Lodger wants another months notice

Grumpy_chap

I think the best thing the OP can do, and still being the nice person they are, is to say they have considered the request for a longer period but they really need the tenancy to end as per the notice given, i.e. on 30th September and no later and firmly state to the lodger that they must make arrangements to vacate by that date.

Do not consider paying for a hotel.  If the lodger has not made alternative arrangements, they can pay for their own hotel. The potential cost of that might put into focus the costs of other lodging accommodation that may be available.

If the lodger thinks they can stay until the end of September, of 6th October, and then a couple of weeks for free in a hotel paid for by the OP, the lodger has little incentive to do anything else.

FreeBear

Landladyinwaiting2082 said: It wasn't an easy decision for me in the first place so this curve ball hasn't been welcome and I don't fully feel like a month is a lot of time myself but then some of the things he said about looking at other rooms has me maybe thinking otherwise

Repeat after me - "Not my problem"

Keep saying that, and play hard nosed. Another powerful word is "NO".

Ksw3

OP never tell anyone that you have been easy to walkover. All that does is advertise that they can do it to you too.

Be firm. Be repetitive. Oh z excuse, that is rather unfortunate but as I say you are required to leave on x date and I will be changing the locks. 

Just say it again and again and follow through. People who take advantage of others love conversations because they tie you up in knots. Go back to that us unfortunate, I require you to leave....etc etc

Landladyinwaiting2082

Ksw3 said:

OP never tell anyone that you have been easy to walkover. All that does is advertise that they can do it to you too.

Be firm. Be repetitive. Oh z excuse, that is rather unfortunate but as I say you are required to leave on x date and I will be changing the locks. 

Just say it again and again and follow through. People who take advantage of others love conversations because they tie you up in knots. Go back to that us unfortunate, I require you to leave....etc etc

I can't fault him to be honest, he brought this conversation up to me early rather than leaving it until the 1st of October when I would have expected him to leave.  I don't think his intentions are malicious thankfully.  I'm trying to tread the fine line between between being the nasty capitalist landlady and the person who just rented out their spare room in good faith of someone needing a place to rest their head at night.  

sheramber

Landladyinwaiting2082 said:

Ksw3 said:

OP never tell anyone that you have been easy to walkover. All that does is advertise that they can do it to you too.

Be firm. Be repetitive. Oh z excuse, that is rather unfortunate but as I say you are required to leave on x date and I will be changing the locks. 

Just say it again and again and follow through. People who take advantage of others love conversations because they tie you up in knots. Go back to that us unfortunate, I require you to leave....etc etc

I can't fault him to be honest, he brought this conversation up to me early rather than leaving it until the 1st of October when I would have expected him to leave.  I don't think his intentions are malicious thankfully.  I'm trying to tread the fine line between between being the nasty capitalist landlady and the person who just rented out their spare room in good faith of someone needing a place to rest their head at night.  

How did he know right away that another month would allow him to find something?

He is playing on your good nature and unless you are prepared to stick to the first date you could end up with him still there next year.

Just say  'NO'. No excuses, no reasons, just 'NO'.

Jude57

Landladyinwaiting2082 said:

Ksw3 said:

OP never tell anyone that you have been easy to walkover. All that does is advertise that they can do it to you too.

Be firm. Be repetitive. Oh z excuse, that is rather unfortunate but as I say you are required to leave on x date and I will be changing the locks. 

Just say it again and again and follow through. People who take advantage of others love conversations because they tie you up in knots. Go back to that us unfortunate, I require you to leave....etc etc

I can't fault him to be honest, he brought this conversation up to me early rather than leaving it until the 1st of October when I would have expected him to leave.  I don't think his intentions are malicious thankfully.  I'm trying to tread the fine line between between being the nasty capitalist landlady and the person who just rented out their spare room in good faith of someone needing a place to rest their head at night.  

Why does this stranger's (in the legal sense, and assuming he's not a friend or relative) opinion of you matter one iota? Who is he going to tell that you're a 'nasty capitalist landlady'? And again,why would you care what he says once he's gone? Unless you're going to have to interact with him in some way after he leaves your home, you'll likely never see or hear from him again so his opinion of you is irrelevant.

Please, whatever you do, don't pay for a hotel for him. I'm concerned, as other posters are, that your generosity will be abused in some way, not excluding that it could be construed by a Court as you admitting your lodger had more rights than he actually has as a lodger. Unlikely, you say? Perhaps, but there was a thread here not long ago where a lodger who expected to be provided with toiletries as part of his deal and had built up arrears, was, despite all apparent evidence to the contrary, judged to have been a tenant rather than a lodger and the resident landlord who had, like you, been nothing but kind and patient, was ordered to pay substantial costs to the ex-lodger/tenant. Please don't muddy the legal waters any further.

I rather like @FreeBear suggestion of leaving new locks (sans keys) lying around as a pointed hint, but would suggest being more specific and naming the date on which you will expect him out then follow previous advice and change the locks. Carefully pack up his stuff and tell him when he can collect ALL of it, say seven days later, or whatever works for you. I'd suggest having someone (preferably a large, capable looking person) with you to help pack as a witness and to stand by as the lodger collects his things at the doorstep. If at any point you feel runs, call the police immediately.

timehastoldme

Landladyinwaiting2082 said:

The atmosphere was a little bit hostile last night and he's spent the night out of the house (heaven's knows where) after I basically told him that I am thinking about booking a hotel for him for the last two weeks of October.  So he knows that I'm not completely happy with the arrangement.  He then said 'if' he can find somewhere on the 6th of October etc then he will get it sorted.  

So things aren't exactly concrete at the moment. 

I know this is hard but if you want concrete, is up to you to lay the foundations.

Hostile atmosphere is a 🚩
Only agreeing to move 'if' he finds somewhere 🚩
Flouncing 🚩

He isn't taking your eviction seriously.

Lodger, in light of last night's discussion I'm no longer happy to extend the notice period and on 1st of October I'm changing the locks. Best of luck, don't let the door hit you on the *rse.

Landladyinwaiting2082

sheramber said:

Landladyinwaiting2082 said:

Ksw3 said:

OP never tell anyone that you have been easy to walkover. All that does is advertise that they can do it to you too.

Be firm. Be repetitive. Oh z excuse, that is rather unfortunate but as I say you are required to leave on x date and I will be changing the locks. 

Just say it again and again and follow through. People who take advantage of others love conversations because they tie you up in knots. Go back to that us unfortunate, I require you to leave....etc etc

I can't fault him to be honest, he brought this conversation up to me early rather than leaving it until the 1st of October when I would have expected him to leave.  I don't think his intentions are malicious thankfully.  I'm trying to tread the fine line between between being the nasty capitalist landlady and the person who just rented out their spare room in good faith of someone needing a place to rest their head at night.  

How did he know right away that another month would allow him to find something?

He is playing on your good nature and unless you are prepared to stick to the first date you could end up with him still there next year.

Just say  'NO'. No excuses, no reasons, just 'NO'.

Something about having issues with their car insurance.  Being honest it came more across as 'now isn't a good time for me' but then when is ever a landlord asking you to leave a good time for anyone lol It's been my first time asking a lodger to leave so I am finding it hard to navigate.  The last lodger left of his own accord so I guess I never had to deal with this sort of thing where I'm the one asking someone to leave in that regard.  Feels strange to be on the other side of the spectrum. 

Landladyinwaiting2082

timehastoldme said:

Landladyinwaiting2082 said:

The atmosphere was a little bit hostile last night and he's spent the night out of the house (heaven's knows where) after I basically told him that I am thinking about booking a hotel for him for the last two weeks of October.  So he knows that I'm not completely happy with the arrangement.  He then said 'if' he can find somewhere on the 6th of October etc then he will get it sorted.  

So things aren't exactly concrete at the moment. 

I know this is hard but if you want concrete, is up to you to lay the foundations.

Hostile atmosphere is a 🚩
Only agreeing to move 'if' he finds somewhere 🚩
Flouncing 🚩

He isn't taking your eviction seriously.

Lodger, in light of last night's discussion I'm no longer happy to extend the notice period and on 1st of October I'm changing the locks. Best of luck, don't let the door hit you on the *rse.

I can't help but feel bad.  He technically didn't give me any written messages yesterday.  Which is making me feel like the *rse because I know he's leaving things badly in his own court.  I've been the only one to leave any written notice so far which I'm pretty sure parks me legally ahead of him and I really don't want to take advantage.  I think I'll give him, written notice for two weeks.  However changing the locks is going to be awkward as his work routine is sporadic.  He'll have a Friday off and then he'll have a Monday off.  His work routine doesn't make sense and hasn't for a long time.  Trying to organise a time to get a locksmith in is going to be hard and I have no past experience of changing locks. 

sheramber

 'now isn't a good time for me' 

And neither will next month or the next.

Tell him him staying beyond the date given is not a good time for you.

He is making excuses and you are making excuses.

Either you insist he leaves on time or you accept he is not going. 

Which do you want?