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As for dinner I would leave him to it. Go on blooming strike.
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Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/14.**Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** MFW. Finally mortgage free O2/ 2021****
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One debt remaining. Home improvement loan. 14 months left.2 -
I'd be inclined to say that if he isn't willing to ration the beer to a level that isn't harmful for him, then the only alternative is for there to be no beer. If it isn't in the house, he can't drink it can he!
A thought though - have you tried him with alcohol free beer to see if it's the alcohol or the ingredients causing the issues? You could potentially do it by simply buying the no/lo version of whatever beer he usually has and it may even go unnoticed. The flavour now for the AF stuff is astonishingly good.
🎉 MORTGAGE FREE (First time!) 30/09/2016 🎉 And now we go again…New mortgage taken 01/09/23 🏡
Balance as at 01/09/23 = £115,000.00 Balance as at 31/12/23 = £112,000.00
Balance as at 31/08/24 = £105,400.00 Balance as at 31/12/24 = £102,500.00
£100k barrier broken 1/4/25
Balance as at 31/08/25 = £ 95,450.00. Balance as at 31/12/25 = £ 91,100.00
SOA CALCULATOR (for DFW newbies): SOA Calculatorshe/her2 -
I think if I remember rightly, he would just go buy it himself then and Mrs SA wouldn't have control as shops sell it to him.
Giving him no money doesn't work either as he has been caught in her bag before now. He would find a way and then have as many as he wants.
So sorry he is up to his old tricks. It must be hard as he is an adult child.
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You can do anything if you put your mind to it. x2 -
How upsetting for you @Sun_Addict. I hope you can take some time for yourself to switch off from it all today.
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I have a suspicion you're right. Very frustrating.
🎉 MORTGAGE FREE (First time!) 30/09/2016 🎉 And now we go again…New mortgage taken 01/09/23 🏡
Balance as at 01/09/23 = £115,000.00 Balance as at 31/12/23 = £112,000.00
Balance as at 31/08/24 = £105,400.00 Balance as at 31/12/24 = £102,500.00
£100k barrier broken 1/4/25
Balance as at 31/08/25 = £ 95,450.00. Balance as at 31/12/25 = £ 91,100.00
SOA CALCULATOR (for DFW newbies): SOA Calculatorshe/her1 -
Interestingly, if he's assessed as having the capacity to make the decision (even if others disagree with it), he could well have beer while in a care facility. There's a personal allowance of a bit over £30 a week for each person in care. Staff would probably be in a similar position to SA, trying to dissuade him, but they couldn't prevent him from buying or drinking it.
SA, how about painting the rim of his can/bottle/glass with B1trex?
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Thank you for all your comments and suggestions. @Cherryfudge oh you are naughty 🤣 @EssexHebridean he does like AF beer and I've swapped one of his cans with his agreement. However he's just mixing it in his glass with normal beer. @Willowtree222 yes you're right he'd still find a way to buy it if I didn't. I can't stop him going out and buying it although I can take it off him.
It causes so much bad feeling and stress I wish he wouldn't do it. It's not as if he's already had the beer and wants another he takes the extra can (or two) before he's even opened the first one. I just can't understand it.
I've struggled to concentrate on anything today.
I get knocked down but I get up again (Chumbawamba, Tubthumping) -.literally have been run over by a bike, mobility scooter and a car - still here 💪0 -
In your position I would be "accidentally" ordering the AF stuff and "not noticing" next time, then hiding it as usual. 😉
🎉 MORTGAGE FREE (First time!) 30/09/2016 🎉 And now we go again…New mortgage taken 01/09/23 🏡
Balance as at 01/09/23 = £115,000.00 Balance as at 31/12/23 = £112,000.00
Balance as at 31/08/24 = £105,400.00 Balance as at 31/12/24 = £102,500.00
£100k barrier broken 1/4/25
Balance as at 31/08/25 = £ 95,450.00. Balance as at 31/12/25 = £ 91,100.00
SOA CALCULATOR (for DFW newbies): SOA Calculatorshe/her0 -
Addiction is so difficult to live with. DH isn’t as bad, but does like a drink. He’s moved onto AF beer and now only drinks if he’s out socially. It’s such a slippery slope though 🥴
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