Kicking abusive son out of family home.

funnymonkey

I'm after some advice pls

My son, just turned 18 is extremely abusive towards his younger sister (a minor) and sadly I have to kick him out due to child protection concerns but not sure of the legality of the difficult situation.

How much notice do I need to give him from a legal viewpoint and how best can I help him to get safe housing please as I wish to help him as much as possible as much of his abusive nature is ADHD/ mild autism related so needs support.


Just to add multi-agencies, daughter's school, police and social services are involved to support my daughter but can't assist my son as he's over 18.

Many thanks

Karr55

Does your son have a diagnosis of autism? There are  supported housing options but you would need funding to be in place. 

https://www.england.nhs.uk/learning-disabilities/care/housing/

marcia_

funnymonkey said:

I'm after some advice pls

My son, just turned 18 is extremely abusive towards his younger sister (a minor) and sadly I have to kick him out due to child protection concerns but not sure of the legality of the difficult situation.

How much notice do I need to give him from a legal viewpoint and how best can I help him to get safe housing please as I wish to help him as much as possible as much of his abusive nature is ADHD/ mild autism related so needs support.


Just to add multi-agencies, daughter's school, police and social services are involved to support my daughter but can't assist my son as he's over 18.

Many thanks

 You do not need to give him any notice. Just tell him to leave and direct him to the councils homeless team. 

 He can register as homeless with your local council and they will attempt to find him accommodation. It will likely be a hostel but he will be placed on the housing list but as a young single male will not be priority

 if he found private accommodation rental the council can help with a deposit and rent in advance 

theartfullodger

Probably a letter giving him notice (24 hours or less imho ) would help him with council.

Then change ALL the locks.  If/when he wants his stuff agree a time, put things outside, but don't let him back in.

All very sad.  Best wishes to all of you 

housebuyer143

theartfullodger said:

Probably a letter giving him notice (24 hours or less imho ) would help him with council.

Then change ALL the locks.  If/when he wants his stuff agree a time, put things outside, but don't let him back in.

All very sad.  Best wishes to all of you 

Problem is, single male - he will probably be on the streets rather than put in any accommodation, at least for the short term  

silvercar

Assuming that you do want to support your son, the answer may be for you to help find him a rental. Maybe a room in a shared house so he isn't isolated. If you could guarantee the rent the landlord may be more interested in offering a tenancy. 

ian1246

If he's behaving this way towards his sister to the point Police and multi-agencies are involved, I would strongly urge NOT being his guarantor for any rent.

Regardless of his diagnosis, he presumably has capacity (if he doesn't have capacity, why aren't social services/support already involved?), If so then he should know  what he is doing - I know you probably won't want to hear this, but ultimately he is making the conscious choice to abuse his sister and behave in such a way.

If he treats his sister in such a way and you were to consider acting as a guarantor for a rental, you need to have an honest assessment of whether he will respect you/your family in terms of the consequences for you and your family if he stops rent payments or trashes the place - since ultimately you will be financially responsible in such a scenario.

Frankly, I think its time for a life lesson: if you physically attack family (involvement of Police), then the consequence is you no longer get the privilege of living with family and become homeless. Give him no notice and change the locks. If he causes issues, phone the Police and he ll get arrested - he's an adult now, no longer a child.

london21

Get the council involved.

For them to take him seriously he would have to be made homeless as in you say you don't want him there anymore formally.

He might struggle to get a private rental as landlords strict with affordability nowadays.

Does he work? Has he always been like this or has something recently changed?

gwynlas

Does your son have a mental health diagnosis as this could make a difference in finding housing and on going support for him?

GDB2222

Both are your children, and you want to protect them both. I think we can all sympathise with that. 

If you want to help your son, you need to put some money into this. Is that something that you can afford to do? 

As a private landlord, I can definitely say that I would need some persuasion to take an 18 year old lad, so a guarantee from a homeowner would be needed. 

housebuyer143

ian1246 said:

If he's behaving this way towards his sister to the point Police and multi-agencies are involved, I would strongly urge NOT being his guarantor for any rent.

Regardless of his diagnosis, he presumably has capacity (if he doesn't have capacity, why aren't social services/support already involved?), If so then he should know  what he is doing - I know you probably won't want to hear this, but ultimately he is making the conscious choice to abuse his sister and behave in such a way.

If he treats his sister in such a way and you were to consider acting as a guarantor for a rental, you need to have an honest assessment of whether he will respect you/your family in terms of the consequences for you and your family if he stops rent payments or trashes the place - since ultimately you will be financially responsible in such a scenario.

Frankly, I think its time for a life lesson: if you physically attack family (involvement of Police), then the consequence is you no longer get the privilege of living with family and become homeless. Give him no notice and change the locks. If he causes issues, phone the Police and he ll get arrested - he's an adult now, no longer a child.

Have you tried getting any support from the council or social services? It's in a worse state then the NHS. 
My 7 year old attacks me due to learning disabilities and honestly, not one is remotely interested and I am told that it's his way of trying to communicate. Well duh!
If that's how they try to help someone with a young child, then I imagine the service for an adult is much worse.

I feel very sorry for the OP. It's not a choice anyone wants to make or take.