Prosperous soul, mortgage neutrality & creativity Year 2

beanielou

The little critters seem to be very abundant at the moment.

Glad that your appointment went well.
So glad that I am away from BG.

EssexHebridean

It's the time of year for fleas to be abundant sadly.

Do you think that the undecided feeling about moving could also be related to the  meds giving you more clarity of thought about what you want to do/what might be best in the longer term? 

Also related to the meds - a good time probably to step away from weighing yourself more than once weekly - the fluctuation in weight at the weekend could be related to all sorts of things, definitely not just the lack of meds, which is why a weekly weigh-in for those who want to weigh is generally considered to be a better indicator of what is actually going on than daily ones which inevitably give a fluctuating picture. (And particularly in women!) 

Glad to hear the appointment had a good outcome, surgery avoidance is generally good if possible I reckon! 

Merlin's_Beard

Would definitely not re-apply any treatment more often than it says to do - it is possible to overdose animals on flea treatment. The over the shelf ones can take several days to kill a flea (and dying ones are slower so will get caught in the comb more), and there will be new ones constantly hatching out in the house and jumping on your cat to bite them, so you will see fleas for quite a while. A marathon not a sprint!

Definitely agree with EH about the weight fluctations - mine can go up and down like nobodies business without it meaning much. Long term trends are far more important.

Glad your appointment went well!

savingholmes

Thanks Sandy, EH, Beanie and Merlin

Will try and stay the course on the cat.

EH and Merlin - you are probably right on the weighing. I'm just trying to stay on track and encourage myself - but you are right once a week would be more logical. It's a requirement of the meds to weigh weekly - as the meds I'm on are known to impact weight in a good way for the over-weight but a potentially dangerous way for anyone under-weight or at the right weight already.

Very relieved on the surgery avoidance. I can also stop beating myself up about neglecting that area of self-care too now I'm actively taking steps to resolve it.

EssexHebridean said:

Do you think that the undecided feeling about moving could also be related to the  meds giving you more clarity of thought about what you want to do/what might be best in the longer term? 

Fantastic question. Yes it could be linked to the meds. I didn't realise until I went on them how impulsive I was - partly because I use my journal to weigh out big decisions and decide the pros and cons etc - I'd fooled myself into thinking I was less impulsive than I am.

I often write stuff and then make myself delete it on here and on emails and in RL often over-share. If there's a keep off the grass sign - it's like a dare or as in Dr Who a big red button that says do not press automatically makes me want to press it as hard and as fast as possible. Therefore all the people in RL who cautioned against moving all provoke my inner rebel etc... I'm only just starting to realise how big a factor that is in my life... TBF an overly controlling upbringing didn't help either.

As it gets into winter - the thought of moving an hour away and adding 40-70 minutes to a typical journey seems a lot less appealing. I am also finally getting some medical care for long standing issues and wouldn't want to have to start again somewhere else and be at the back of the queue again. 

Now DD is pretty much gone and I've adjusted to that - life it automatically falling into a different rhythm. Plus as @Crystal and others suggested would happen - now my house is largely clutter free / what remains is hidden - then it's not the distracting burden / to do list it was before. My cleaner is also continuing to help me tackle the more hidden things like my car boot - she couldn't believe how much could be stored in there!!! The weeds in my garden need some attention as its been too rainy for the handyman to bother coming but other than that things are pretty under control. 

This bank holiday weekend felt like the first time ever where I didn't have a huge list of house related tasks to do. In some ways I felt I 'wasted' the weekend - but I realised on Monday how much I'd needed the rest and that what little I'd done (shopping for clothes, eating out, listening to books) was perfect. I normally 'over-stuff' my time in the same way I used to over-stuff my house - and I'm trying to practice more self care and not have the constant list of performance type tasks I have to do or even fun activities - if in real terms I'm too exhausted to do them.

I think the biggest thing missing from my life currently is more social meet ups. But my current best friend outside of work has been away a lot over the summer dealing with an elderly relative - and another friend is literally away in another county helping out her sister - so that has naturally impacted our ability to meet up. I've been trying to challenge myself this week on how I can overcome my autistic reluctance to socialise so I have some hope of making new friends. I am thinking of trying some weekend or one off art and craft type groups in the area to see if they help. In the past, pre-divorce I got my main friendships via church but have stopped going - but not replaced it with anything consistent. I'm thinking of cancelling my gym membership as I just can't seem to make myself go in practice. I do need to do something different though.

Merlin's_Beard

Are there any friendships from church that you could rekindle outside of that setting or were they more situational without enough foundation to survive without that framework?

(Or I guess more to the point are there friendships that you would want to try and sustain or nurture outside that setting?)

I can definitely sympathise with the inner rebel and being overly influenced by others - I've deliberately tried to keep family out of my house so that my house is full of my opinions, instead of my reaction to their opinion. If I get too many other people's voices in my head I lose any sight of what I actually need or want.

beanielou

Have you thought of meet up?

Sunshine_girl2

beanielou said:

Have you thought of meet up?

That's a good one . 

Honeysucklelou2

Are there any evening classes you might enjoy? This is the time of year when many are starting.

Fortune_Smiles

There's always the Womens' Institute.  I'm a big fan as you know as I feel they are a fantastic support network.  Maybe visit a few to see which one you like as they are all different. The first couple of meetings are usually free and you can be a dual member if you have the time for two.

It can be daunting walking into a group you don't know.  I always offer to meet up with new members for a coffee before a main meeting so at least they know me and maybe some of the Committee before attending.

As well as your own WI, there is usually a larger area group you are part of and then the County group plus the National Federation.  All organise meetings and trips which you can choose to attend if they appeal.  Also workshops and courses.

Fortune x

jwil

I have the inner rebel as well,  it's hard to get past!

Sounds like things are all becoming much clearer for you now, and great that the house is no longer a big 'to do' list, giving you time to focus on yourself and life.