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Money Moral Dilemma: Should I pay less after friends gave me a worse room at our New Year's getaway?

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Comments

  • SStitanic
    SStitanic Posts: 52 Forumite
    Sixth Anniversary 10 Posts
    edited 4 January 2023 at 9:29AM
    Wow. Yes absolutely you should pay less, pay nothing probably and that couple who got the room with a view should send you a gift. Next time you arrange to go away with so called friends, let them know in advance you expect a room of your own, being single does not equate to being treated like the help.

  • gothvixen said:
    Too many people think that being part of a couple or having a child/children makes them a more worthwhile person. You should have been compensated and I absolutely wouldn't let it go. Treating you as undeserving of the room for which you paid is completely unacceptable. I wouldn't be able to maintain any sort of relationhip with anyone who was happy to treat me so shabbily. Once you show you can very eaily be disrespected people will continue to do so.
    100% this.

    I would not let it go either as you have been treated appaulingly

    I would be wondering, if the other couple joined last minute - was the break paid for, already?  Did this new couple actually pay anything at all, and where did the money actually go, if the break was paid for
    With love, POSR <3
  • Stumpy
    Stumpy Posts: 1,109 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Some of this depends on what was agreed.  I've been away with friends before and generally you book a property with X number of bedrooms, so that each friend/couple going get a room.  You then divide the cost between either each person going, or each room booked.  (So sometimes it's paid for per person, so a couple effectively would be paying double of a single person between them; sometimes it's paid for per room). 

    Either way, generally prior to going there is an "agreement" between those paying that everyone gets the size of room they are happy with.  Having said that .. sometimes all you know is there are X double rooms, X singles, X sofabeds, so you might not necessarily be able to specify without actually being there WHICH room is which.

    The fact that this couple attended last minute implies they were not part of the booking process, nor the original payment agreement.  Potentially they may indeed have violated the terms of the booking simply by being there (although as there was an additional sofa bed, that also implies that they didn't exceed maximum occupancy of the property - just the maximum originally agreed).

    Without doubt, the couple should have been told they could only stay IF it was okay with the company/person they booked through, IF they were happy making do with whatever room was left for sleeping (unless they made individual arrangements with someone else going) and IF they contributed towards the cost in the same way everyone else had done.

    But as this is now after the fact .. I'd be asking the organiser for my share of the contribution the late-arriving couple made/compensation for not getting the bedroom I paid for (there's no way I'd pay for a trip away and expect to sleep on a sofa bed in a communal area). 

    And I'd be looking for different friends.  Apart from anything else - something like that would leave a bitter taste in my mouth and I would never be able to interact with them the same way again, so it would poison my relationship with them anyway.  Cutting ties faster is better.
  • REJP
    REJP Posts: 325 Forumite
    Sixth Anniversary 100 Posts Name Dropper
    Original Poster was badly treated.   Having paid for a double room , then having to sleep on a sofa is wrong.
    I am one of the people who think the extra couple should not have taken a room paid for by the single person, in fact why were they even allowed to join a group event when all rooms were allocated and paid for.
    Certainly the OP has been treated shabbily, not unusual in the case of many single people when rooms are allocated.
    Find better friends.
  • You should have a full refund as you didn't have a room.
  • Primrose
    Primrose Posts: 10,666 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper I've been Money Tipped!
    Probably a bit late now to talk about compensation but I think this was unfairly managed and if this is likely to be be a repeat occurrence with the in the future I would certainly raise it.

    Perhaps send a collective email out saying you enjoyed it but it was spoiled by the general assumption, without your consent, that you would automate vacate the room you'd committed to and end up on a sofa to accommodate a last minute change. .  Ask that if the group reconvenes next year all original parties are consulted before assumptions are made about any last minute replacements being involved.

    It was probably done thoughtlessly, so a polite reminder about good manners and not making assumptions would not come amiss.. Nipping these issues in the bud is the best way of ensuring they don't come a future habit. 
  • Agent57
    Agent57 Posts: 73 Forumite
    Seventh Anniversary 10 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Another dilemma with some vital information missed off.  Did the extra couple pay anything at all?  Who did they pay?  How much did they pay?  If you had already paid the full price for the room and they had that room then the couple should have paid you ideally the full price of the room but at least 2/3rds the cost of the room as a minimum.  You should have raised this at the time.
  • I think the action you take depends how much you value / need this group of friends, and the reason behind the extra couple turning up at the last minute. If your friends are generally lovely, considerate people, did they take pity on the other couple after some traumatic event wrecked their original plans, and ask them along as an act of genuine kindness, without really thinking it through? If you want to stay within the group you can’t just say nothing though. It wasn’t fair, and simmering resentment will spoil the relationships, but it’s up to you to decide how aggressively you feel you need to tackle it. If you don’t desperately need the money, I think it might be better to point out that you paid for a room you didn’t get, and though you’ll accept it this time, you wouldn’t do if it ever happened again. State your case as soon as you can to clear the air, then drop the subject. Give them the opportunity to offer some type of compensation, without you needing to ask. Good luck. 
  • I don't think that it is worth losing your friends over this. You did say that you had a good time with them. Can you discuss it with them calmly and tactfully, perhaps in an email? 
    It seems that they did not think this through at all. Maybe the organiser just thought about the logistics of how to fit the extra couple in, not about the breakdown in costs (per person) or any inconvenience to yourself?  
    A few years ago my friends and I were in a similar situation where a last minute extra person joined us in a holiday apartment.
    I was the organiser and so I contacted the owner via the booking company to say that there would be an additional guest. You just cannot turn up with extra people without notice. I had to pay an additional fee.
    I asked my friend who had to sleep on the sofa to give me a much smaller contribution towards the stay. In this case it was the last minute guest who had the sofa, not anyone who had pre-booked a room.
    Everyone was happy and we are all still friends. I would not have dreamed of charging full price for something so makeshift and lacking in privacy while the rest of us enjoyed very nice accommodation. 
    Also, I would not have dreamed of turning someone out of a pre-booked room without their agreement. You slept on the sofa so that everyone's holiday could go ahead, so you must be a very good friend. However, you should not have had to pay for a double room with a lakeside view which you did not get. A  re-calculation of costs is in order.
  • sleepymans
    sleepymans Posts: 907 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 500 Posts Name Dropper
    Make an issue of this and you will probably lose friends…..you were badly treated. Whether you think that’s more important than the friendships then make it an issue. 
    :A Goddess :A
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