so I just went out and made them move them all to the back. The plants and pots add up - and between them are probably worth £300-400. I don't want them nicked or to annoy the neighbours.

I just got two quotes for the asbestos in the end as a couple of other places I rang didn't pick up and I just want it done. I've found one that will take the lot out of the lounge and hallway including the understairs cupboard for just over £1K and provide proof of correct disposal etc. He's going to let me know on the day whether what's lying in the loft or garage looks dodgy and I need to get it tested or not.  I may add the understairs cupboard to my flooring order. I need to take a rough measure - but perhaps 3-5m2. I'm getting the asbestos removed the first week of December and then the floor fitted the following week. I might then take the bodged cupboard doors off at least part of it and make it more open plan so it's easier to access the storage as it is a bit of a pain currently.

I need to find a joiner to quote for putting skirting boards on and adjusting the doors after the floor fitting if needed.

I also still need to look for an electrician.

The chemist has said my next prescription is ready so I need to collect that once the workmen have left.

The dizziness is easing which is making me feel better and the new medication is making me feel calmer and more able to think. I'm still really tired though.

KajiKita

Sounds like you are ‘surfacing’ a bit more and what DD and BF are doing is really helping. 😊

I like the idea of taking the under stairs door off to make the storage more visible. Maybe when you find a carpenter (rather than a joiner - they make the units for a kitchen for example, a carpenter fits them in the building - I’m not aiming to be pedantic here - it’s just if you use the wrong search terms you might not find what you are looking for) to do the skirting / adjust doors they could also review the shelves in that space for you at the same time? 

Is your sleep improving at all? 

KK

WelshmansDaughter

Could you try something small? Like I will put ‘x’ away every day. I found that having the proof that I could do it was quite encouraging. And it made use of my brains need for repetition