Money Moral Dilemma: Can I keep some of the cash from selling my daughter's christening present?

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MSE_Kelvin
MSE_Kelvin Posts: 346 MSE Staff
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This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

My daughter was given an antique toy as a christening present 18 years ago, which she stopped playing with long ago and says she no longer wants. I mentioned this to an acquaintance with an interest in antiques, and they put me in touch with a buyer who, after some haggling on my part, is willing to pay a significant sum for it. Do I give all the money to my daughter, as it was her present, or would it be reasonable to keep some for myself as she no longer wanted it and I found the buyer?

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Comments

  • lincroft1710
    lincroft1710 Posts: 17,726 Forumite
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    Agree with @Brie
    If you are querying your Council Tax band would you please state whether you are in England, Scotland or Wales
  • tacpot12
    tacpot12 Posts: 8,091 Forumite
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    I would ask her if she will split the money with her as you found the buyer that was prepared to pay a good price. She has been a bit unclear by saying that she no longer wants it, rather than clearly gifting it to you. Even if she had gifted it, she might be upset if you had immediately sold it. 
    The comments I post are my personal opinion. While I try to check everything is correct before posting, I can and do make mistakes, so always try to check official information sources before relying on my posts.
  • [Deleted User]
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    If there was an expense to you eg phone calls or petrol money if you take it to the buyer then it 'might' be reasonable to say to your daughter that you would like that amount back Otherwise it was a gift to her,   and she should have the money if she no longer wanted it and agreed to the sale. 
     
  • bikaga
    bikaga Posts: 159 Forumite
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    What's significant depends a lot on circumstances, so I'm not sure if you're talking about 200 or 5000 here.

    If I were the daughter, I'd do something nice for you with part of the money as a thank you. Taking a commission from a sale that's not been requested sounds very weird to me - she might have assumed you were going to gift it to someone with a small child or put it in a box in the attic. (Never mind the weirdness of wanting to profit from your daughter's stuff that you didn't even buy.)

    Like 95% of the family-and-friends questions in the moral dilemmas - just talk to your daughter. She might even choose to keep it as an investment once she learns what it's worth as the value is unlikely to decrease, but she doesn't even know that's an option.
  • ripongrammargirl
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    Simple answer- communicate!! So much can be solved by just talking. Although it sounds to me like she has just offloaded her childhood stuff on to you without any real thought- bet she would think again if you told her you were charging storage space or what someone was willing to offer for the toy! I wish my parents had asked my permission before getting rid of so many of my memories from childhood, whilst I was still actually a child. Every day I woke up and something else had gone or “you must have lost it” response (I never lose anything as I have OCD about tidiness/everything has a place and everything in its place). I still think about all the great books and toys that were sold or given away 40 years ago, without my knowledge, some of which would be worth a fortune today. My stuff to dispose of but things were very different then, or at least in our family, and I’m still upset by it even today. 
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