want to get out of parents

Sunsaru

MattMattMattUK said:

Simonon77 said:

Retireby40 said:

I have always been someone who preferred house sharing than with parents.

I always ask you people who want to buy, or have their own place, but say they can't afford it.....do you have a breakdown of every cost you have.

Most say no.

I ask them do they spend more than £15 a month on their phone. They say yes.

I ask them how often they go out. They say not much....yet spend £200 on social events a month.

Overall little by little their costs accumulate and they say. I can't afford it.

The bottom line is. They can.....however they aren't ready to sacrifice things for it.

Not everyone is in this boat. But a lot of people are.

Not to mention how many are spending a fortune leasing a car or paying a loan on it because they have to have a 3 year old BMW to keep up with their mates... Spending £100 on a Saturday night out isn't uncommon, and add in the designer wardrobe etc...

Conspicuous consumption/keeping up with the Jones's has always been a car crash of a decision. One does not need a flash car or designer clothes, indeed bucking those trends actually tends to work out better, I probably only own a couple of items of what would be regarded as designer clothing and they are very subtle, but buying good fitting clothes is far more important. With cars it always seems that something practical and reliable is far more important. That being said it is not difficult to spend £100 on a night out without doing anything crazy, even drinking beer at £6.50 a pint in a fairly normal pub in the South East £100 is possible, throw in a taxi or two, something to eat etc. £100 is pretty easy, once live music and trains are thrown in £100+ is guaranteed. 

The north west is not that far behind mate.

Sarah1Mitty2

[Deleted User] said:

elsien said:

Perhaps you could clarify in what way you consider it as a scam? 

There's lots of reasons, but consider this.

They are selling three bedroom rabbit hutches around here for £550k. They aren't worth that much, even here. They are priced that way because it forces you to use shared ownership, which makes them even more money than just selling it to you.

Fleecehold as well, so you get service charges on top.

Exactly, all working people should be able to buy some sort of half decent property if they want, without scams to help developers and banks make more money.

Sarah1Mitty2

MattMattMattUK said:

Simonon77 said:

Retireby40 said:

I have always been someone who preferred house sharing than with parents.

I always ask you people who want to buy, or have their own place, but say they can't afford it.....do you have a breakdown of every cost you have.

Most say no.

I ask them do they spend more than £15 a month on their phone. They say yes.

I ask them how often they go out. They say not much....yet spend £200 on social events a month.

Overall little by little their costs accumulate and they say. I can't afford it.

The bottom line is. They can.....however they aren't ready to sacrifice things for it.

Not everyone is in this boat. But a lot of people are.

Not to mention how many are spending a fortune leasing a car or paying a loan on it because they have to have a 3 year old BMW to keep up with their mates... Spending £100 on a Saturday night out isn't uncommon, and add in the designer wardrobe etc...

Conspicuous consumption/keeping up with the Jones's has always been a car crash of a decision. One does not need a flash car or designer clothes, indeed bucking those trends actually tends to work out better, I probably only own a couple of items of what would be regarded as designer clothing and they are very subtle, but buying good fitting clothes is far more important. With cars it always seems that something practical and reliable is far more important. That being said it is not difficult to spend £100 on a night out without doing anything crazy, even drinking beer at £6.50 a pint in a fairly normal pub in the South East £100 is possible, throw in a taxi or two, something to eat etc. £100 is pretty easy, once live music and trains are thrown in £100+ is guaranteed. 

Not really, it worked fine with low interest rates, now it is as you say one of the worst decisions people could make, in fact people will no longer be making those decisions as they can`t afford to, it is those who have been racking up the debt for the last few years that are going to suffer. And as you say £100 on a night out now is being frugal.

badger09

tiger135 said:

Well I have decided to wait before buying I'm going to keep 200k set aside ( earning 500 interest a month) for the purpose of buying when the time.is right , It could be a year or 2 before anything I want comes up.
In the mean time my options have reduced to:
1. Staying at parents beyond 42 (10 weeks time) which I find unacceptable to my own mind.
2. Lodging with friend or work colleague , cheap option but still living with other people say £500 a month all inc
3. Private rental furnished  one bedroom £900-1200 a month plus bills , only saving grace is I know it won't be long term
4. Air BnB £1500-2000 a.month all inc if I can find a suitable one 
For options 2-4 I know I will have to try and justify it to my mother who seems to think that any form of renting is making someone else rich. 
It's like the only acceptable way , to them, for me to leave is to be buying somewhere. 
Any more ideas welcome , all the motivation helps for sure. 

Of those, I’d choose option 2. Agree with friend/colleague that it is a trial period of, say, 3-6 months for both of you. Agree on all ground rules re shared spaces, expenditure, visitors etc in advance. Then tell your mum you want your own space & this is a step towards that. Sugar coat it with ‘I’m helping a friend’ if that makes you feel better. 

That way you haven’t made any long term, potentially very expensive commitments. Continue saving & keep looking for your own place. 

Good luck

Sarah1Mitty2

MultiFuelBurner said:

Unlike some posters who love to flood a post like this with their constant diatribe this is my first response having scan read 17 pages.

I have these word of wisdom for the OP from our previous 20+ years experience.

You are in a strong position, no chain and very healthy deposit (make sure you know what you can get from a mortgage for your total pot)

Keep a close eye on your chosen area and make yourself known to all estate agents and your position as they will alert you to properties before they go to advert.

Think of house prices in 5-10 year chunks not 1-2 years. They never fail to rise. If your desired area is that to others "desired" then it won't fail to rise quicker out of any lull in the market.

Don't delay, get owning asap 👍

Good luck 🤞

I would just add, it is very unlikely that the next 20 years will be like the last 20, so we need to be careful and make our own decisions, and also use PropertyLog to monitor rents and prices for any good reductions, being cash rich the OP is in a great position to take advantage when the time is right.

[Deleted User]

MattMattMattUK said:

Simonon77 said:

Retireby40 said:

I have always been someone who preferred house sharing than with parents.

I always ask you people who want to buy, or have their own place, but say they can't afford it.....do you have a breakdown of every cost you have.

Most say no.

I ask them do they spend more than £15 a month on their phone. They say yes.

I ask them how often they go out. They say not much....yet spend £200 on social events a month.

Overall little by little their costs accumulate and they say. I can't afford it.

The bottom line is. They can.....however they aren't ready to sacrifice things for it.

Not everyone is in this boat. But a lot of people are.

Not to mention how many are spending a fortune leasing a car or paying a loan on it because they have to have a 3 year old BMW to keep up with their mates... Spending £100 on a Saturday night out isn't uncommon, and add in the designer wardrobe etc...

Conspicuous consumption/keeping up with the Jones's has always been a car crash of a decision. One does not need a flash car or designer clothes, indeed bucking those trends actually tends to work out better, I probably only own a couple of items of what would be regarded as designer clothing and they are very subtle, but buying good fitting clothes is far more important. With cars it always seems that something practical and reliable is far more important. That being said it is not difficult to spend £100 on a night out without doing anything crazy, even drinking beer at £6.50 a pint in a fairly normal pub in the South East £100 is possible, throw in a taxi or two, something to eat etc. £100 is pretty easy, once live music and trains are thrown in £100+ is guaranteed. 

Back in the 80s when houses were cheap were the most excessive era in modern history.

The 70s had the oil crisis, when people were addicted to cheap fuel and inefficient, polluting cars. Thanks for the climate change too.

How much did people waste on cigarettes back then? Alcohol consumption is down from the 90s when binge drinking became a thing.

People are just desperate to find an excuse that means they aren't responsible for this disaster.

Emily_Joy

MattMattMattUK said: That being said it is not difficult to spend £100 on a night out without doing anything crazy, even drinking beer at £6.50 a pint in a fairly normal pub in the South East £100 is possible, throw in a taxi or two, something to eat etc. £100 is pretty easy, once live music and trains are thrown in £100+ is guaranteed. 

I disagree. Guildford to London evening out with Network rail card is under £15, standing tickets to the Royal Opera House is under £15. So £30 in total. Something to eat? Well, grab a perfectly fine meal via Too Good To Go for under £5. So, under £35 in total.

tiger135

multifuelburner i agree and plan to but i dont know if i can cope another 3-4 months here.
badger thats possible and at least i wouldnt get all the questions about where am i going who am i meeting etc whenever i go out. plus the bedroom enterered every day due to airing cupboard.
i do feel i need my own space but theres obviously part of me thats scared of it.

Murphybear

MattMattMattUK said:

tiger135 said:

thanks i was wondering about lodging elsewhere but feel a sense of guilt that they might think id rather live with strangers than them. its only because im getting interest on my savings and could double that if i fixed for a year or two. 

Do you still want to be living with your parents at 42 or 43 if you are already struggling with it now? To put ot bluntly no one is going to want to date someone 40+ who is living with their parents so that is going to have further impact on your life and the mental health element will only get worse, not better.

I would be honest with your parents, make it clear that it is no slight on them and you still love them and want to spend time with them, but that living with them as an adult does not work and you do not want it to damage your relationship with them, I am sure that they will understand.

I met my husband when he was 48 and I was 44.  I was sharing with a friend as was he.  Maybe living with parents is different, I don’t know as I never lived with mine again after I went to University 

Emily_Joy

OP, you seem to be swinging from "I am going to stay and see my deposit to grow" and "I cannot stay here any longer" every fortnight or so. In a couple of months time most people who started look in January and didn't have a half of your deposit will be in their own place. You will still be with your parents, complaining about them controlling you but seeing your deposit to grow.