Kicking abusive son out of family home.

funnymonkey

Thank you for all your replies

 So very helpful in a difficult situation.

I obviously wish to support my son as his abuse towards his sister has gone on for years which I believe to be ADHD/mild autism related and genuinely believe it's not intentional.
He has a diagnosis for ADHD but not autism but hoping that something will come of it as phoned the council and he's expecting a call back today/ tomorrow.

P.s he is working but on a zero hours contract so very limited irregular income.
Thank you all

elsien

You/he may find this helpful before he speaks to them because it is his decision as to whether he wants an assessment if he could possibly be eligible. 
Note where it says a formal diagnosis is not required.

Key Care Act 2014 duties for assessment and determination of eligibility | SCIE

This would be the first step in determining whether he was eligible for support and how those needs could then be met. Be aware that services are very stretched and those with high needs are being prioritised, If your son can hold down a job and manage day to day then there's a fair chance he will be deemed ineligible or go on the end of a long waiting list unless you can put up a good arguement otherwise.


He can make a claim for universal credit if his earnings are low. 

theoretica

funnymonkey said:

I obviously wish to support my son as his abuse towards his sister has gone on for years

Of course we don't know the details of the situation - but it reads horribly to me as though social services etc waited until he was 18 (having not successfully helped before then) and then announced he was not their problem.  So everyone - except their budget - gets to suffer for their lack of earlier action.  Something I would hold against them...

jonnydeppiwish!

ian1246 said:

time for a life lesson: if you physically attack family (involvement of Police), then the consequence is you no longer get the privilege of living with family and become homeless. Give him no notice and change the locks. If he causes issues, phone the Police and he ll get arrested - he's an adult now, no longer a child.

This and this again. He needs to know he’s responsible for his actions. No child should have to put up with this sort of behaviour full stop, let alone in their own home.

GDB2222

Out of interest, what happens if you don't kick your vulnerable son out? Will the 'multiple agencies' concerned with your teenage daughter's safety then want to put her in care? Or, to save that very, very considerable expense, will they suddenly look for ways to help your son? 

I know that's high risk, but I'm not sure that you should just kick your son out to suit the SS. Others will say that I'm wrong, and he needs to act in a more adult fashion, but there must be a significant risk of him suffering significant harm if you simply throw him out on the street. 

marcia_

GDB2222 said:

Out of interest, what happens if you don't kick your vulnerable son out? Will the 'multiple agencies' concerned with your teenage daughter's safety then want to put her in care? Or, to save that very, very considerable expense, will they suddenly look for ways to help your son? 

I know that's high risk, but I'm not sure that you should just kick your son out to suit the SS. Others will say that I'm wrong, and he needs to act in a more adult fashion, but there must be a significant risk of him suffering significant harm if you simply throw him out on the street. 

 Expense doesn't come in to it when it comes to protecting children from harm. 

funnymonkey

elsien said:

Is he likely to have any eligible support needs under the Care Act? 

Is his behaviour primarily towards family and can he/will he control it at other times?

Yes

 His behaviour is just directly towards his sister. I have believed for years that jealousy when a 2nd child is born but hasn't been able to move on like most do.

silvercar

marcia_ said:

GDB2222 said:

Out of interest, what happens if you don't kick your vulnerable son out? Will the 'multiple agencies' concerned with your teenage daughter's safety then want to put her in care? Or, to save that very, very considerable expense, will they suddenly look for ways to help your son? 

I know that's high risk, but I'm not sure that you should just kick your son out to suit the SS. Others will say that I'm wrong, and he needs to act in a more adult fashion, but there must be a significant risk of him suffering significant harm if you simply throw him out on the street. 

 Expense doesn't come in to it when it comes to protecting children from harm. 

The problem is that both children need help.

theoretica

funnymonkey said:

elsien said:

Is he likely to have any eligible support needs under the Care Act? 

Is his behaviour primarily towards family and can he/will he control it at other times?

Yes

 His behaviour is just directly towards his sister. I have believed for years that jealousy when a 2nd child is born but hasn't been able to move on like most do.

Sorry to maybe add to your concerns, but that makes me worried for her safety on the street if he is kicked out of the house, and especially as he is likely to realise why and resent her even more for that. 

youth_leader

I am terribly sorry you and your children are in this situation.

I agree with theoretica.  I think you might also have to move.