want to get out of parents

MFWannabe

Emily_Joy said:

OP, you seem to be swinging from "I am going to stay and see my deposit to grow" and "I cannot stay here any longer" every fortnight or so. In a couple of months time most people who started look in January and didn't have a half of your deposit will be in their own place. You will still be with your parents, complaining about them controlling you but seeing your deposit to grow.

👆this 
OP when you first posted you said being at parents was mentally killing you; now 5 months later you are still talking about it so maybe it’s not as bad as you first posted? 

But now you are saying you don’t know if you can manage another 3-4 months?! 

Surely if you found a property to buy that’s your light at the end of the tunnel? You can show your parents the property you’re buying and the plans you’re making. With your deposit I’d certainly be buying while still living at parents and saving 
What problem do you have with mortgages? Have you crunched the numbers in a mortgage calculator? 

Is your thinking you’ll be able to save enough in a few years time to buy a property outright? Forgive me if I’m wrong but I don’t think that will be possible in your area? 

MattMattMattUK

Murphybear said:

MattMattMattUK said:

tiger135 said:

thanks i was wondering about lodging elsewhere but feel a sense of guilt that they might think id rather live with strangers than them. its only because im getting interest on my savings and could double that if i fixed for a year or two. 

Do you still want to be living with your parents at 42 or 43 if you are already struggling with it now? To put ot bluntly no one is going to want to date someone 40+ who is living with their parents so that is going to have further impact on your life and the mental health element will only get worse, not better.

I would be honest with your parents, make it clear that it is no slight on them and you still love them and want to spend time with them, but that living with them as an adult does not work and you do not want it to damage your relationship with them, I am sure that they will understand.

I met my husband when he was 48 and I was 44.  I was sharing with a friend as was he.  Maybe living with parents is different, I don’t know as I never lived with mine again after I went to University 

Sharing with friends is very different to living with parents. 

spoovy

No offence meant OP but this is a very odd thread.  You have a very healthy deposit to buy a house, yet you prefer to live with your parents, despite being in your forties and hating it? 🙃

You need to pull your finger out, buy a house, with a modest mortgage, and get on with your life. What are you waiting for, a chance to "buy the dip" in six months? Or to save up and buy cash? Because realistically neither of these things is going to happen, not unless you are incredibly lucky anyway, and relying on incredibly good luck is not a life strategy.

warby68

The longer you wait sometimes the harder it is to push the button.

Push the button OP and make your move. Life isn't for marking time for no good reason.

If it were me, I'd be buying not faffing around with various rental options when you have that deposit.

Murphybear

MattMattMattUK said:

Murphybear said:

MattMattMattUK said:

tiger135 said:

thanks i was wondering about lodging elsewhere but feel a sense of guilt that they might think id rather live with strangers than them. its only because im getting interest on my savings and could double that if i fixed for a year or two. 

Do you still want to be living with your parents at 42 or 43 if you are already struggling with it now? To put ot bluntly no one is going to want to date someone 40+ who is living with their parents so that is going to have further impact on your life and the mental health element will only get worse, not better.

I would be honest with your parents, make it clear that it is no slight on them and you still love them and want to spend time with them, but that living with them as an adult does not work and you do not want it to damage your relationship with them, I am sure that they will understand.

I met my husband when he was 48 and I was 44.  I was sharing with a friend as was he.  Maybe living with parents is different, I don’t know as I never lived with mine again after I went to University 

Sharing with friends is very different to living with parents. 

I do understand.  My old school friends brother lived with their parents until he was in his 40s.  He finally bought a property within walking distance and took his washing back home for his mother to do 

MattMattMattUK

Murphybear said:

MattMattMattUK said:

Murphybear said:

MattMattMattUK said:

tiger135 said:

thanks i was wondering about lodging elsewhere but feel a sense of guilt that they might think id rather live with strangers than them. its only because im getting interest on my savings and could double that if i fixed for a year or two. 

Do you still want to be living with your parents at 42 or 43 if you are already struggling with it now? To put ot bluntly no one is going to want to date someone 40+ who is living with their parents so that is going to have further impact on your life and the mental health element will only get worse, not better.

I would be honest with your parents, make it clear that it is no slight on them and you still love them and want to spend time with them, but that living with them as an adult does not work and you do not want it to damage your relationship with them, I am sure that they will understand.

I met my husband when he was 48 and I was 44.  I was sharing with a friend as was he.  Maybe living with parents is different, I don’t know as I never lived with mine again after I went to University 

Sharing with friends is very different to living with parents. 

I do understand.  My old school friends brother lived with their parents until he was in his 40s.  He finally bought a property within walking distance and took his washing back home for his mother to do 

Oh dear...

Niv

tiger135 said:

Well I have decided to wait before buying I'm going to keep 200k set aside ( earning 500 interest a month) for the purpose of buying when the time.is right , It could be a year or 2 before anything I want comes up.
In the mean time my options have reduced to:
1. Staying at parents beyond 42 (10 weeks time) which I find unacceptable to my own mind.
2. Lodging with friend or work colleague , cheap option but still living with other people say £500 a month all inc
3. Private rental furnished  one bedroom £900-1200 a month plus bills , only saving grace is I know it won't be long term
4. Air BnB £1500-2000 a.month all inc if I can find a suitable one 
For options 2-4 I know I will have to try and justify it to my mother who seems to think that any form of renting is making someone else rich. 
It's like the only acceptable way , to them, for me to leave is to be buying somewhere. 
Any more ideas welcome , all the motivation helps for sure. 

How do you define that to yourself? (Hint there is no wrong answer but you should have a personal criteria to define when its right for you).

There are posters on here that sold about a decade ago to rent while waiting for house prices to 'crash' which they haven't in that time so are likely to be either priced out now or it costing them a lot more than if they had just bought in the first place.

If you are waiting for a 'crash' what does that even mean? Its a word banded about on here a lot but most people have their own definition of what a crash actually is. 

ItisHappening

tiger135 said:

hi all, i am currently nearly forty and have ended up back at my parents, which is killing me mentally!
i have a good amount in the bank but im not sure whether to buy now or wait as prices could come down.
do i have any other options when the rental market is crazy prices?
thanks , tiger

I would wait a year or two as according to the Land Registry prices are dropping and March was the biggest drop for over 20 years.

Sunsaru

ItisHappening said:

tiger135 said:

hi all, i am currently nearly forty and have ended up back at my parents, which is killing me mentally!
i have a good amount in the bank but im not sure whether to buy now or wait as prices could come down.
do i have any other options when the rental market is crazy prices?
thanks , tiger

I would wait a year or two as according to the Land Registry prices are dropping and March was the biggest drop for over 20 years.

Welcome back Yellowsub.

Sarah1Mitty2

Niv said:

tiger135 said:

Well I have decided to wait before buying I'm going to keep 200k set aside ( earning 500 interest a month) for the purpose of buying when the time.is right , It could be a year or 2 before anything I want comes up.
In the mean time my options have reduced to:
1. Staying at parents beyond 42 (10 weeks time) which I find unacceptable to my own mind.
2. Lodging with friend or work colleague , cheap option but still living with other people say £500 a month all inc
3. Private rental furnished  one bedroom £900-1200 a month plus bills , only saving grace is I know it won't be long term
4. Air BnB £1500-2000 a.month all inc if I can find a suitable one 
For options 2-4 I know I will have to try and justify it to my mother who seems to think that any form of renting is making someone else rich. 
It's like the only acceptable way , to them, for me to leave is to be buying somewhere. 
Any more ideas welcome , all the motivation helps for sure. 

How do you define that to yourself? (Hint there is no wrong answer but you should have a personal criteria to define when its right for you).

There are posters on here that sold about a decade ago to rent while waiting for house prices to 'crash' which they haven't in that time so are likely to be either priced out now or it costing them a lot more than if they had just bought in the first place.

If you are waiting for a 'crash' what does that even mean? Its a word banded about on here a lot but most people have their own definition of what a crash actually is. 

Someone with good income and benefiting from rising interest rates shouldn`t be buying property now, that just doesn`t make sense at all. People rushed to buy during the stamp duty holiday because they thought they would be "priced out", can you imagine how many of them are feeling now as their fixed rates come to an end?