Simplifying Life

mary43

Thanks ceridwen and ellidee

I know there's nothing wrong in being emotional.........I have feelings for all things (not all good though I have to add.......lol) but feelings none the less.I hug someone who needs a hug and an ear is always available.
I can appreciate 'how the other half live' as it were........the homeless, those without jobs and families...............sadly for him, big bruv can't. In his book its all of their own making and they should shake themselves up and get on with things. Oh if it life were so easy ...........Cocooned in comfort he's lacked the ability to 'see' let alone understand or care. I've tried to explain all this to him but just get shouted down as talking rubbish so I've given up now.

I count my blessings daily and my word there are many.............:A
I wonder............does he count his or just assume they are there ?

Sorry for rant over big bruv but he really makes me mad :mad:

Feel much much better now..............have sent him quote ceridwen - he'll probably not understand and think I've totally lost the plot...........lol

ceridwen

mary

Well maybe bigbruv will think you've lost the plot as you put it - but then - well - you've done what you can. Sometimes we have to think "I've done what I can.....and now I must step back".

champys

mary43 wrote: »

I am me, I like me, I'm happy being me, I like my lifestyle,I love my friends and the (sometimes ) very troublesome kids we care for and seeing them turn their lives around and I get a kind of thrill out of seeing the smile on someones face if something I've said or done has made them feel better.
To me that's wealth enough

mary43 you are a star! you've summed it up, and it is a great statement. what a fantastic place the world would be if everyone could think like you. You are giving as good an example as Khalil Gibran et al..... :-)

do_it_today!

Oh Mary43 dont worry about BB...... you cant change him he cant change you at least he is not in your face everyday not enough time to allocate energy getting wound up about him (now if only I could take my own advice about other people!!!)

Hi Everyone :hello:
be happy everyone
and if you cant be happy ... be relaxed
and if thats proving difficult than just focus on being grateful and warm

:j

Aril

Hello virtual friends:j
I am having a lovely day today because the small person is back...complete with a bag full of dirty washing and non stop chatter with all the tales he has to tell. I decided to tease him last night and ask him if there was a disco there whilst he'd there [it was a PGL camp] and if he'd danced with a gel [girl but that's how he pronounces it....he rolled his eyes at me said yes there had been but he'd stayed upstairs with his friends colouring. That's my boy:rotfl::rotfl:
Anyway today's contribution is about children
Beautiful Child
I get in the way-so you say-
I get under your feet. I get up your nose. I'm so nice when I'm asleep.
But here I am now, wide awake and tied to you. I want you to carry me when you walk, to sit upon your lap when you talk.
I want you to notice me, "give me your full face".
I need you. And no I won't ever stop unless you shame me, hurt me, terrify me or do something else to check me.
I copy you, everything you do. I adore you-you are my God. I trust you.
You must be right however, you treat me.
I want to help. I break something. I lose something else. I make a mess.
I care for you. Maybe you're afraid of the dark like me.
I squeeze in between the two of you. I keep you awake when you want to sleep.
I don't understand your headaches, your bad moods, your sarcasm...
I interrupt your meditation, your concentration of your linear world.
When you want me to go fast - put my leg through the hole-my foot in the shoe-
I go slow so I get more of you.
And when you want space of your own, I'm always ready to fill it. I want to hang on you, cosy up to you, to hit you, bite you and kiss you, to look at your face and play with your hair.
I want you
Push me away and I hold on tighter. I cling to you. I won't play, I won't explore, maybe I'll lose you more. [And perhaps one day when you want me near you I'll be gone].
But for now, if I don't get you I'll be sad, I'll be angry and if you won't allow my sadness and anger my play will freeze, my joy will shrivel, my feelings will numb.
And my sadness and anger will go deep to emerge later as a compulsion. If you keep me apart from you a part of me will die.
I mirror your pain and your joy and your hate-
I dance in your joy and survive your pain; like an oyster I keep the sand of it out of even my own sight.
Though I may try I cannot be your Dad. I cannot be your pain for you. I can only survive it at any cost.
I'm a child
A beautiful wonderful, wonderous child. A blessing for you from above.
If you let me I'll teach you wonder.
If, if you but let me I'll teach you innocence, how to dance and jump for joy, how to be alive in the moment, how to laugh, to sing , to cry and to be angry.
I'll teach you how to reclaim your inner child.
I'm not a tease, I'm not a pain. I'm not a brat. I'm not stupid. I'm not ugly. I'm not fat. I'm not an animal, I'm not sexy, I'm not Maya.
I'm just a child
a beautiful, wonderful, wonderous child and anything else you may think about me is all yours.
Robert Housden, May 1995.
Aril

mary43

aril - beautiful posting as ever. Almost brought tears to my eyes -in a nice way if you know what I mean.

do it today - you're right of course. Why get wound up about anyone - but a lifetime of being the object of ridicule takes its toll and as you say..to ignore it is easier said than done. But today..........I feel tons better

ceridwen - having got big bruv out of my system (for now) I don't really care what he thinks..........and thats how I'd like it to stay........here's hoping.

champys - thanks but I'm not a star, honest. Just someone who happens to care and to me that comes as being perfectly normal.

Thankyou all for your support...........definitely makes me feel a lot better and confirms what I believe about myself:j

Oops.........nearly forgot to mention......with a clearer head today.....have ploughed through a load of paperwork this morning.........some of Mums, some of ours........a step nearer to a bit of simplifying.................if only I could do as I said I would and deal with paperwork the day it arrives and not let it pile up.

ceridwen

Well - mary - I personally am picking up the impression that you are getting "stronger" and more self-accepting. Well - that sounds like its all to the good to me.

As for me - or my father to be more precise - well: its still wait and see how things go. He is losing his appetite, is very tired of himself and is planning to give his tools away now. I have said "Thank you for being my father" and that I know he has always tried to be a good father to me and requested that - come the time - he tries, if he can, to let me know that he is alright. Thats it for now - and I wait to see how things go. It could be hours, it could be years - who knows?

mary43

ceridwen - youre right............I do feel stronger..........well today anyway. Have my up and down days. Sometimes I can feel very positive and others not so. Still, at least I think I.m begining to recognise many of the issues that sit like a sack of potatos on my shoulders...............bit by bit, I'll get rid.

I do feel for you and the situation with your father. It's so similar to my me and my mother. I've said all the words I could possibly say, both verbally and written in the letter I send every week. Mum has never returned these -but she's never been demonstrative in any way. Course I take it personally sometimes which is daft I know and I could smack myself for it.
We were told last year we'd be lucky if she was here at Christmas.........but she hangs on and on, sleeping most of the time but could go on for months like this. I pray not years for her sake.
These situations give us a huge jolt about our own mortality..........and that can be a hard one to deal with.
Bless your dad x

Becky_2

Hi Mary 43!

I felt very touched when I read about you and your brother and why you feel so emotional. I have battled the same "issue" for many years as well and always been seen by my family as the "weak one" who should be much stronger and get on with life (i.e. not being so emotional). I have now accepted the way I am and my previous counsellor said that it's me who is strong who dares to deal with things rather than to pretend that everything is perfect. I now feel really happy to be me and would not like to be anybody else. I am glad that you are happy to be you. That's the way to be!

In the current issue (March) of the Psychologies magazine there is a dossier about healing your past to be done over 10 days. I am now on my 3rd day and I feel that this exercise is really useful and I have bought myself a notebook to write down my thoughts as a permanent record and to continue to use in the future. If anyone is interested to buy this issue then hurry up, the new issue comes out on the 12/3.

All the best.

Becky

mary43 wrote: »

ceridwen - I hope so..............well I'm trying anyway.
Love the quote.............might be just the one to send to my brother (wealth -two places in Spain, no worries etc.)
He can't fathom out why my life isn't parallel to his .........why I don't have money, a place in the sun and why I get so emotional about things. How do you explain to someone like that, that it's not what I want to be. I don't like the cold weather but I like the changing seasons, the colours on the trees in the autumn, money is only as important as we make it. We all need enough to feed and clothe ourselves, keep the roof over our head etc but how much does 'enough' need to be ?
Poor old big bruv.............he doesn't understand why I need to see a counsellor and thinks I should listen to his 'words of wisdom' ...........then maybe I could be like him ?????? .............I think not ! Despite the tears and the way I've been feeling of late I am me, I like me, I'm happy being me, I like my lifestyle,I love my friends and the (sometimes ) very troublesome kids we care for and seeing them turn their lives around and I get a kind of thrill out of seeing the smile on someones face if something I've said or done has made them feel better.
To me that's wealth enough. Not sure Big Bruv would understand that.
And as for his 'words of wisdom' - think I'll pass on that one.......

mary43

Thanks Becky. Glad I'm not the only one in this kind of situation though obvously I wouldn't wish it on anyone else. The magazine looks interesting. Where would I get this from ? I live in a small market town and the shops are limited to what they stock.Maybe I could get it on-line ?
Anything that might help I'd be glad for.
This thread has been amazing for me and everyone is so supportive........its helped so much with my sort of 'spring clean' of emotions/feelings/thoughts etc. that I don't want to hold on to. I'm getting there but its a step by step job.
Good luck Becky x