Find the SecondStar and soar, and then straight on till the morning…

SecondStar

Managed to get a 1st coat onto the beadboard with the roller after all! It’s still drying, and it does look patchy in places, so it’ll likely be a 2nd coat needed which will empty the tin and then some I think. Still need to cut in as well, I usually do that first but the F&B paint pulls off if you cut in first and then roller 🙄

It’s all coming together so well though, it’s one thing to have a vision, and another to see it blossoming around you. Being able to see glimpses of the new bedroom from other rooms in the house is just wonderful.

I didn’t want ‘my house decorated’, or else I could’ve given someone a lot of money and put my feet up for a couple of days. Instead I wanted to ‘decorate my house’ - there’s a difference! I wanted to shinny up and down ladders, to get paint on parts of myself I can’t reach, to fall into bed with aching muscles and sleep like a rock. I wanted to trust my taste and my skills, and to try things for the first time; to be able to step back and be proud of what I see.

I’ll be glad to get the last of the painting finished tomorrow morning, so that the room can go back to some sort of regular shape!

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Cut is this morning, fixed the patchy areas, and then did a 2nd coat on the cut in bits. Finally finished (painting, at least!)!

The green does look dreamy, all soft and cosy, and the pink and floral paper is super sweet. I got the bed back into position, and even without the dividing curtain up yet, the split colour is already giving the feeling of being in a ship’s cabin or a Romany wagon, and it’s lovely.

We will collect the wardrobe on Thursday, I can’t remember what size it really is, but it should go beside the bed. I’m also trying out having my desk in the corner of the bedroom too, now that the sideboard has moved out. It looks very cute, but it’s not near a plug, and loose cables and wires is NOT cute. Food for thought.

Having the desk out of the living room has enabled me to move my rocking chair into that corner and rotate the sofa back under the window, which opens the space up beautifully. The router is still hidden, and it gives access to the corner which has been earmarked for bookshelves for a year! I’ll play with the desk in the bedroom for a while, especially when the wardrobe comes, and decide which I like better.

If (when) my partner moves in, we may choose to share a desk or to have separate spaces. I only use my desk for WFH, and he uses his in the evenings for the computer, so 1 desk might be fine.

Whilst I mess around with room layouts, I’m also thinking about the best way to alter my dividing curtains, what I want the shelving in the bed nook to look like, and which areas are best for my ever growing collection of picture frames and hanging bits. Once again, I’m hit with the feeling of ‘why didn’t I do this sooner?!’!

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Coming back to work after a week off is always a bumpy transition. I’m at home today, and trialling the new position of my desk in the bedroom, and my cat isn’t sure what to make of the change! Jury will be out u til the wardrobe arrives, and I move things about some more. Hoping that the wardrobe isn’t going to be too large & dark toned for the space, given that it was the most impulsive of impulse purchases!

Now that I have colour on all of the spaces (although kitchen & possibly the porch will be redone), I think I really would like to replace the 3 internal doors. They’re the super cheap hollow-core, 6-panel type, and had been slathered in white emulsion along with the rest of the house. I had slathered them again, to colour drench each space, but they’re a bit lumpy, and the paint layers have stuck and flaked in some areas, and the hinges are a mess.

I’m thinking the 1930’s style, with a small top panel, and then vertical lower panels. I’d really love to get some reclaimed original doors, but finding 3 to match and then fitting odd sizes to my frames might be a bit beyond my capabilities. Instead, I think I might go for new ones and then distress & stain them down a little to add age. They’ll be a closer fit for my frames, although neither myself or my partner have hung new doors before - first for everything, and all that.

Each door is around £90, plus handles, and we’ll need a planer as well. It might be that I buy 1 door a month, for a few months.

I think it’s probably prudent to finish off the bathroom & bedroom before turning to another space with ideas and paint. The bathroom wants new lino, a mirror sourced, shelves cut stained and hung, all of the things I’ve collected hung on the walls, and the shower screen replaces with a rail & curtain. Oh, and a new tap & flush, and/or a new basin if I can find a cheap secondhand one, as mine has a big crack in it.

Bedroom needs more than I care to list right now! 

in_need_of_direction

have you tried www.ballyaltonhouse.co.uk for doors?  might be worth a visit if you are anywhere near?

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in_need_of_direction said:

have you tried www.ballyaltonhouse.co.uk for doors?  might be worth a visit if you are anywhere near?

I’ll add them to my list of salvage yards to check, thanks!

KajiKita

When we lived in a 1930s house we bought plain wooden internal fire doors. Really solid and absolutely plain. Not that expensive and it meant we could spend more on the handles which was important to me  

KK

SecondStar

Wardrobe is in! It barely fit in the Picasso, we had to tie the boot down. It is a nice, neat little size for the room, with hanging space on one side and shelves and a drawer on the other side. The top is flat for additional storage boxes on top, and it still has all its original mechanisms and key which is a nice touch.

It was far more cobwebby than I remembered! And also smelling a bit musty. Throughout the day it got hoovered down, wiped with plain water, wiped with white vinegar, and finally febreezed and aired out. I’ve only had drawers for so long that I had no clothes hangers anymore, but picked some up in Primark of all places - nice wooden ones, in a darker tone than hangers usually are, and for £3 for 5 which was a bargain.

I did my winter-summer clothing rotation a while ago, but I know that there’s summer clothes in my drawers that I just won’t wear again. I’ve moved my favourite, most frequently reached for items into the wardrobe, along with pyjamas, rough clothes, loungewear, and underwear, and still have room to spare. I’ve left the other items in the drawers, and will see if i go searching for them at all.

It reminded me of the 5 months I spent living with my friend before I bought my house. How I stuffed a dozen items of clothing into a bag, along with my toiletries, makeup, iPad, and chargers, and just left. I never felt the loss of the rest of my things, other than my pets. I felt the very keen loss of having my own space, and my own security and safety, but I didn’t miss any of my things - other than the terror which comes with living out of a bag, I didn’t so much mind ‘living out of a bag’.

When we went to collect the wardrobe, there was a pretty chest of drawers there too - not a match to the wardrobe, but the same tones and style. Shorter than my current drawers, but wider, and nicer to look at. It would fit into my bedroom with the wardrobe, if my desk came back into the living room, but I’m not sure if I actually need that much storage. One to think about.

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Saturday was the summer solstice, and my partner and I had such a great day celebrating with our viking family. Our solstice event was very well attended, and everyone had a lovely time. We opted out of any camping or trading that weekend, instead we did demos of textiles and forge work, and chatted to the public about living history - it was a much more laid back and relaxed event as a result, and felt like a real celebration of summer.

Sunday was a big, lazy day, with a lie in, breakfast in bed, a nap, and a slow afternoon walk in the sunshine for ice cream and tea by the harbour. Beautiful!

I’ve started cutting the fabric to make a log cabin quilt for the bed. It’s been a while since I made any patchwork, and for a minute I got sucked into an online scroll-hole of mm perfect quilts, using cutters and rulers and marking tools and templates, made up with precision, using themed, matching, expensive designer quilting cottons. It was incredibly intimidating, and immediately makes you feel rubbish - like you can’t possibly do anything like that - whilst at the same time it influences you to go out and buy all of that stuff!

I had to take a deep breath and remind myself what is at the root of domestic quilting - using up little pieces of fabric, and making a useful item out of them. If it’s pretty, it’s a bonus, I certainly don’t have the time, energy, patience, or inclination, to be making sure every piece is exactly the same size, and butting all of my seams up perfectly. I also don’t have the money, or the inclination, to be buying meters of designer cottons, and then be too scared to ever actually cut them up.

Fair play to anyone who finds this way of quilting to be fun and enjoyable, but I definitely do not! Instead, I started by cutting up a bunch of tea towels that I don’t use anymore, and then moved into my stash of fabric for some likely pieces. I’ve bolstered those with some ticking cotton and some cheap poly-cottons which were on sale, and will pick up a few more half meters of co-ordinating fabric tomorrow to keep cutting out. I’ve still quite a few ‘logs’ to cut!

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Partner was off on Friday & Saturday, and working today, so I took Friday as AL so we could have a ‘weekend’ together.

Took a spin around the charity shops on Friday, picked up another big wool blanket for a tenner, a little ceramic pot, a pretty tin with a floral design, and a 1970’s melamine kitchen roll holder with a blue flower pattern on. Nipped over to the fabric shop for a few more pieces for my quilt, and bumped into some friends for a quick chat.

There was a massive antiques fair on on Saturday, and so we were up bright and early for a rummage + unfortunately so was everyone else, it was packed! Most of it was much too expensive, but beautiful to look at. There were some bits which were reasonably priced, but still out of budget at the moment. Lots of lovely chests, boxes, and stools - I’m such a sucker for old wooden pieces.

I did get myself a little gold ring with an amethyst set in it. It reminds me of a piece belonging to my great granny, which my mum had given to me. It was £60, and my partner offered to pay for half of it, and I’ve never bought myself ‘nice’ jewellery before. It is beautiful! It’s the sort of thing I’d like as an engagement ring, although this one is sized for my middle and index fingers.

Today I’m up and doing a very reluctant, very slow, clean of my house. I’ve wiped down, hoovered, and mopped the kitchen, and now I’m thinking about lunch.

I’ve been going back and forth over the idea of hiring a cleaner - either for a 1-off deep clean, or that plus maybe a once-monthly clean. I’ve never had a cleaner come into any of my homes before. It feels incredibly frivolous in one hand, but on the other I know that my home could be kept a lot cleaner than it is, except that I just don’t have the inclination or the know-how. It might be nice to not have to worry about the cobwebs and dust building up in the corners, the grub in the windows, or the mould that sneaks into the silicone around the bath.

It’ll take some time tot think over, and decide if that is something which would actually be worth the money to me, or not.

SecondStar

It’s been a frustrating and unsatisfying couple of weeks, which is why I’ve not written here - I don’t like bringing doom and gloom, but it’s best to get it out of my head!

I’ve been in a lot of pain and discomfort from my hyper mobility, and the subsequent impact that is having on my posture. I’ve lived my whole life up till now with no pain, but after 34 years of compensating for my lack of stability, my upper back, shoulders, and neck are just hurting all of the time. It’s causing pressure headaches and injuries, as I try in vain to readjust myself. I just don’t have the strength or capacity in the right places to support my body, and that needs to change fast.

Building new habits is very difficult for me, as I have a fixed set of routines which don’t respond well to change. But I know that if I continue to ignore these problems, then they will only get worse.

With my toes also being hyper mobile and unstable, it then impacts on my gait - I now have a build up of hard callous on my heels, which makes it impossible to sleep on my back without foot pain! My mattress is also well past its best, and I’m struggling to get a good night’s sleep with moving about to try and get comfortable when my body is lacking support when lying down.

In addition to all this, I’ve also been back and forth to the doctors over the last few weeks - stemming from my smear test, and now looking at tests and referrals. I’m waiting on a referral for a hospital appointment, hopefully in the next couple of weeks. I’m so thankful that my job has special leave policies in place for health related appointments, and that I’m able to get support that way.

I also had an interview on Monday, after receiving some uncomfortable health news. It was a recorded video interview, and I was so close to just not doing it and going to feel sorry for myself instead. But I muddled through - it wasn’t my best ever interview, but it’s done now. The position would be a promotion, without moving into a managerial role, which would be good - a bit more money, more challenging work - but I don’t have my heart set on it.



I have some time off this weekend - Saturday - Tuesday - and the weather will be nice, so I had planned on painting the outside of the house. It might cost around £200 in paint and supplies.

With all of my other issues going on, I had a bit of a think - why is it that I don’t mind, or am excited about, spending money on DIY, or things for the house, and yet I am always loathe to make any sort of investment in myself? Not in a ‘I deserve Starbucks every morning, and new clothes every week’, or a ‘I’ll just get a little treat’, sort of way - genuine, positive, investment in my body.

Why am I adverse to spending £50 on a podiatry appointment to have those callouses removed, so my feet can be pain free? Or £50 on an upper body sports massage, to get some of the tension out of my body? Or £5 a month on online exercise classes, to learn how to train my body to hold itself upright? Or £100 on good pillows and a duvet to promote a good nights sleep? Or £20 on an electric toothbrush, and £70 on a scale and polish at the dentist which I’ve been putting off? Or specifically saving up for a new mattress, which won’t have springs digging into my sides?

Maybe it’s because I think these things are unimportant, or not worth it, or that I don’t consider them to be good value? Or maybe it’s because some part of me still considers myself to be unimportant, or not worth it, or of poor value. That it is easier and more rewarding to make my surroundings beautiful and satisfying, rather than myself.

It is far easier to make a commitment to my home, than it is to make a commitment to myself. I respond better to change when there is an accountability factor, so I suppose I could make a commitment here instead - I’m going to go and research podiatry and massage in the local area, and get booked in.