Find the SecondStar and soar, and then straight on till the morning…

SecondStar

Well with the electric meter beeping, and the gas on the reserve, I sat down to take another look at next month’s budget.

Long story short, I’ll be doing a no-spend month in February too, because I will continue to be skint. It’ll likely be another red month.

At a glance, it’s -
2 x new written prescriptions for pet meds at £28 each (I usually pay monthly into a sinking fund to save up for the scripts over 6 months, but my dog is getting 2 additional medications now)
That foolish £87 speed awareness course
£38 to book my MOT
Likely an additional £60 for gas and electric, on top of my usual spend, if this month is anything to go by

I’ll post the full breakdown on here at some point when I can be bothered to fetch my binder from my desk, but I’ve slashed my food budget from £180 to £120 which should be manageable, and have stopped my therapy sessions. My internet and phone bill are the lowest I can get, and the only subscription I still have is Spotify. This might go too, in favour of just putting up with ads.

I pay for private health insurance, as I have a health issue that I’m on a very long NHS waiting list for, however I’ve not pursued this privately yet - need a kick up the bum to do this! I also have a life insurance / critical illness insurance, which my mortgage advisor suggested I take out when I bought my house. I told her I wasn’t interested in life insurance as I had no one to leave it to, but she advised to take the policy for the critical illness cover in case something happened and I couldn’t work. I assume this is a good thing to keep paying for, though I grumble at the £18 leaving my account.

After shuffling the few remaining pennies to cover expenses this month, I’m left with £35 food for till the end of the month. I’m hoping my prescription food arrives soon, but I also have potatoes, sweet potatoes, eggs, flour, pasta, rice, porridge, cheese, yogurt, a few bits in the freezer, and basic store cupboard things. I’m hoping to only need that £35 for fresh milk and a vegetable or two, and will be writing up dinners for the rest of the month.



In other news, the roads are still frozen, and the gritter lorries are on strike. It’s saving me money on petrol and bus fare, as I can’t get into the office, but it’s growing rather wearisome to be trapped in the house. I’ve not seen or spoken to anyone else since I left the office at lunchtime on Monday, unless you count therapy over Zoom on Tuesday. The world isn’t set to thaw till Saturday, so I won’t be able to see my partner till then.

At least being stuck in the house makes for an easy NSD! 16/18 now. I was meant to go and collect hair dye from the Freecycle page today, but the roads were too treacherous. The hair dye was the same shade of copper that I used to use, and had been thinking of going back to. My hair is currently blue, and I’d been debating stripping it out and going either back to copper, or my natural brunette, but the cost was off putting. 2 free boxes of dye would’ve been useful, but I still would’ve needed to buy the stripping products first. Think I’ll maybe just keep the blue for a while longer.

SecondStar

19/21 NSDs. Finally got to see my partner this weekend! He’s as broke as I am at the moment, so we had a nice day yesterday walking through a local forest, and then we spent today working on sewing projects, napping, and hiding from the Weather.

I’ve finished both of my underdresses, including hems & cuffs, and also finished my lightweight wool dress which and needed its hem & cuffs done also. I’m thinking that next up will be my yellow linen overdress - it’ll be nice to work with colour again!

SecondStar

20/23 NSDs now - spent £5 from my remaining grocery budget on 2 spools of linen sewing thread. Those will see me through 4 projects, which is how I’m spending my evenings and breaks when I’m working from home, so it’s a good investment.

I wrote out a meal plan for the next week, and should be able to get by on just the food in the house, plus fresh milk and a packet of ham for the dog’s tablets. I’ve also taken the money to pay for the speeding course from my savings, and will put it back in when I get paid.

Speaking of getting paid, I can’t WAIT for next Wednesday. Even though I’ve worked it out and I know it’s going to be another red month, it’s still nice to see the numbers in your account. Plus it’s a challenge to see if any thing can be pared down even more - likely just my grocery budget, and potentially my petrol.

My prescription bread was ordered by the pharmacy but didn’t arrive, so I called them and they’ve chased it…it’s not coming till the 30th, which will have been 3 weeks since I placed the order! Given that each script is meant to be for 1 month’s supply of food, it’s a bloody good thing I’m not 100% reliant on my prescribed food items!

I cut my yellow linen cloth last night, and started pinning and stitching the first couple of pieces. As predicted, it is very nice to be working with colour again, and I can’t wait to see my whole reenactment wardrobe come together!

SecondStar

Up to 23/26 NSDs for January now! My goal is to round out the month only have 3 or 4 spend days, but I’m really trying to not spend any more this month.

I’ve been good about using up the food I have in the house, so I’ve still got £20 left in my grocery budget. Being realistic though, it’s like that will go either on petrol or on gas, as I’ve only got another £20 left for petrol, and the gas is back in the reserve again - I don’t want the same thing to happen as it did before Xmas, where the gas ran out of the reserve amount, and I had to pay an engineer £90 to come and turn it back on again!

My wonderful partner tried to press a £20 note on me this morning for the gas, but I turned him down. He’d give me the shirt off his back and the boots off his feet if I needed, or if I asked; and while I value his generosity and consideration as more precious than rubies, I’m not at the point where I’m unable to pay for the roof over my head without help. That’s not to say I snub all of his offers - it wouldn’t be any good for his pride if he wasn’t able to provide for his woman! - so he brought in dinner last night, and that £20 will likely turn into a nice lunch out this weekend, or a scurry around the charity shops.

I’ve almost finished my yellow linen dress! I’ve never got through a project this fast before - I’ve had a decent amount of time between work, but I’ve also been hyper focusing on it. The next project will likely be an apron dress from the burnt orange linen tablecloth I picked up at the charity shop. I’ll have more clothes than I’ll be able to wear in a weekend this season! I’m getting through my own projects so quickly, once I’m done I’ll be taking my partner’s measurements to practice garment making for others - it’s easy to make things for yourself when you can keep trying them on, it’s comparatively more difficult to work just off of numbers.

Still looking forward to getting paid on Wednesday. It’ll be good to close out the first month, and to look ahead to the next few months, hopefully with a plan to start saving instead of overspending.

Humdinger1

You are doing brilliantly @SecondStar! Your dresses sound fab.  Keeping cheerful while paying down debt is an essential skill and you have it in spades.  Love Humdinger xx 

SecondStar

Thank you @humdinger1 that’s very kind! I’m eternally grateful that I’m not actually indebted as such, bar my mortgage and my regular student loans, it just happens that my outgoings are very high compared to my income. But my savings won’t last forever if I keep dipping into them, most of my outgoings won’t reduce until the incredibly sad day that I lose one of my senior pets, which just leaves trying to reduce the outgoing I have most control over (food, misc.) and trying to increase my income.

Ultimately, I’m not in dire straits at the moment (frantically touching all the wood), but I am only 1 big vet bill or 1 catastrophic boiler issue away from having £0 in the bank, and that is concerning.

I would never wish away the remaining time I have with my pets. I would not prioritise squirrelling away money, or spending it on frivolities, over things which make their lives comfortable and pain-free. However, the reality is that this is a season that we’re all going through - unless something drastic happens with an increase in my income, I am going to be broke until the day that my pets are no longer with me.

So yes, I worry about money, but I don’t shake my fist, tear my hair, and curse the heavens in rage and helplessness - I am broke, but I am blessed, because my family is alive and well, and that is a source of great joy. 

MatyMoo

I’m another one with no dependents to leave my worldly goods to.

After talking to a sensible Financial Adviser they pointed out that my employer gave me 6 months full pay and 6 months half pays if I had anything seriously wrong with me. I also got 3x salary as death in service benefit that would have cleared my mortgage although selling the property would have done that too. At that point I cancelled all life insurance and critical illness cover!

SecondStar

That’s a good point @MatyMoo . At our place the sickness policy is dependant for how long you’ve worked there - if it’s under 1 year, you get 1 month full pay & 1 month half pay, and that increases 1 month with each extra year I believe. I’ve been in the business for almost 2 years now.

It might be worth another look at the life/critical illness when it comes time for renewal in May, along with my home/contents insurance. Both of these were chosen by my mortgage advisor when I was buying my house. She was very good and very diligent, but at the time I was only concerned about getting my keys before I had to leave my friend’s house, so I admit I didn’t pay either of them much mind. The life/critical illness insurance is £18/month, and my home/contents insurance is £32. I’m sure there’s room to bring both of these down.

I’m up to 24 NSDs - my partner and I had a lovely day in the town enjoying the nice weather and having a nose in the charity shops. I got treated to a vanilla chai latte, and he bought me a little salt-glazed earthenware pot for the princely sum of 50p! I was very happy - these type of cups are perfect for reenactment, and are notoriously expensive if you hunt them down specifically. It’s a win if you’re able to find them in charity shops instead!

It’s things like that which make me think about how we view buying and owning ‘things’, and the speed and convenience which we’re accustomed to. I own 2 of these little pots now. I knew I wanted one for *months* - I went through all last season without a period accurate drinking vessel, and it annoyed me at every event. I didn’t have the opportunity to buy one from our potter, and once the season ended I couldn’t afford to pay upwards of £15 for a little cup. They’re the sort of thing that I know come up in charity shops frequently (they’re similar to little tapas bowls), but as you all know, you can’t just waltz into a charity shop and pick up exactly what you need from the shelf! That’s the fun part of getting to browse and dig, but it can also have you cursing when you keep leaving empty handed!

At the end of the day, every ‘thing’ we need in all of our years on earth, already exists in the world. All the clothes we’ll ever wear, all the home goods we’ll ever need - it’s all available, it’s already been bought by someone, and it’s there to be had secondhand or for free. The difference is the time and the convenience in obtaining the ‘thing’. Whether we want to go to Primark or Homebase and just Buy The Thing, or whether we can content and settle ourselves to wait to find one in a charity shop, or on a secondhand site.

I think by continuing to practice NSDs, and by continuing to remind myself that I am broke, and the 2 furry reasons why I am broke, I am becoming more patient and more content with waiting, and being grateful for what I already have.

If I’m being really introspective about it, this mindset shift is helping me to connect with my partner in ways that I haven’t with exes in previous relationships. We’ve only been together for 5 months, and whilst the relationship was already very different to my previous ones, adding on the layers of mindfulness (and being skint!) means that I’ve notice we spend quality time interacting with each other.

In other relationships, we often filled the time with going shopping for food or clothes or homeware - always brand new - or doing things or going places which cost money to get in, or had additional costs attached. Doing things for the sake of doing them, and spending money in the process, because it felt like those were the things you ‘should’ do in a relationship. Because these were things which just filled time.

Whereas with my current partner, the time we spend together feels richer. We talk and interact, we joke and discuss and learn from each other, we speculate and research and problem solve. We are both perfectly happy reading our own books together, or doing separate hobbies beside each other. When we go places together, we’re present with each other because there are no distractions or pressures to spend money - there’s nothing to buy when you’re walking in a forest all afternoon, or playing on the beach! We would rather spend time cooking together, than paying ££ for a dinner out. Our time together is already full, it doesn’t need to be filled. We don’t have to pour money or Stuff into our relationship for us to feel content.



Crikey, that was a bit deep for the sake of a 50p cup! But it’s good practice to retain introspection, now that I’m not going to therapy for a while haha.

In other news, I finished my yellow linen overdress on Friday night - 6 days between cutting out and finishing, the fastest I’ve ever worked up a garment that is entirely hand stitched, and it does look lovely. I’ve cut into my burnt orange linen next - the bulk will make an apron dress, and the excess will be used for trimming my grey wool apron dress. I started whipstitching the trim this morning and realised I won’t have enough linen thread to last for this trim, and the new apron dress - I’ll need to get another spool. I’m going to see if I can shift to another project until after I get paid, so at least that spend day will fall in February!

Very keen to push through February, and hopefully look towards saving from March. Though with the MOT coming up, and needing a service, exhaust work, and possibly a look at the brakes too, I’m not sure how long that will last.

SecondStar

Another beautiful Sunday well spent. I was up at my partner’s last weekend, so this weekend he stayed here both days. A nice lie in, followed by a short dog walk, lots of cups of tea for me and coffee for him; and then what was meant to be a little walk down to the village to sit by the harbour turned into a nice long walk down the seafront.

The wind was howling this afternoon, and the waves were whipping up over the sea wall. We walked out to the lighthouse at the end of the harbour, and there were porpoises in the bay! A mother and calf, I think, come in to shelter from the worst of the stormy weather. I’ve seen cetaceans off the coast in other parts of the country before, but at a distance - never seen them this close before! They were maybe 30m away from where we were stood. Very, very cool.

Took a further walk down the front, once the porpoises had moved back out into the open water, and found a play park at the end of the headland which was completely empty given the 43mph winds, and so we obviously had to go on the swings! It’s very important that you keep indulging your inner child, and allow and encourage both yourself and your partner to play when the opportunity arises.

A brisk walk back into the village as the wind was now behind us, and my partner treated us to chips overlooking the harbour for lunch, and vanilla ice cream for the walk back to the house.

A lovely weekend, which just happened to be mostly free, and further proof to myself that you don’t need to throw money at things or at each other in order to make memories and enjoy time together.

KajiKita

Thst sounds like a really lovely weekend and the swings thing made me smile. I’m a total sucker for a swing too 😊

KK