Legally marry and not inform anyone - official or family

Username03725

An acquaintance of mine & his [now] wife were married in a register office where they were on holiday, having booked the Registry Office in advance in good time. The witnesses were a couple of random strangers who were literally passing at the right time and were apparently thrilled to be part of such a shenanigan. 

Arguably this doesn't fit the 'no-one knows' requirement, but in real-world terms no-one who knows the couple knows about the wedding, and shows that it can be done.

sheramber

But the OP doesn't want the sate to know, makes one wonder why.

Sarahspangles

So long as you're legally able to get married, nobody can do anything about it.

If there's some reason it's important to be married that means you will eventually have to tell people that you are, why wait?

BungalowBel

A wedding is, legally, a public event.

However, as others have said, get married somewhere other than your home town and get witnesses from that town.  You will obviously have to let the relevant authorities know (your banns will be published at the registry office, but who reads those anyway?), the registrar and your witnesses will know, but no-one else need know.

Why not get married in Gibraltar?  Then you can just say you're having a holiday, and not much chance of anyone knowing you.

https://www.gibraltar.gov.gi/uploads/files/marriages-civil-partnerships/Marriages-&-Civil-Partnerships-Guidance-Notes-AUG-2022.pdf

sheramber

Sarahspangles said:

So long as you're legally able to get married, nobody can do anything about it.

If there's some reason it's important to be married that means you will eventually have to tell people that you are, why wait?

We don't know the OP's reasons but I read the situation as everybody thinks they are married and admitting that they are not would cause family trouble.

Their are some communities where living together without being married is  not acceptable.

Sarahspangles

BungalowBel said:

However, as others have said, get married somewhere other than your home town and get witnesses from that town.  You will obviously have to let the relevant authorities know (your banns will be published at the registry office, but who reads those anyway?), the registrar and your witnesses will know, but no-one else need know.

I used to work in a Town Hall, which (and this is unusual) had a restaurant open to the public at lunch. This meant that everyone going to up to the restaurant walked past the cabinets where the notices of weddings were pinned up. I always thought it must be very inconvenient for people who wanted to marry quietly!

As the Wedding Room was in the same building we often had to wait at the end of a corridor while people ‘processed’ and when the first same sex wedding was able to take place the staff did a sort of guard of honour around the atrium (with permission from managers) to make it ‘extra official’ and public. It was very moving.

Rob5342

It's a registration with the state done by an official making a public record with two witnesses, so quite obviously the state, someone official.and two witnesses have to know about it!  When it comes to wills or claiming benefits you might have to tell declare ir. You can keeps it low key to minimise the chance of people finding out though. Find a registry office in a town thats a reasonable distance away, although I think you still have to give notice at your local registry office.

Slinky

Rob5342 said:

It's a registration with the state done by an official making a public record with two witnesses, so quite obviously the state, someone official.and two witnesses have to know about it!  When it comes to wills or claiming benefits you might have to tell declare ir. You can keeps it low key to minimise the chance of people finding out though. Find a registry office in a town thats a reasonable distance away, although I think you still have to give notice at your local registry office.

This is indeed the case. We married in a licensed wedding venue but had to go to two register offices as we lived in one county and married in another so had to see the registrars in both.

Savvy_Sue

sheramber said:

Sarahspangles said:

So long as you're legally able to get married, nobody can do anything about it.

If there's some reason it's important to be married that means you will eventually have to tell people that you are, why wait?

We don't know the OP's reasons but I read the situation as everybody thinks they are married and admitting that they are not would cause family trouble.

Their are some communities where living together without being married is  not acceptable.

I read the opposite, that they're not married and there would be uproar if they DID marry! 

Whatever, it's worth saying that you don't have to tell your employer or your work colleagues, or change your name or title. If you're claiming benefits you would have to declare your legal status in some situations, whereas in others it wouldn't matter whether you were 'officially' a couple or just living together.

spankee

Just to let some of you know - Its not for any illegal or dodgy reason, no coersion or anything nefarious! Its more of a 'romeo and juliet' situation, 2 families with a long history of hating each other to the point of violence. Oh and we're not foreign we're welsh!

Thanks to those who given honest opinions and advice, I think if we DO get married it will be abroad or we just won't do it to save trouble. Which is a shame really. Because we love each other, and our families, nothing would make us happier than to join together with them all but we'd be on the 9 oc news.