Who does the house go to when a partner dies? Partner disagrees.

molerat

If you want a good wheeze read this one.  Nothing is certain unless it is sealed up in an airtight legal agreement, not strictly the same as here but still

https://www.heraldscotland.com/news/12100749.sheriff-wins-share-of-house-sale-proceeds/

YoungBlueEyes

I suspect they're gong to heavily gut this thread, if not delete it entirely, while I'm typing this.

I've gotta say I can understand a lot of the points made in this thread, both OP's and her partner's. Whilst he wants to protect what's his (pre marriage/children), he's shown some movement for a change in the future. How people divide/share/protect their wealth is very personal - what works for one won't necessarily work for the next. 

I appreciate that, as a woman int his specific situation, I'm a bit of an outlier, but here's why I can understand the varying points of view. I bought my last wee house myself, cash buyer. Then I met himself and after a while (a year or so?) he moved in. He didn't ask to - and I didn't offer for him to - buy half my house off me or to go on the deeds or whatever. He paid the difference in council tax he was costing, it went from single person rate to full whack so we halved that, and he gave me a bit of housekeeping money to account for extra food etc. I was protecting myself really in case it went wrong - I wasn't going to risk losing half to someone who'd made no real contribution or improvement just because we'd broken up. (In general terms.) 

Last year we moved and bought a house together. I put half down in cash as a deposit, he's paying the mortgage. I paid for new windows/doors/roof needed sorted/new gutters and downpipes /new carpets etc. I paid for that to square up the extra that he'll be paying on mortgage + interest. From here on I pay all the bills other than the mortgage, because that's the biggie and he earns more than I do. We both think that's fair. I couldn't tell you how it works out in %age terms, but it's near enough for us. 

You find what works for you. His situation now (brother/unmarried/no kids) isn't going to be permanent I think you said? As long as you're both committed to the relationship and fluid enough to make it work, you'll make it work.  

That turned into a bit of an essay, but I hope it helps  

markin

It would possibly be better for him to move in with you, Should have been after 2 years really, You don't really know if your a good match until you can live alone together. Like it or not the is a biological clock ticking.

Maybe he should be the one buying out the brother when the time is right, And you putting in when working, You buying 50% and then taking at least 9 months off per kid won't be easy, Would you be able to afford daycare to go back to work, Not everyone can earn enough to make it worth going back to work.

Would he expect you to keep paying the bills and daycare.

Convince him that a marriage is simply a business contract?

WYSPECIAL

If he left dependant children and didn’t make sufficient provision for them you would be able to contest the Will.

If he is so concerned to provide for his siblings after his death what is he doing to provide for them now? 

ouraggie

i would def not move in yet. I would want the sibling to sell me his 50% share asap, only then would i move in. In the meantime i would suggest my boyfriend spent most of his time with me in my rented place so we could practise living together. 

I would want to either inherit his half if he died, or to have a lifetime interest for me if he died and EXACTLY THE SAME FOR HIM IF I DIE.
 If we had children i would expect the tenancy to then be changed so that my children inherit both my and his share. I would expect him to do exactly the same.
If he did not agree to this, i would be running for the hills.

Sounds to me like the bf is not sure about his future,  so he is moving forward with things but without actually shutting any doors eg if it doesn’t work out living with you he can easily just go back to it being him and his brother; if you do buy the sibling’s half and it then doesnt work out, the siblings will still inherit , as they would have done previously. 

I say this because i behaved the same as him. It affects your thinking and decisions if you’re not 100% sure about the relationship. 

KerrBearrxo

Absolutely not and you are correct in your thought process. However it is HIS choice so I would be inclined to look and reconsider if he is actually the right partner for you (if it was me this would ring alarm bells and red flags)

This is my opinion so take it as that.

If I bought a house with my long term partner and one of us died, the other one should get the house automatically. No questions asked. If we both died, then yes it can be distributed as you both see fit.

I have this exact arrangement with my long term partner and we are not having children (also in our 30's) and if he ever suggested that if something happened to him he would leave his half to his brother instead of me, I would question this profusely and I would not agree.

People change when people die and money is involved. Never trust people's 'good-willed' nature. Always get contracts, always get things in writing and make sure YOU are set if something happens.

I have the exact agreement in place that you are proposing. Saying that you can live there but when you sell it the money needs to go to his family is odd, especially if you are considering children. Would he rather have his children brought up in his family home, looked after by their mother with no worries about mortgage payments and surviving on one income or would he rather boot you all out of the house you've brought your kids up in just so his family can have a bit of spare cash?

Very odd thought process if you ask me. I'd speak to him and make it very clear that if that's how he values his long term partner and potential children - that's very odd.

Furthermore, if you aren't married (we aren't) you will struggle to get access to any of his money or assets. The house may be the only thing you end up with. If he doesn't have a Will in place. You can fight for it in courts, but its costly, time consuming and not something you want to be doing after losing a loved one and trying to keep a roof over your head with one income looking after a family.