Money Moral Dilemma: Should I send Christmas cards to my partner's family who don't send them to us?

confusedgranny

Back in the days when stamps were 1d my aunt receive a letter with a poem

I'm alright
Hope you're alright
Give the postman tuppence
And he'll be alright

JoJo58

Hi, I stopped sending cards many years ago.  People I see, I wish them Happy Christmas face to face, and if I don't see them but still think of them and want to maintain some contact, I pick up the phone and catch up!  So much nicer than a bland 'Happy Christmas, hope all's well with you' (and much more sincere).  I can quite see why you want to maintain contact with your partner's side of the family, on his behalf, but it's often the case that it doesn't matter to them like it does to us!  We're all wired differently!

pyjamadayschill

Stop sending cards to them. That tells you they obviously don’t want to exchange cards.  

Ringo90

You don't have any duty to do this, but I suppose you've been doing it because it makes you happy in a way. And this is really nice. I would say, stop when it doesn't make you happy anymore. There is no rule on this, everyone is different. Some people feel better when they keep doing nice gestures even if they don't receive anything back, but of course no one would blame you if you stopped at any time.

If your partner's family is from a different country, has a different religion or culture, please consider that might be partially the reason why. For example, where I come from we celebrate Christmas, birthdays etc. and we exchange gifts but there is no strong tradition of exchanging cards as in Britain. No one sends gives cards or sends them through the post. I'm not trying to justify them though, even if they don't have this custom, they should at least acknowledge your gesture in any other way.
I suspect there might be bad blood between them and your partner and maybe even something you don't know about it...

Chris_Jay

@elizabethhull. Thank you! Like you, I love getting real cards at Christmas and my birthday! eCards are great for the family and friends who live abroad, and I use Jacquie Lawson's site for random, and quick, notes all through the year, though the subscription price has shot up again this year, so it may be the last time I renew.
I think the OP needs to talk with her other half, unless that's been tried and he's not interested in taking the lead here. If that's the case, then make the decision that suits you! It's not for me to advise on this, as I don't know how I would deal with a similar situation! I'm sorry, that's not very satisfactory for you, but it's all I can offer.
Just have a good Christmas!

RPye

As someone with a similar family of in laws that are rarely in contact, I reserve cards and presents only for special birthdays. I haven't sent a present or card in years. We used to send presents to the children for both Christmas and birthdays, but now it's just Christmas as they're growing up.

jacko220

I would just send them, it will make you feel good.

KxMx

I tend to get one or two packs of 10 directly from my charity of choice.
I then work my way down from most important as to who gets one, and when the cards are used up I stop.
I send cards because I enjoy it and don't necessarily expect everyone to send one back. 
If you aren't enjoying it for financial reasons, or are just fed up, then absolutely feel guilt free about stopping. 

Fluffy_Hedgehog

No way!! Save your money and energy!  Dip your hand in a bucket of water, remove it, and see the hole remaining, that is how much you will be missed by your partner's family.    They certainly won't be rushing to comfort you if you fall on hard times.  God chooses your family.  I learnt a long while ago to be thankful to  God that I can choose my friends

REJP

THV said:

Stop sending cards. With Royal Mail on strike - there's no guarantee they'd get there.  Or if you really want to send a card - send it with no stamp on and let them moan about paying the postage.

Not a good idea really.  That would not help whatever relationship partner has with family.  Simpler to just let him deal with his own family matters.  There is no rule which says cards have to be sent especially when his relatives are not responding.  No dilemma here.