2023 DECLUTTERING CAMPAIGN Mrs SD

GrannyKate

Hugs and kind thoughts to everyone going through stressful times.  I think talking about them on a friendly site helps to declutter some of the stress and many posters have helpful and knowledgeable suggestions. When your mind is stressed you tend to do comfort things (in my case eating) and can't concentrate particularly on the frogs lurking around you.

Fell asleep on bed with DGS4 and woke up at 2am with my glasses on and clutching my mobile - felt like a teenager.  Decorators made a slow start yesterday and went at lunchtime. Not sure they are as good as floor fitters but it may be a different team Monday.  I have to go and collect my stuff for next week's procedure from hospital this morning.  Not thinking too hard about it but will be glad when it's over.  New desk note book is too big and gets in the way so I will try and find the smaller one I meant to use.  May tear the pages out of this one and add to my scrap pile.  @Vulpix - I agree Buxton is lovely - I've been several times with DS1 who lives South of Manchester - will keep it in mind re the family bible (on my list of very mature frogs)

156 Meeting and papers decluttered
157 Sorted lots of papers and filed in sensible order for DS2
158 DS2 gave a sheet to CS bag - very good condition and quite new but doesn't stay in place on KS bed
159 Achieved my £100 (£103.18) extra earnings target for January with download from Prolific surveys.  Feb may be more of a struggle.  I have enough points to download a small MrA voucher from another site.  

Doing children Sunday dinner today but forgot to take anything out of freezer - may need to see what Coop have. 

TC77

@Dfw38 hugs, I'm so sorry to hear about your dad and so difficult if he is non verbal. Hope you get support with what has been happening. From your DF's side I know that older people bruise incredibly easily as their skin is so thin, saying this from seeing my father's bruises (when he was at his home). 
Day off I worked with a list ! and stuck to it, I really wanted to tidy the house but had major frogs to do. Confusion from bank re having to write a One and the Same letter, apparently some things have my middle name and some don't. Had some things to send in duplicate by special delivery. Filed some key papers, put scarves, gloves etc together, transferred £ to various people and sent texts/calls to get back in touch with some long not seen friends who sent me Xmas cards (I've lost my address book). Emptied storage box of things DD1 gave me, most for charity and a coat to get cleaned. Some of the things if mine I would try and ebay as look new and as I am helping her financially added motivation but not sure I will. Items into my bag for textile recycling and few things out. 
Went to see friends for a cuppa before out with other friends. First friends conversation clearly my dad's house came up with one telling me to just get house clearance in, and what if something happens to me what do my kids do as have my hoard as well!  Felt one was being abit harsh but I do have to face that. And looking round my house there is so much, paper, books, jewellery (not expensive), not so many shoes, clothes I hope to get back into. I emptied cod for DD1 who now doesn't want it so will use it again. Very much tinkering about the edges. Watched NK and SS and the thought of even one room of stuff laid out makes me want to lie down. Like aspects of both but can't get my act together. Bought some coloured tights a couple of years ago in a sale. I haven't worn coloured tights for 20 years! and I'm sure DDs won't but still think they could come in useful......:(
I keep thinking I will have a light bulb moment to shift gear.... for those who have does it come as you chip away and suddenly you see how it could be different or did it happen and then you decluttered in major way?
@vulpix wishing your MIL a good recovery and any others poorly
Adding 20 for yesterday 175

gettingthrifty

Dear all
I am way behind on the thread ..some 40 posts as ive been in the TLC carriage reading about self care and how to be your own best friend.
Am sorry if this is off post and not what some people come on here for. But stick with me there is a reason im posting this.
The things i am learning to help my self are.
Breathe
1. Awareness of how bad you feel and allowing it
2.being kind to yourself and speaking to yourself like you would a good friend
3. Knowing you are connected to others in having these feelings

It was point 3 that made me write this post. To thank you to those who share your worries and frustrations and sadness' . In the wider world i dont discuss this sort of thing.
Someone was extremely rude to me last week patronised and humiliated me  ..sent me spiralling down and ive retreated into a cave of self hate. No one knows what your history is and why they can affect you like that. Would value anyones thoughts on how you deal with this when it makes you come to a halt - i havent been able to  declutter and only low level function since . Crazy i know. Any thoughts? 

 

Floss

Dfw38 said:

@Floss my dbro and I were hoping there would be a deferred charge (think that is what it is called) so when dad dies, the care home fees will come out of the estate. When my dbro talked to the house manager today he said he believes dad's fees are paid by the council. 
 

It sounds about right - the council will pay & a charge should be lodged against the deeds of the house to recoup the cost when it is sold. This is a useful bit of information for you:
https://www.carehome.co.uk/advice/deferred-payment-agreements-to-pay-for-care-home-fees

mehefin

Florenceem..re your bookbuying: its always worth asking at your local library to see if they have the "missing" volumes.

Floss

gettingthrifty said:

... Would value anyones thoughts on how you deal with this when it makes you come to a halt - i havent been able to  declutter and only low level function since . Crazy i know. Any thoughts? 

Personally I take those situations as an attack on me & my self-worth, they make you doubt everything you thought & felt and its a natural reaction to hide away and live one's wounds. Your lack of function is your brain's way to process & deal with this (That's where the TLC carriage comes in). 

TC77

@Dfw38 sorry I meant to say we had a deferred charge for the care home.
@gettingthrifty I agree with floss about your brain and body's way of dealing with things, and being kind to yourself is important, we can be very harsh on ourselves and self compassion can be difficult. Take some time in the TLC carriage, there are many of us there for short and longer periods of time. Take care
@vulpix, my friend's mum lived in Holmfirth and she is in Scotland and will be moving there during the year. Will give you a shout when I get there. Interested in how the book restoration goes, I think it is so worth getting some things restores/repaired.

Soontobeoap

@Dfw38 how i feel for you. We went through all this 4 years ago with 3 parents at once. Each circumstance very different each one very complex. In our situation the siblings worked well together and reached agreements well in the best interests of our parents. We are both one of 4 but it was exhausting. Our parents were the ones thinking that they could cope alone when they really couldnt. As you have said making sure that they have the best care and that you keep your relationship with them is the key. Evenrually my parents left us their house but i wish that they had spent it on their care so that we could have enjoyed our last years with them and avoided the mental anxiety. My sister is still struggling with her mental health now. Please look after yourself. Step back for a few days just to reset. Go out for a day  with your lovely family. Anything that will take your mind off it and give you time to put it all into prospective. I planted a forsythia bush in my garden 4 years before Dad died as his dementia and being scared changed him so much. It was so much easier to seperate the Dad i had grow. Up with from tbe angry man he became. I know that your situation is different but remember that you are not alone. Good luck with it all

wort

I used to love house doctor too, I had totally forgot about that one. With regard to the comment of hers about real estate , it reminded me about the minimal mom she regards your stuff as inventory and refers to it like having a shop and it taking up space and time as it needs managing. As you have to remember it all in your head ,clean it up ,move it around ,make sure it’s still needed, and if it’s been saved for Justin then can you find it when it’s needed ? Or even remember you have it ! 

Leaflets and momento s could be arranged in a frame in a collage such as the war ration book and egg leaflet if you wanted to keep them.

Packing boxes , I would ask at all the big supermarkets, and remember you won’t want all large boxes, some small ones for smaller items and to keep the weight in them manageable. A huge box full of books will be very heavy and collapse when lifting. I’d get a good marker pen and label boxes as you do them , the room they will be going into and what’s in them. Also keep a box for items you need last at the old house and straight away at the new house, so cleaning stuff, and kettle and tea making items. Good luck with your move.

Hugs for all that need them , the days are getting slightly longer and the bulbs are starting to sprout up bringing us all hope of a brighter time to come. X

wort

Regarding furniture etc if you phone British heart foundation they used to come and pick up furniture and also just bags of clothes, I don’t know if this is still the case, it may depend where you live. They used to give a date they would collect and I would leave outside.