MeandO's money-shuffling

MeandO

Thank you DFW321, Smudgeismydog, Mrs_Money_Penny and Newstartforme. Your kindness, wise words and sharing your experiences have made a big difference to this 'internet stranger' this week. You've really helped me and for that I'm so grateful. I don't have many people I can talk to about this in RL and so feel very alone in dealing with it day to day. 

What lovely words your son said, @Smudgeismydog. I hope the closeness with my son will come back in the same way as he grows. It feels like I'm having a limb slowly ripped off daily at the moment. Saying that, he opted to go to sleep in my bed one night this week, something he hasn't done for a very long time and which took me by surprise. I got very little sleep from him talking in his sleep and flinging his limbs around, but I was happy to take it.

I think I'm coming down with the lurgy. DS was coughing yesterday and I now have cold symptoms so am dosing up on the cold & flu meds. I'm hoping it's not the dreaded covid as it seems rife here presently.

Two loads of washing are done and on the line despite it being grey and cold out. The weather forecast is promising me sunny spells this afternoon so that's what I'm waiting for...
I've dragged the dehumidifier out this morning from under my desk where it's lived all summer. I opened all of DS's drawers and ran it in his room for a couple of hours, then the upstairs landing and now it's on downstairs. The house feels warmer as a result and it's collected quite a bit of water, so I'll keep up with that a few times a week now we're into the dreaded 'window condensation daily' season.

Inspired by DFW321's diary, (thank you!) I consulted my Christmas shopping list last night and bought quite a lot of Christmas presents after finding them at good prices. I used an offer for around £40 off of some posh smellies for DS and OH and also went through TCB which has tracked for £18. It was such a good deal that I also bought a gift set for DS's birthday which is less than two months after Christmas and a couple of small perfumes for family members or a friend I buy for. I also purchased a couple of clothing items and quite a few stocking fillers for DS, such as socks, skin stuff he likes, cheap wireless earphones (as he always loses one from the pair!) and a couple of books for OH, one of which I will give to my parents to give to him. I also bought a couple of things for my parents, token gifts for OH's parents and a little something for the one 'aunty' (who's not really my aunt, but as good as) that I buy for.

OH and I would like to stop buying for some of the 'children' (one 17, one 20) in OH's family as we never see them/hear from them and I feel they're basically adults now and OH doesn't have a close relationship with them. Their Mum kindly gives my DS a gift but he doesn't even know them, probably met them 3 or 4 times, so I feel it's all a bit unnecessary and done out of a feeling of obligation. However, OH's family relations have not been good this past year and he has got the brunt of it. I can see he is taken for granted by his parents and not treated in the same manner as his siblings which really upsets him. He says it has always been like this and he has always felt 3rd best which makes me sad for him as he has always tried to help his parents and loves them dearly. They all usually go to the parents at Christmas for a big family dinner and spend the day together but they never even invite OH, let alone me and DS, that's how messed up it is. So, if we do stop buying for the 'kids' I know it will come back on OH and probably even me as we live very close by to the family and it may be hard to avoid the negative disapproval that is sure to follow. Urgh, why are families so difficult?!

I don't think I've mentioned it on here, but I made the decision to withdraw from OH's family over the past few months. I have always done quite a lot for his parents - organised house repairs, builders, fetched shopping, cooked for them, taken them out/on breaks, sorted utilities etc., untiI had a text message from one of his siblings one night to the effect of 'why are you getting involved, what's it got to do with you, (my OH) should be sorting it' when trying to help organise something for his parents that had been dumped on us as the siblings didn't want to do it. I was trying to help as OH was at work and I was free, but was more or less told that I'm not part of the family (until my skillset is useful to one of them), so I won't be bending over backwards for them anymore. OH was mortified that his sis spoke to me like that. I lived through this passive-aggressive manipulation from siblings in-law in my past life when I was married and am not participating a second time around. I'm most disappointed in OH's mother whom I had a really good relationship with but has said nothing and done nothing to make me feel like I am actually still part of the family, and has cold-shouldered me since, so they can all get on with it. Not my circus, not my monkeys, as the saying goes.

Anyway, lots more Christmas gifts are sorted, I just need to find some wrapping paper now and space to store everything! I might actually seal things in a plastic tub and put them inside the attic until Christmas as I have no room elsewhere.  
The money for all the above gifts has been taken from my gifts pot so all is covered and paid for, which is a nice feeling.

In other money saving news, my complaint to 'ono' has been closed and a £25 'gesture' will be sent. I'm just happy to be on a lower tariff now but the gesture is welcomed. 

OH is cooking for me tonight - some comfort food - I can't wait! I'm looking forward to a hot meal I don't have to cook, maybe a bath and PJ's on early and a night of sitting in front of the TV. I may even go wild and put the heating on for half an hour if it's chilly, just to spoil us!

There's still no sign of the sun making an appearance... I have little hope of not having to use the TD later.

MeandO

Hello moneysavers x 

Monday has rolled around again, I'm not a fan of them. 

Work feels like walking through treacle at the moment but it pays the bills so I mustn't complain. It's payday on Friday and the budget is running on empty so I am counting the days. I'm trying not to spend anything this week but needed more cold & flu medicine and throat sweets as DS isn't feeling great and has spread his lurgies to me and OH too. I also bought covid tests, but was ripped off for the second time by the same pharmacy as she told me it was £8 odd for a box of 10, but when I got home I saw it was a box of 5. Last time I bought some they sold me a box of 10 that were out of date within a week and they ended up being thrown away. I tried to buy some in HB but they were all sold out which suggests how rampant it is here at the moment. We've both tested negative today so that's something.

Yesterday I tried to make the most of the half price electricity with BG, so between 11am-4pm two loads of washing were done, the dryer was on as it was pouring down, I baked cakes for DS for the week, the dishwasher was put on twice, I cooked a chicken curry in the slow cooker and OH charged a few things that needed charging. I can't do the same next week as we will hopefully be at my parents' house for a few days.

I have received 3 of the 4 refunds I was expecting, still waiting on 'ono' to refund the balance I had built up on my energy account. I've also listed several items on fleabay and v!nted, a few of which have sold already making around £40. £12.50 of that is DS's though so will transfer that to his account.

Not much else to report, other than the shock of the cost of a stamp for a large letter now... £3.15!!!! The card only cost me £1.49 so nearly £5 in total just to buy and post a celebration card with the postage being more than double the price of the card. I think that's just shocking!

MeandO

Two more vinted sales made today making another £20.50. All are wrapped and ready to post tomorrow. 

DS had a prawn & noodle stir fry for tea, I just had some plain noodles as I’m not feeling like eating much with this lurgy. I feel slightly sick, constantly. I’ve taken some chicken thighs out of the freezer for tomorrow and I need to find some inspiration to make something other with them than the usual curry/risotto/casserole as I’m getting really bored of making the same meals. Any suggestions or culinary inspiration would be great fully received! I seem to have loads of chicken thighs in the freezer, several loaves of sourdough (all bought as YS bargains), a pack of turkey mince, a pack of prawn and two giant pavlovas. Other than that, there’s not a lot else left! I will need to stock the freezers up again this coming month and I need to plan a bit more variety in our meals I think. I cook from scratch every day for DS, but find it hard to keep finding new recipe ideas. 

I was hoping not to spend any more money this week but we’re almost out of milk already and will definitely need more eggs. DS has also nearly eaten all of the bakes I made yesterday already.  They were meant to last him most of the week! If I can find some reasonably priced dark chocolate (is there such a thing?) I will bake some more to last the week as I have all the other ingredients in. It’s still cheaper than buying the shop made alternative and much nicer. I have around £12 in my purse so I’m hoping that will cover everything. 

His school dinner money account was also really low so I’ve had to top that up early - I usually do it every pay day. I think I’m going to have to increase the budget for that by £10 a month too as £60 just isn’t lasting a month when it’s a full month with no holidays. School dinners are not cheap by any means. 

MeandO

Another vinted sale overnight for £10. The rest have all been posted this morning. This one's a bit bulky so I'll need to wrap that and send it later today.

There's a chicken, sweet potato and coconut curry in the slow cooker for tonight, looks like it will make a large batch so I'll see if OH would like some. He's hurt his back again and is feeling rough with this cold too. If not, I'll portion it up for the freezer.

I've started a shopping list which I'm going to order for delivery for when we get back from my parents' in just over a week's time. I have one more voucher left for £10 off my shop so will utilise that. Today I'll need to pick up milk, eggs and dark chocolate for baking and that should be it.

The 'ono' refund has hit my bank account, there should also be a £25 'goodwill' payment arriving soon. Unfortunately all of the refund has gone towards paying the credit card off as there was a £291.42 balance on it from Christmas/birthday gift shopping. I have the funds in the gifts pot to cover it but it's simpler to just use this money to pay it off. £23.37 of the vinted money will go towards this CC payment leaving me with just over £35 to stash to the savings, but I may need to use it towards covering everything in next month's budget as the UC was down due to my pay rise, which I didn't really say anything of!

Newstartforme

Hi Meando , you have had a busy few days and all the while not feeling too good . I agree covid is rife at the moment and I have had people say to me they have felt a bit sick with it , in Scotland the tests are mostly a pound each so you really were ripped off . Your meals sound delicious already but I wonder if your son might like chicken shawarma , you can bulk it out with salad , dips grated cheese , breads etc . For the baking you will get away with the cheapest dark chocolate,  though goodness knows what price that will be . Chocolate and meat are the things I am seeing the biggest rises on at the supermarket.  Hope you all feel a bit better soon xx

debtfreewannabe321

L1dl do a dark choc for baking. We've used it a few times for treats for kids they especially like rocky road. Glad your refund came through ☺️.
I spent similar on ds1 birthday card and the card was sent first class and took a week to arrive 🤦🏻‍♀️. Rubbish.

Honeysucklelou2

Caught up on your diary MeandO…well done on getting your mortgage under 50k. What an achievement! Your determination on this has inspired me.

Sorry to read about the tricky times with your DS.  I do sympathise…my boys have come through the other side but my DD2 hasn’t. She still idolises her dad even though his behaviour and lack of responsibility has been shocking over the years.  Deep down your DS will know that you are there for him and always have been. 

Hope you have a good half term with DS.

MeandO

Thank you for the kind words, suggestions and encouragement, everyone. X

It’s been a little while since I last posted so I’ll do a quick round up, some positive, some negative..

Pay day occured and money was shuffled to the various pots as per the normal routine. Most pots are looking relatively healthy but the car pot will take a large hit when the car insurance is due next month.

DS’s new (flippin’ expensive - don’t ask how much, but at least he’ll wear it) coat was covered by the uniform/clothes pot with £200+ left in there and £100 added per month.

I’ve listed and sold a few more items on vinted, including DS’s old coat which went for £45, so that’s all helped boost the pots and pay for various things.

DS had another injury, this time at school, trapping his finger in a door in a rush to leave at the end of the day. Another broken finger. What can I say?!

My darling Mum was hospitalised after a bad fall. Considering how bad it was, she got away lightly with the injuries she sustained. She’s healing now, thankfully. DS and I were there just afterwards for a few days so spent a lot of time caring for my parents and cooking/cleaning through. 

DS and I have had a few ups and downs, but more ups which I’m thankful for. I have been making a huge effort to stay relaxed, to pick my battles and to give him ‘grace and space’ and it has really improved our home life this past week. We have also been working upon changing furniture around in both his room and what was the play room but is massively underused. Doing so has created a lovely ‘chill out’ space for him in his room which he is loving and I am now using the other room to read and relax in. The only issue is that the cheap little ‘temporary’ sofa I bought 6 years ago is so uncomfortable. After much deliberating and research, I have ordered a new ‘proper’ sofa so we can be comfortable in this room too. It will also be big enough to make this room a functioning lounge when I have friends over as currently they tend to perch in between the kitchen and main lounge as the space and seating is limited. I’m so excited, but feel guilty for spending money on something that is a want rather than a need. It will improve how we live in this house though which feels important at the moment. 

I have the money to pay it off (it’s under £500), but have put it on the credit card for now as it’s 0%. 

I have also been searching for a cupboard to fit in the alcove in the same room since we moved in. Today the charity shop gods were smiling on me as I bought a lovely solid oak topped small sideboard for £15 and a matching small lamp table for £8! Both needed a good clean, but after a scrub and a through clean today they look like new. I am over the moon! I looked at prices to buy another new to match for the other side of the fireplace and they were between £170-£350, so I’ll keep looking in the charity shop for now!

I am doing well on the grocery shop this past week, just by not going to a shop! I ordered a delivery last week and haven’t needed to do a top up shop yet. I know if I’d popped to a supermarket I would have bought things we don’t need. I will need to restock on milk, fruit and veg soon so will see if I meet the minimum delivery threshold as getting shopping delivered is definitely working for us.

Work is pants. Our service is undergoing a review again which will be completed by March. Who knows what the outcome of that will be, be at the moment I am trying not to worry about things I can’t change.

It’s late, so I need to get to bed and make sure DS does the same. Will catch up again very soon. X 

 

MeandO

£23 of the v!nted money covered yesterday's furniture purchases with £19 swept to the sofa fund. £45 will added to that when the latest v!nted money clears. 

Today I have sorted an issue with my smart meter via live chat, although the problem seems to have been sorted too quickly for my liking considering the last energy provider could never get it working... we'll see. 
I also received a response to a complaint I made about missing AVC's and the funds not appearing in my account for nearly 3 months. They have sorted it which I'm glad about, but also mention they will be sending me a cheque for £125 as compensation. I never expected that at all, it will be a nice surprise if it does materialise and will go a good way to paying down the sofa without having to draw the funds from savings.  

Lunch today was some lovely HM squash soup with a bagel thin. I'm cooking a cottage pie for tea to use up some potatoes that need using. There'll likely be lots left over as it is only OH and I for tea tonight so we may even have it tomorrow too or freeze it for future use.

I bought a little pot of radiator paint last week and have painted some heating pipes that run down a wall in a really visible place. They have bugged me since moving in several years ago so I'm glad to finally get that done. Last night I also noticed the copper pipes under the radiator in a different room are really visible too so they will get the same treatment this weekend as I have plenty of paint left. I also want to take down a big picture I have had for several years (this is the 6th house it's been displayed in and it's time for a change as it's also linked to times past), put it in the loft and put a different frame up in its place. I have bought some fine filler as there will be holes to fill. I just need to check I have some leftover paint for that room, otherwise I will have to repaint the whole room as I can't remember what colour it was! I'm not that fussed on the colour anyway so it's no big deal if it does have to change but I don't really want to spend money on what will need to be two big tubs of paint presently. I will also need to re-paper the alcoves and no longer have any of the wallpaper left. The wallpaper is coming up a bit at one join but I was hoping to just stick it back down again.

I've sorted the bins to put out later, the dishwasher has been on and unloaded and ordered a grocery shop for delivery tomorrow (£47 ish). We are almost out of milk but I have an emergency long life box in the fridge which I'll open if needed as I'm not going to a supermarket today to buy any when it's being delivered tomorrow. I do need to buy some drain unblocker stuff for the bathroom though so will need to pop to HB or somewhere simliar at some point over the weekend. I just need not to buy anything else whilst I'm there! 

Newstartforme

Hi Meando , lovely to read your update,  so sorry about your mum having a fall , really hope she recovers quickly,  great you were on hand ! Your poor son has been unlucky on the injury front , also hope he heals quickly . 
Money wise you really are doing well , not easy with priced and a growing teen , their clothes are so expensive.  Hope you have a lovely weekend x