Find the SecondStar and soar, and then straight on till the morning…

SecondStar

Does it count as a NSD when you have to buy something, but you didn’t plan for/budget for it? I had to pay for another bottle of pain meds for my dog - necessary spending, but unplanned as I didn’t know he wouldn’t be going onto it when I made this months budget.

I think I’m counting it as a NSD. Which makes 9/10 days this month.

I’ve began making a list of things that I will need to budget for, because they will need to be bought/paid for. List currently includes, in no particular order:

• New car exhaust/exhaust repair - £200, if new exhaust required. Car has made a disgusting chugging noise for a few months now, and will not pass MOT if the exhaust checking thingum can’t read the whatever it is that comes out the tailpipe.

• MOT. Runs out in February, which I’d forgotten about. Can’t be put through till the exhaust is sorted, and can’t get an appointment slot till April, besides. - £38

• Car service. See above. - about £150

• Valentine’s Day present for my partner - would like to buy him his own new sheepskin, but at this rate he may be getting a homemade card and a big kiss. - £0-35/40

• Skincare - £70. I know, I know, but most of my products have all run out at the same time, and it’s an every 12 month purchase. Really, I should be saving monthly towards this. I’ll do so from next month.

• New boiler - £2,500. I am whispering this one, in case my current boiler hears and decides to have a case of dramatics and die on me. I’m trying to hold out on this one for as long as possible.

• Removing the pebbledash from the porch, and re rendering - £? Who knows, a pipe dream, really. But there is a blown patch of pebbledash, and it seems to be letting damp through the single skin wall. I hadn’t thought the patches had gotten any bigger, but then I don’t spend much time in the porch. A cursory glance this afternoon says that they might have?? Long term dream is to have the hated pebbledash removed from the whole property, and have it fully re rendered smooth, but that’s if I win the lottery that I don’t play. Perhaps the porch could be achieved between myself and my partner - he’s very hands on, and I’ve got moxy.

I’m sure there’s more, but I can’t think right now. There’s definitely Wants, mostly reenactment gear, but those are the big Needs right now. Don’t ask me how they’re going to be achieved!

SecondStar

Well !!!!!!! I thought I may have been caught speeding on Monday, and the envelope that arrived through the door today confirmed it. £87 for a speed awareness course, which I really could’ve done without spending, but better than 3 points on my license. First offence in 11 years.

Partner very graciously offered to contribute half of my paint cost to get it done sooner, but I declined - this is about realising that I am able to wait for things, and don’t need to have/do them immediately. I wouldn’t be surprised if the paint turned up with a bow on it and a Valentine’s Day card, though. He’s also said he’ll raid his workshops and see how much scrap wood is about, to bring down the cost of my cabinetry plans. He is an angel, and I am very lucky.

My dog has 1 more physio session for his laser treatments, and he’s also been cleared to start back at hydrotherapy. He’s also going to be on an additional pain medication going forwards. I’ll need to look at my budget for next month to see how these will fit in.

I have therapy on Tuesday. I’ve already emailed my therapist to tell her that I’ll need to pause/stop sessions for a while, due to being as poor as a church mouse, and we’ll discuss how that will work on Tuesday. I’d prefer to keep the sessions going, but I just can’t afford it, and my dog’s treatments and care will always take priority.

I had to take £30 from my grocery allowance to pay for another bottle of the pain meds, which leaves £94 for the rest of the month. I shop weekly, so this is about £31 each week. I plan to look in on our community supermarket, and also make use of bits in the freezer and cupboards. I’m hopeful that I’ll only need to buy dairy and a little fresh veg for the rest of the month, but we’ll see.

I’ve started on my 2nd reenactment underdress in the evenings, which is keeping me well occupied. I’m also going to apply for better paying jobs!

SecondStar

First full week back at work completed! If I’m honest, I could do without the petrol and park & ride costs - we have a strict 3 days in office, 2 WFH, but our job could be done entirely remotely - but hey ho.

£32 spent in ASDA for this week - £5 of that was cat litter, so not bad going. Am meeting up with my reenactment family tomorrow for a curry night, and we’re all to bring something for the table. I think I’m going to try a red lentil daal, and I’ll maybe make some gluten free flatbreads to go along with it - I’ve all the ingredients in the cupboards, and it’ll make a large pot. Need to make some more pancakes too - now I’m back in the office, my prescription loaves go to make sandwiches for lunch, so I can’t be using them for breakfast toast!

Partner helped me put up my first curtain rail too - £5 in the Harry Corry sale, bargain - and I’ve got my £4 charity shop curtains up. They’re a big, blowsy pattern of pink and peach peonies and green foliage, on a navy blue background - very 90’s, definitely from a dead person’s house - and they look absolutely fab with my similar coloured 90’s sofa, and the green paint samples on the wall.

At the moment, they hang just above the window, with the sofa underneath. If the sofa moves once the cupboard is built, then I’ll hang the curtains up near the ceiling, and do some creative sewing to make them full length. Partner has also offered to forge me some custom iron curtain brackets, with scrolls for hanging plants from, and space for a 2nd and maybe 3rd rail, so I can layer up the curtains, which is exciting. But for now, it’s enough to have the window covered in the evenings, and it pleases me to see the pretty pattern hung up.

11/12 NSDs so far, but I’ll admit that the thought of buying things has been on my mind. I’m still scrolling on FB marketplace, and had to really remind myself that there’s no need to stop off at the charity shop ‘just for a look’, or to go to the sewing shop because I ‘need more thread’ - I don’t need thread till at least next month, and I have no money for ‘just a look’!

I’ll also admit to being more than a little disturbed by how much concentration and mental fortitude it’s taking to not spend money. But I’m being gentle with myself, and it’s a good feeling to be able to mark the NSDs off on my calendar.

SecondStar

Bought things today! I blame my partner (tongue in cheek), he needed to nip into the charity shops for a ‘new’ pair of jeans for work as his last pair have worn too thin to be repaired.

We had a lovely lazy lie-in, then spent the afternoon driving down the country to drop off some axes made by students which my partner had sharpened for them. We stopped off at a couple of pretty tourist spots, and then had an hour left to speed around the charity shops to find a solid pair of jeans in the right size.

My partner is a fast shopper, and I was only taking a cursory glance - I’m in the market for curtains, jewellery and wooden cups/mugs/plates which could pass as viking-ish, and always on the lookout for large pieces of linen or wool blankets. It just so happened that I came across a pure linen tablecloth in a beautiful burnt orange, and a string of red beads - a total of £6, and then my partner bought me a bracelet of handmade beads too for £3.

So not a NSD, but not frivolous nonsense items either - they will all be used and loved, and had all been things I was looking for.

I cooked up the red lentil daal last night - onion, garlic, red pepper, carrot, vegetable stock, lots of spices, lots of red lentils, a swirl of double cream though it, and then blended to oblivion because I can’t cope with chunks and lumps. It is delicious! I have to transport it an hour in the pot, so I hope it all stays where it should!

KajiKita

Bungee cord around the dal pot? 

Well done on the CS finds 👏😊

KK

vampirotoothus

Hi for your pet meds ask your vet for a prescription and then buy on line, if you don't already. It worked out so much cheaper for my old boy (cat). V x

SecondStar

@vampirotoothus I do already get prescriptions for their meds, need to sit down and calculate if it’s more cost effective to do the same for this new med too.


The daal pot survived the journey, and everyone had brought so much food that I still had 3 portions left - 1 went to my partner, who had been very sad that he wasn’t allowed any the first time around, and 2 have gone to the freezer.

I’ve got lots of food in at the moment, which is good. I usually do my weekly shop on a Friday, and with having to buy new meds for my dog I’m down to £51 left for groceries for the month. I’d rather not have to dip into any more savings, so will be making do with what I have, and hoping my prescription food arrives this week or next.

Picked up an Easiyo yogurt maker off of the local free page yesterday. I’ve still got 1kg of Skyr in the fridge, but once that’s gone than I’ll be experimenting with making my own yogurt, and seeing if I can get an effective price match by making at home - I’ve seen recipes which use milk powder, which seem to have potential.



Currently on 14/16 NSDs for January, which is pretty impressive. I’ve been marking them on my wall calendar next to my desk, and it feels good to see all the days highlighted.

It’s still hard for me to resist buying/looking at things I could buy. A real hard one is clicking on and scrolling through FB marketplace each time I open the app - I wish there was a way to remove the marketplace button from the bottom of the screen! It’s just soooo easy to tap on it!



This bit relates to my neurodivergence, and so won’t be understood by everyone. If you don’t get it, just move on, nothing here is up for debate 

I have autism and ADHD, and so my special interests are very important to me - they make me happy when I interact with them, they keep me regulated, and they bring me intense joy. My current special interests are reenactment, and home decor/DIY.

It has been challenging to find different ways of engaging with my special interests, in ways which don’t involve spending money. For me, I can’t just put down my special interests and pick them back up again when I have money to spend - if I’m not involving myself with them, I feel bereft and very quickly become unregulated.

As we all know, the things we see online are targeted at us. For me, that means that most of my social media and adverts are geared towards home decor/improvement/DIY, and so a lot of that revolves around adverts for buying things, recommending things, and a whoooole lot of consumerism being pushed. It makes it very difficult to not be influenced to buy things.

Reenactment is slightly easier - I don’t get targeted ads, but a lot of my friends, acquaintances, and online social groups revolve around reenactment, which can create a feeling of needing to ‘keep up with the Joneses’, and so to buy things to improve my kit and costuming ahead of the new season starting in March.

Again, it has been difficult to begin to find ways of engaging with these special interests in ways which still fulfil me, but which aren’t leaving me broke.

I’ve come up with a bit of a list of ideas, some of these I’m doing already and some I might explore with time -

Talking about them to others online (posting here helps!)
Going to meet ups with others (curry nights, and our group’s WhatsApp chat!)
Writing about them, both online and offline
Making lists of things I’d like to buy for them, and then planning on how to save and budget for those things
Making mood boards, vision boards, collecting inspiration photos on Pinterest
Drawing and sketching concepts for them
Making analogue media about them (sketchbooks, zines)
Doing more research about them, and compiling that research
Taking books from the library about them
Reading blog posts, websites, and articles about them
Watching documentaries, films, fictional series, and personal vlogs about them
Doing my own photography/videography about them
Using the materials I already own to make things and complete current projects
Planning out lists of materials for new projects
Bouncing ideas with other people, of how to do things for free/very low cost
Improving the things I already own, and finding ways to elevate them for free
Being intentionally mindful and grateful for the things I already have

SecondStar

I had my last session with my therapist today, for the foreseeable, and I’m very sad about it.

We began working together in March 2021, after I wasn’t coping with the death of my mum in July 2020. We worked till July 2021, then reached the end of our planned sessions and took a break. I came back to her in September 2021, when it was clear that my relationship with my now ex was slowly unravelling.

She helped triage my most horrific, toxic job for 4 months, until I finally quit in January 2022. She also helped me survive another year of becoming increasingly miserable, and becoming more abused by my now ex, until I finally left in December 2023.

She’s helped me put my life back together, and I feel bereft knowing that I won’t have her regular support. If I could afford to continue working with her, I would. But the truth is that I’m capital B Broke, and the interests and care of my pets will always come first. Therapy was the last thing to go, and it needed to go - it would’ve become a source of worry, guilt, and shame, if I continued to pay for it.

I can come back at any time, and if something changes for the better in my finances then I will, but for now it’s a sad ‘see you soon’.

vampirotoothus

Hi there, do you have Recycle groups in your area / Gumtree freebies. You seem to have a great skill set, so perhaps you could move towards some upcycling to create things you will love, from things that someone else doesn't? I get the feeling you would get a lot out of it. Good luck V x

SecondStar

@vampirotoothus we do have a very good local free page, where I’ve picked up a few bits and pieces. You’ve got to be fast though, I think some people spend their lives just refreshing the page and commenting on things!



Blinking cold day today. Had a few snow flurries yesterday, and woke up to a very hard frost this morning. It melted a little through the day, but and has frozen back up again and the thawed snow has turned into ice rinks. I was very pleased to be working from home - with my free sheepskin on my desk chair and my handmade wool socks on, pure wool blankets in the dog’s fancy orthopaedic bed, and the cat snuggled up on the heated throw over the sofa, thankfully we’ve been kept warm enough.

The gas went onto the reserve last night, despite having put £50 on at the start of the month. The electric is expected to run out in the next day or two as well, having had £40 on at the start of the month. Both of these amounts would have seen me through any other month this winter. I’m going to have to make the most of the warm months, and still put aside money for gas even if I’m not spending doing it, to get ahead for next winter. How depressing a thought is that!

My dog was due his first session back at hydro this afternoon, but the roads were too bad to get the car out, and it’s too cold for him to be getting wet through. So that’s £45 stamen from my savings, with nothing to show for it (48 hour cancellation policy). We’ve booked in again for Monday, but that’s another £45 from savings. I’ll be able to budget for his sessions from my pay, but not till next month.

My partner usually comes to stay at mine on Tuesday evenings, but the weather has been even worse in his part of the world, and the roads are frozen solid. With the current forecast I may not see him till the weekend, and I’m missing him.

On a brighter note, I got all my work done for today and tomorrow, on Monday, so I’ve had a nice day relaxing with some TV shows and my sewing, and will do the same tomorrow.



I’ve almost finished my 2nd reenactment underdress, which I’m very pleased about. I’ve to finish 2 more seams, cut and roll the neckline, and then do the hems on both underdresses. My next project will either be white linen head coverings, or another linen shift to use as sleepwear - we would usually just wear our daily under garments for sleeping, or modern pjs, so it’s a bit bougie to have a separate set of linens just for sleeping in!

Last year was my first reenactment season, and I was still very much finding my feet within the group. I started with 1 simple set of store-bought clothes (under dress, overdress, hood) which were from my LARP days, but which were very acceptable for our group who are very inclusive with their kit standards. I did hand-sew an apron dress to make a second set of clothes, but with living with my friend for 5 months and then moving house, I didn’t have chance to do much else for my kit. I was portraying a very common, basic viking age persona. I was also only able to attend the local events hosted by my group, and wasn’t able to attend any of the events in England, Ireland, or Europe that my group were invited to participate in.

This year though, I’ll be moving up in the (viking) world!

In real life, my partner and his business partner run a props and reproduction business. This means that they attend reenactment events as real life traders, and make big £££ during the season, and so they’ll get invited by organisers to come and trade at events all over the UK.

In viking life, my partner portrays the persona of a well-off, travelling trader, through his clothing, kit, and camp; and he is also second in command within his own reenactment group, both in real life and in viking life. As we’ll be presenting ourselves as a couple in viking life too this season, that means my viking-self will be living a comparatively luxurious life! We’ll have a large canvas tent, with an awning for trading and comfortable seating, a rope-tensioned bed piled with skins and blankets for sleeping or resting during the day, and trunks to store our things. Partner is also bringing a bigger kitchen set up this season so we can have a cook fire and keep hot water for tea.

Since I’ll be portraying the ‘wife’ of a well-off, high ranking man, it’s important to me that I look the part. My own group isn’t overly stringent on perfect historical accuracy - for us it’s enough to be enthusiastic and keen to learn and improve - but for myself, I want to apply my research and skills into making Good Kit!

Through the autumn and winter, I’ve expanded my Nalbinding (a type of ancient wool craft, similar to crochet) skills tenfold and can now make hats, mittens, and socks, which I plan to sell on my partner’s trading stand this season; and I’ve got plans to make a whole new wardrobe, entirely hand sewn.

I’ve almost finished my 2 underdresses; I have completed a fancy light wool overdress that just needs the cuffs and skirt hemmed (can you tell which part of dressmaking I dislike?!); I’ll make alterations to the straps and decoration of my first linen apron dress; have partially completed a second apron dress in wool; and I’m part way through a reconstruction of a 1950’s wool nurses cloak into a Viking age coat.

I also have fabric sitting for either 2 sleeping dresses, or 1 sleeping dress and a pair of trousers for under my daily kit for warmth; linen for a medium-weight overdress; linen for either a heavy-weight overdress or apron dress; fabric for 2 head coverings; and a beautiful bolt of handwoven wool, which will become a new heavy-weight overdress.

Everything all put together will be Very Fancy indeed! There will be photos of things along the way, and I’m super excited to go into the new season with a whole new wardrobe of beautiful, high-status kit, that also happens to be historically accurate, AND entirely hand sewn!

At least at events, I get to pretend to be prosperous hahaha.