Advice MIL died without leaving a will

Sea_Shell

Oh I agree, I worry the money is gone!! ☹️

However, making an offer to negate their argument, could bring it to a head quicker, one way or another.

Spendless

paul2louise said:

thriftytwosome said:

"My brother’s household finances are very strong- he doesn’t need the money." 

This comment in the reply is a bit worrying, it looks as though she is trying to justify something.

Yes my husband is ok financially while he is working but he is 60 and wants to retire. I only work part time and we stil have some to look after. She has always been skint and paying off loans. MIL was always gifting her money to pay debt off. Do we start getting petty about that. Giving her petrol money if she ever visited. Flugelhorn said:

thriftytwosome said:

"My brother’s household finances are very strong- he doesn’t need the money." 

This comment in the reply is a bit worrying, it looks as though she is trying to justify something.

agree - once they get into the "someone doesn't NEED the money" it means they are up to something.

honestly the letter is a load of tosh - contents are £500 at the most . correspondence with Frankie Howard? a few £££ maybe. candlesticks? definitely less than she paid for them

We both laughed about the Frankie Howard's letter. She is delusional. There was no left over food. SIL didn't seemed concerned about anything when we cleared her bungalow apart from filling her van with as much stuff as she could get in it. The candle sticks are a joke. OH says she has that much crap in her house that all these missing things are probably in a box she has never opened in her cluttered house. But if she was so worried about them why wait 3 years to ask about them. 

Unfortunately that bit I've bolded has just waved more red flags at me, though I truly hope I'm wrong. Let your DH talk to his solicitor but ask if it's worth adding up all this nonsense into a nominal sum and halving and just telling her to knock £500/£1k whatever off to force her to reveal her actual hand.  

poppystar

Did SIL actually declare any gifts given in the last 7 years when doing the paperwork for the estate. If not then OP has a counter claim they can make if they have proof of the gift. In fact there is more likely to be proof of a money gift than of any letter from a celebrity or any candlesticks! 

paul2louise

poppystar said:

Did SIL actually declare any gifts given in the last 7 years when doing the paperwork for the estate. If not then OP has a counter claim they can make if they have proof of the gift. In fact there is more likely to be proof of a money gift than of any letter from a celebrity or any candlesticks! 

SIL cleared the house and bungalow of things she wanted. She had jewellery, royal daltan set, Wedgewood dinner sets, furniture that she took for her kids. She actively sells on eBay and financially lives off her ex husband's pension. So all the things she is accusing us of she definitely does herself. Her house is full of clutter. Stuff everywhere so surprised she even knows what she has or doesn't have. But if she was so bothered about these things why wait 3 years to ask about it. Why wait till a solicitor is involved. She paid an accountant in the early days to sort out estate but no material items were mentioned back then. Oh and another thing she seems to have forgotten is that my husband paid over 4k for the funeral which she can't remember about. Yet she can remember letters from Frankie Howard. I honestly don't know how my hub stays so calm about it because it makes me feel such contempt for her an everything about her. 

Spendless

paul2louise said:

poppystar said:

Did SIL actually declare any gifts given in the last 7 years when doing the paperwork for the estate. If not then OP has a counter claim they can make if they have proof of the gift. In fact there is more likely to be proof of a money gift than of any letter from a celebrity or any candlesticks! 

SIL cleared the house and bungalow of things she wanted. She had jewellery, royal daltan set, Wedgewood dinner sets, furniture that she took for her kids. She actively sells on eBay and financially lives off her ex husband's pension. So all the things she is accusing us of she definitely does herself. Her house is full of clutter. Stuff everywhere so surprised she even knows what she has or doesn't have. But if she was so bothered about these things why wait 3 years to ask about it. Why wait till a solicitor is involved. She paid an accountant in the early days to sort out estate but no material items were mentioned back then. Oh and another thing she seems to have forgotten is that my husband paid over 4k for the funeral which she can't remember about. Yet she can remember letters from Frankie Howard. I honestly don't know how my hub stays so calm about it because it makes me feel such contempt for her an everything about her. 

The funeral bill should have come from your MIL's estate. If there wasn't any money in bank accounts to pay for it, and only the property when sold then your husband needs reimbursing  for this cost. Do you still have the receipts showing this or can you get copies from the FD? This could be where you counteract SIL with her tales of silver candlesticks, Frankie Howard signatures, coin collections and give the figures where he owes nothing due to having already paid over £4K which should have come from the estate. He needs to tell his solicitor he paid the funeral costs.   

Sea_Shell

All else aside, she should be settling that funeral bill out of the estate asap.   Have you sent a copy of the invoice, and specifically requested reimbursement?

If she won't even stump up the £4k to reimburse this, then that's another red flag.

tetrarch

paul2louise said

Oh and another thing she seems to have forgotten is that my husband paid over 4k for the funeral which she can't remember about. 

OMG - It gets worse. This plays right into the "full and fair accounting" that she appears to be so insistent upon. She doesn't get a choice re reimbursement, this is an outright estate debt. This one goes straight back to your solicitor with a "thank you for the reminder, here's the invoice"

Regards

Tet

Flugelhorn

tetrarch said:

paul2louise said

Oh and another thing she seems to have forgotten is that my husband paid over 4k for the funeral which she can't remember about. 

OMG - It gets worse. This plays right into the "full and fair accounting" that she appears to be so insistent upon. She doesn't get a choice re reimbursement, this is an outright estate debt. This one goes straight back to your solicitor with a "thank you for the reminder, here's the invoice"

Regards

Tet

absolutely - dig out invoice / receipt and let solicitor know ASAP - this debt to the estate comes before everything else

paul2louise

OH has told solicitor about funeral costs and I am pretty sure that funeral costs are listed on the estate costs. He has emailed solicitor to request proof of funds in the estate. He has a draft reply which he is going to send later with his comments on her email 

Skiddaw1

I just love the Frankie Howard bit!!!

OP, it's pants that you and Mr OP are having to cope with this but once it's all over (and it will be eventually) you can dine out on the sorry tale forevermore....