Simplifying Life

Ellidee

:grouphug: Aww Rosie sounds as though you have had a rough time but glad to hear that you are now much happier. Take care X

dND

groatie_queen wrote: »

I am an infrequent poster but subscribe to this thread - I love it! We are all on the same wavelength. Another blessing about making virtual friends is it levels the communication playing field - everyone gets their turn, everyone is heard and everyone can 'hear'! For the hearing impaired, this is of vital importance - it's impossible to take part in a conversation where everyone is talking fast/at once/there's too much background noise!

I simplified my life last year by becoming ill and had to go part-time - as I am single through divorce this was a worry to me but I've adjusted my finances and I'm happier. Still working on getting well, and hoping for more progress. I don't miss the stress of full-time work, looking back I wonder how I managed to sustain it for as long as I did.

Like everyone else here, I'm keen to de-clutter, and have designated Sunday afternons as paper de-clutter time. It's working really well. I know I'll eventually tame the paperwork, and the shredded /waste paper gets collected on Mondays, so it's not hanging around!

My life was greatly simplified by my separation and divorce. Being honest about how unhappy my marriage was and resisting the social pressure to stay put was ultimately the best gift for me and my ex-husband. He is now in a relationship with someone who he is very happy with, which is a great relief to me! Far better than two unhappy people putting up with each other but slowly dying inside..... I was prepared for the fall-out, as I instigated the change people's sympathy went to him, and I am blessed now in knowing who my true friends are:D . It's perhaps a bit extreme to describe it as a de-clutter, but that's the effect it had!!

GQ xxx

Hi GQ,

Exactly the same here and never been happier in my adult life. :j The streamlined address book is wonderful too and as you say, you find out who your true friends are. :beer:

Deborah

dND

Rosie,

Depression takes ages to get over if you ever really do get over it. My breakdown was 5 years ago. I found that apart from the panic attack/ general stress related bits which went in the first year, it was things like not being able to read a sentence and understand it that took longer. It took a couple of years before I could comfortably sit down and read a page of print.

I still have problems with remembering words and long term concentration but the tic that developed in my eye finally went over the course of last year. I still get days when I'm depressed. I might have a smile on my face because I am really happy now but for some reason the motivation is lacking. Depression and sadness are not the same thing. At least now I can recognise my down days and I have various coping strategies that make them pass without stressing me out.

I have lots of decluttering to do sometime. During the bad stages I couldn't deal with anything. Luckily I had just about everything on DD so didn't have a problem there but I just kept every bit of paperwork that came through the door. All that junk has come with me to France because there are important things like share certificates mixed in there. I just work on it gradually.

So a big <hug> to you and anyone else who's had the misfortune to go through depression. And thanks to all the kind and helpful posters on this board too, your words of encouragement can and do make all the difference some days.:A

Love to you all
Deborah

rosieben

Thanks for kind word Ellidee and dND but sorry, I didn’t mean to have a pity party. I consider myself very lucky, I’m able to walk, take care of myself and lead a normal life in many ways, although at a much slower pace!

I still get panic attacks sometimes, tend to avoid the shops at busy time and avoid almost all social events – as groatiequeen says its difficult to cope with that when you have hearing problems, I have been known to switch my aids off when it gets too much!

I hadnt thought about the levelling of the playing field online, but its very true, we’re all starting from the same point in cyberspace! And it’s great to find threads like this one where people are supportive of each other. They do make such a difference in life

juliapenguin

Can I say hello?

I've been reading this thread for ages and loving it. A breakdown starting November 2006 eventually led me to a psychiatrist who encouraged me to follow a dream and give up my boring but desperately stressful office job and go to do an MA at university, which will get me back into teaching. He also queried why I am still living so far away from my family (including my son who's 20) and friends after five years of being really isolated, and now the house is up for sale and we're looking for a cheaper, smaller house near to my loved ones and less of a financial burden.

So, I really need to pare down my possessions if they are going to fit into my new little house. My challenge is that I'm still battling depression so studying is tough, but I love going to university one whole day a week and working on my assignments at home the rest of the time. I need to come up with a plan for sorting out my stuff which will not overwhelm me (it's so emotionally draining, letting go of sentimental stuff, isn't it?)

Should I do it Flylady style, 15 minutes at a time? I'm putting off getting started, that's the problem.

Sorry for the life story. Hope you nice people can help.

Julia xx

Olliebeak

I wish I knew the secret of decluttering (as you can see from my 'signature' I'm looking for the instant answer :rotfl: ) - but I would say to start with a drawer or a cupboard at a time.

Even if you don't get rid of a huge amount, at least it will be something less hanging around the place.

Are you a member of Freecycle? Maybe some of your stuff could be useful to pass on to others, or if it's saleable you could try E-bay or your local charity shop.

Good Luck - and when you find the answer, please let me know as well !

Ollie

rosieben

Hi Julia, Welcome to the thread.

Yes, I did the flylady 15 min tasks system and it worked for me. I find that on most bad days I can still do a 10 or 15 minute session, and over time it will make a real difference.

I dont follow flylady to the letter, but I've found that shining the sink at night (for me thats tidying the sink area, washing and drying the dishes) and a swish and swipe of the bathroom each morning make me feel that I'm achieving something

you could decide which area would make the most difference if you decluttered it - maybe bookshelves, your clothes, kitchen cupboards - and thats the place to start; when you see progress in that area it will spur you on to tackle something else.

And well done you for returning to your studies, thats a very positive thing to be doing after your breakdown :T

mary43

Been really interesting to see how peoples different experiences have changed their outlook on life..............I've been through my fair share of death, divorce, failed business venture etc. and its a real eye opener to what the important things in life really are.
Whatever our experiences we have obviously all learned a lot from them and go on learning...........part of lifes pattern ........and if we can help each other out in the meantime well, thats all to the good.

As for simplifying ? Well, today, got rid of two charity bags -door collection so no journey to the shops and made a load more cards, including Mums day card for MIL, So I might not be de-cluttering at the minute but I'm getting well ahead of myself............soon be starting on Christmas cards..........lol:T

ceridwen

groatie_queen wrote: »

I am an infrequent poster but subscribe to this thread - I love it! We are all on the same wavelength. Another blessing about making virtual friends is it levels the communication playing field - everyone gets their turn, everyone is heard and everyone can 'hear'! For the hearing impaired, this is of vital importance - it's impossible to take part in a conversation where everyone is talking fast/at once/there's too much background noise!


My life was greatly simplified by my separation and divorce. Being honest about how unhappy my marriage was and resisting the social pressure to stay put was ultimately the best gift for me and my ex-husband. He is now in a relationship with someone who he is very happy with, which is a great relief to me! Far better than two unhappy people putting up with each other but slowly dying inside..... I was prepared for the fall-out, as I instigated the change people's sympathy went to him, and I am blessed now in knowing who my true friends are:D . It's perhaps a bit extreme to describe it as a de-clutter, but that's the effect it had!!

GQ xxx

Well ...I must admit I'd never thought of it being easier to "hold a conversation" if one is hearing-impaired via the medium of the Internet....but it is a very good point.

As for where peoples sympathies lie on the breakup of marriage - well, personally I just noted your comment about your husband being very happy with someone else - and thought "thats a very generous attitude to take" - also very realistic to try to maintain such an attitude - it hopefully avoids those horribly acrimonious divorces one often comes across - well at least it lessens the chance shall we say anyway....

ceridwen

lilac_lady wrote: »

BTW, this is a nice forum and I enjoy reading it. Some of the others are a bit crabby to say the least.

....well everyone else on this Forum is nice...and I'm working on it...lol

This Board does rather disprove the comments one reads about "get a group of women together and it will be !!!!!y"......well....most of us are women and this Forum has the best "atmosphere" by far on this website.