MeandO's money-shuffling

MeandO

Morning all,

I’m expecting a delivery this morning so have been up and dressed early and am sat watching the rain with a cuppa.
I ordered a wardrobe for DS’s room a couple of months ago and it’s been plagued with delays. I told the company I want a refund if it’s not here today (was promised it would arrive yesterday) and miraculously they’ve sorted a pre noon Saturday delivery. We’ll wait and see what, if anything, arrives.

I had a lovely day yesterday. DS and I closed all the blinds in the lounge and watched a film together on the sofa in the afternoon, just like rainy days when he was smaller. I even got numerous hugs. 💙❤️ As I expected, he didn’t want to go to his Dad’s, so I was glad I had the foresight to leave the chicken in the fridge rather than freezing it as I was able to make him some food in the evening, of which he ate every last morsel! OH and I had food at his whilst DS was out at training for an hour. OH wasn’t feeling 100% so I think he was glad not to have to leave his house and was planning an early night.

I picked what is likely to be the last of the tomatoes in the garden yesterday. I grew various types from little yellow cherry tomatoes to some plum tomatoes that my Dad gave me and I’ve been enjoying them all summer. All of the plants were either in the reduced section of a local shop or gifted to me by my Dad, so I’ve been very lucky. I’ve also got cooked apple, pear and blackberries in my freezer for the winter. The first two were earlies that had fallen from my Parents’ trees and the latter came from the overgrown brambles next door to me.

OH sent me the money owed last night so that’s been paid off the CC to clear it. There may be £12 to pay off there too but I’m just waiting for the balance to update to see if that’s correct or if it’s a duplicate pending transaction from the grocery delivery.

I can hear DS moving about so I’m off to get us some breakfast. Have a lovely Saturday all xx

Fabulous50

Please don't beat yourself up over the debt. It's only money in the grand scheme of things, and it all works out in the end, albeit with a few bumps in the road. You have everything you need right now to live a wonderful life.

You are ridiculously organised, practical, hard working and I am in awe of your resourcefulness!

Sending big cwtches to a lovely lovely mam x

Newstartforme

Well done Meando on sounding more like your old self . I truly think you don't give yourself enough credit for how well you do ! Your poor boy though , positives and negatives attached to seeing ex for what he is really like . So glad you had a nice time with your family xx

MeandO

Thank you for your kind words Fabulous@50 and Newstartforme, cwtches right back at ya'! I don't feel like I do particularly well at anything really but I am very grateful for what I have in life. I know we are luckier than a lot of people.

I looked at the new mortgage interest this morning though and could have cried, but there's little I can do about it for now. I'll start overpaying that again as soon as I physically can, but it's likely to be next year now.

The wardrobe for DS's room did indeed turn up at the weekend as promised so I gradually built that over the following couple of days. DS helped me put it in place and move his bedroom around and he's enjoyed re-organising his space and having a big clear out of clothes and bits he no longer wants. The resulting pile of clothes for vinted is now huge so I have work to do listing those over the next few months! It means more clutter in my office/box room temporarily but it will go eventually.
I listed one pair of trainers last night which went within an hour, so DS will have £40 towards other things from those when the money clears. I also reduced a dress I had put on there some time ago and it sold the same evening, making £5 towards the CC debt. Both parcels are wrapped and ready to go today.
I've advertised a bag of too small school uniform on the local free fb page which should be collected tonight, so that's another bag cleared and will help someone else save some £'s.

We just need to re-paint a small area of the wall in DS's room for which I already have the paint and then it will all be done for him.

DS went to his father's for a couple of nights over the long weekend but it didn't go that well and I'm not sure if he will return. He also turned out LOADS of belongings there, mostly stuff which should have been sorted years ago as was from when he was 4+. I took a car load to a donation centre yesterday and the rest I will list for him. One item may have sold on FB already if it is collected as promised today and will make him £50, so that's a plus for him.

He was trying to get help from his dad to redecorate and make his room nicer over there but 'Help' didn't happen. DS video called me to ask my advice on how to make things better and I was shocked and upset to see how he had been living over there. The room needs professional attention. It's a small room, but the window has never been sealed so there's black mould all around it; huge cracks go around the whole edge of the walls (which looks structural to me); he has no curtain or blind up to the window, the carpet is marked and filthy and there was a metal bracket from a broken floating shelf sticking out of the wall at eye level which has apparently been there for over a year. DS could have been seriously injured by it, especially considering the room is so small. I advised DS how to remove it over videocall as his Dad didn't want to know. The walls are marked and paint is peeling off them. I was so upset, I had no idea it was this bad. When I saw the ex briefly I told him he had to get it sorted and I don't know how he could have let DS live like that. Apparently he was in a foul mood afterwards. I'm sure the gf's kids don't live like that over there, it broke my heart. I've told DS he doesn't have to go back if he doesn't want to.

Ironically, the ex's child maintenance payments are about to reduce by £40 per month too. The man has no shame and no idea how to raise a child or care for someone more than you care about yourself. Anyway, I won't let him tar my day for one more moment.

We've just had news of backdated pay from April of this year, so should get a bit extra in this month's pay. I was hoping to send the whole of it to the holiday fund but then remembered that back pay one month means I won't be entitled to UC the next, so I will need to take that out of it to get through October. Any remaining will certainly start chipping away at the holiday cost.

Today DS has a haircut (he pays), and I need to pick up milk from the supermarket and post the two parcels. I may come home and have a sit down with a coffee then as I've been in agony with my condition over the weekend and am in a lot of pain today too. I feel like I need a rest. Oh, just remembered there's ironing to do… :(

Tea is sorted for DS, although I need to find some recipes in which I can cook and batch freeze steak. My family kindly bought DS some lovely steaks from their butcher, but they froze them all together and not even a hammer and knife would split them last night so I have had to defrost all 4 at once.

Happy Tuesday all x

foxgloves

Oh, your ex really is a piece of work. Where's any sense of some self-respect, letting his son stay in a mouldy neglected room. I'm not surprised your son is now starting to see the true picture.

Mrs_Money_Penny

Your poor son and you hearing how he’s been treated. x

MeandO

Yes, he really is a selfish piece of work. DS has told me that the ex now responds to every argument or criticism with tears and trying to make DS feel guilty. 🙄 I see he's resorted to his sister's tactic of trying to play the victim as that's what she used to do every time she didn't get her own way or couldn't argue her way out of a situation. No doubt the ex is spinning some 'woe-is-me, look how awful I'm being treated' tale to his GF and her family as usual. Horrible narc family I'm so glad to be out of, I just feel for DS being related to them.
It's no surprise to say DS doesn't want to go back to his Dad's tonight as he normally does, so he's staying here.

Anyway, enough talk about the ex-cuse of a man…

It was my friend's birthday yesterday and she popped over for a cuppa and a catch up which was lovely. She's on her own with three girls and has similar ex-issues and a not very supportive family, so I made her a birthday cake to take back and share/blow candles out with her girls. She wouldn't have had one otherwise and kids get upset about these things don't they. :( I had bought a card a while ago and had been picking up little things for her birthday over the past year when I see them on offer, so sent her back with some gifts and a cake to have a 'party' with her girls.

I anticipated DS being starving when he walked through the door yesterday after his first day back at school, so made a huge pain of garlic & honey chicken noodles which went down a treat. :) There's a portion left to go in the freezer too, joining the boxes of creamy garlic steak pasta I made with the defrosted steak on Tuesday. The freezer is well stocked presently!

I'm really annoyed with vinted. I spent two hours photographing and listing around half of the items of DS's to sell last night, only for them to permanently ban my account for 'scamming.' 🤬I listed some football shirts of DS's that he has grown out of, including the labels, loads of photographs etc - everything they ask for to prove items are genuine - but the AI bot of vinted has decided they're fake. They're obviously not, and cost a fortune from sports stores when bought new for Christmas and birthday gifts. We even bought one or two from the on-site shop at said football stadium when I took him for a tour! I've challenged their decision with copies of receipts from the original purchases I still had on my email, but I can imagine their AI isn't 'I' enough to see sense from what a lot of people have been saying online about vinted lately. I'm really gutted as that's an income source gone now and I'm panicking about raising funds to pay everything off now. There's £45 pending in there too so I hope I can still withdraw that or surely it's theft if not?!
I had a moment last night and a few secret tears away from DS. I'm feeling really overwhelmed at the thought of affording everything moving forward. There is so little money left over every month now.

I've not been feeling well with some sort of vertigo or dizziness when I move my head a certain way too. I had to go and lie down early last night so I'm sure that's not helping at the moment.

I've just heard the second load of washing stop, so will check the weather and see if I can trust it to hang out on the line. If not it will be the TD unfortunately.

debtfreewannabe321

Firstly your ex sounds like mine. 🤬☹️ 'nuff said. ☹️

And secondly I have pulled out my £120+ in my vinted after reading of a similar issue with them banning people and not being able to withdraw money. So I put it in my account instead in a pot. And I withdraw as soon as any becomes available now. I hope they lift the ban though so you can at least pull the money out you have in there!

ArtyJ931

.It's hard work being the 'sane' parent - it is relentless. But you are doing it. You are managing. You're providing everything he needs. Well done :)

enthusiasticsaver

Sounds like you have a lot on your plate and sorry about your Dad. Good you got to spend some time with your parents and lovely of them to treat you to steaks etc. Also sounds like your DS got to see what a piece of work your ex is and I would not be sending him to live in a house with mould in the room.

Give yourself a break about the mortgage increase. You have done a lot of OPs over the last few years and hopefully when money is less tight you can do that again. I also hope your health condition improves soon.