Diary of a 30-something idiot

enthusiasticsaver

I would agree that selling both sounds sensible and getting one economical car. Less on maintenance, insurance and general running costs. You don’t actually drive do you?

foxandflowers

Some days are days that you put on a proper bra and face the world. 

I've had clarification regarding my spinal increase which will be in August, and then again in April 2025. This time next year then, or close to it, I will be £1300 better off. The same job in the main city fwiw pays 4k a year more - but then you have the higher cost of living in a city. And I don't want to move again. Apparently there is also a market supplement as we are not appropriately renumerated for our work - but I don't know if I'm eligible for that. Everyone else has been getting £1250 every 3 months. And it is due to end either in March or June - but there is talk that they will be a reassessment of job grading, in which case I would go up a grade, and therefore this time next year would be £6k better off... I realistically need to stop daydreaming about the future and work on now though. 

So I have totally fallen off the wagon in the last week and haven't posted anything on Vinted. I've also not done any surveys, or used InboxPounds for a bit. So that will be brought back into the fold. I've got £7.91 in IP and £2.10 pending in 24 hours which is not bad going. You can withdraw to Paypal once you have £5. I have balanced the budget enough that any Vinted sales etc should be able to be used to fund the Emergency Fund rather than just hand to mouth, waiting for £3 to clear to be able to buy bread and milk. It has been a LONG two months. I am quietly impressed that I have almost made it to the end of February and have only bought myself 7 things this year. There's a couple of things on Vinted that I'm eyeing up, but I will wait. 

I've also decided I have been tackling the budget entirely wrong. I've been working from 1st of each month, which is backwards as I get paid on the 27th. So I think I have more money than I do, and somehow its a shock every month when it runs out four days in. So new plan. Put everything into the allocated pots on Monzo as per the Budget I have set up. This is set to auto transfer on pay day (one week to go!). £970 into Bills (this includes savings transfers) £400 into Groceries (with a separate virtual card to pay for food only) £180 into Fuel (separate virtual card here too) £10 for DD (school trips etc.) £80 into holidays/camping fund to prepare for summer, £80 into the insurance/MOT pot, and £80 into the home reno fund. At the END of the month, so on the 26th if there is anything left in those pots - that is the time to aggressively pay off the £300 on Mr Fox's credit card, which will then be our initial EF. / buy a little treat.

So here is the budget for March. All the crossed through things are things that have been cancelled, or sacrificed as there is no room in the budget for them. Budget will be posted on the 20th of each month, and will be amended as things go up/down. 



There is £0.62p unaccounted for... I'm trying a budget where every penny has a job, and therefore I have no excuses to over/underspend! (The Book club Cash is £2.50 and I forgot to write it in before I posted this!!)

Petal88

Just saying hi - I've been lurking so far but read every single post

You're doing so well! When that Tesco mobile expires in June you'll be able to save another £45 a month I reckon! When is the Vodafone contract expiring? If not in a contract there are much better deals to be had!

Any chance of the food shop coming down a little bit? I suppose everything has skyrocketed in price though...

foxandflowers

@Petal88 Hiya

Tesco is normally £35 but I've fallen behind on payments, so have to play catchup for three months. Both in contract for a while sadly. 

The food shop SHOULD be coming down - that £430 is a guesstimate based on £100 + a bottle of wine each week - but I also know realistically we can probably get it for less if I am careful about meal planning. Not sure I'm willing to give up the weekend wine though 🍷Although I may exchange it for a monthly nail appointment at some point... Doing the weekly shop with Asda has already reduced my spends, so I'm hoping that at the end of March I should have at least £50 left in that pot. 

And my friend E will be paid back fully, next month I will pay friend C back £50 and she will be fully paid off, and then I am going to be £65 better off again, although at that point the April increases will hit, and I will probably be very grateful for the extra money to cover bills.

SuzeQStan

Hey Fox - is this the 2nd month the DMP payment has been missed?

foxandflowers

Hi @Suze - its the third... Dec/Jan/Feb have all been missed  
I'm still playing catch-up from Christmas. Once April has been and gone, I will have to start a Christmas Pot because  I absolutely cannot go through another Christmas that then throws me off for three months. It's not worth it. I have birthdays in April and May that need presents, but that's a worry for once I've caught up on the bills. 

I was speaking to my uncle and he made a very salient point about if I give my word to pay someone back and don't pay them, then my word isn't worth anything. And if my word isn't worth anything, then what is? I have complicated feelings around debt, and that while it is technically morally neutral to have debt, I feel a lot of guilt for the situation I am in. Stepchange is joint debts - not just mine. If it was just mine, it would be about 17k, but Mr Fox took out a loan for a conservatory in our second to last house, because I couldn't get one due to my credit, so that's 11.8k still left on that with Stepchange - and that is only there because of a decision we made together. So it doesn't feel right to separate them out. But I feel like while debt itself is morally neutral, my decision making has not always been morally neutral. I have been pressured whether overtly or otherwise in some situations to spend money that I did not have. I used money I didn't have to try and improve my failing mental health. I have been overly generous to people (including an ex-friend who still owes me £670 and I have close to no hope to getting it back). Everything I have done has been to keep other people happy, often at my own expense, and by extension at expense of my word. It's complicated. 

OtterSaves

Really good points, @foxandflowers. Sounds like you are really coming to terms with what has led you to this debt cycle. 
I really hope you can find a way to keep focus on moving some of those bigger rocks in your life (expensive van, lack of second income) that are going to make much more difference than (for example) stressing out over buying yourself an item of clothing you need to feel professional or a proportionate birthday gift. Or what can be earned on the survey sites, to let you take day off! 
Sometimes I struggle with understanding the magnitude of difference in money (e.g. we are looking at a wedding photographers and one cost is £850 and one is £1200 which compared with all the other costs doesn't seem much but IS £350 which is a lot of money to me). 

iza_belle1

Hi, another lurker here! Could you cancel Spotify family and just use the free version? The ads can be a bit annoying, but would save you £17.99 per month? 

SuzeQStan

foxandflowers said:

Hi @Suze - its the third... Dec/Jan/Feb have all been missed  
I'm still playing catch-up from Christmas. Once April has been and gone, I will have to start a Christmas Pot because  I absolutely cannot go through another Christmas that then throws me off for three months. It's not worth it. I have birthdays in April and May that need presents, but that's a worry for once I've caught up on the bills. 

I was speaking to my uncle and he made a very salient point about if I give my word to pay someone back and don't pay them, then my word isn't worth anything. And if my word isn't worth anything, then what is? I have complicated feelings around debt, and that while it is technically morally neutral to have debt, I feel a lot of guilt for the situation I am in. Stepchange is joint debts - not just mine. If it was just mine, it would be about 17k, but Mr Fox took out a loan for a conservatory in our second to last house, because I couldn't get one due to my credit, so that's 11.8k still left on that with Stepchange - and that is only there because of a decision we made together. So it doesn't feel right to separate them out. But I feel like while debt itself is morally neutral, my decision making has not always been morally neutral. I have been pressured whether overtly or otherwise in some situations to spend money that I did not have. I used money I didn't have to try and improve my failing mental health. I have been overly generous to people (including an ex-friend who still owes me £670 and I have close to no hope to getting it back). Everything I have done has been to keep other people happy, often at my own expense, and by extension at expense of my word. It's complicated. 

I hear you Fox - but unfortunately the debt is all yours as Mr Fox doesn’t seem to want to help pay the debt off by providing a wage of any sort.

sorry but I want to give him a figurative head wobble.

have you kept up comms with Stepchange do they know what’s been happening last few months? 

foxgloves

That's some philosophical thinking you've been doing there, @foxandflowers, & it's got me thinking too. I have been pondering on & off today whether I agree that debt is always "morally neutral". I'm not sure I have come to any firm conclusions about that. While it may be "morally neutral", I think is is often irresponsible. I say that not in judgement because I came to budgeting much later in life than was sensible, & despite being very much a reformed character these days, I have certainly been an over-spender for more of my adult life than I have been a responsible budgeter. I overspent my income every month for very many years, as did my partner. When we got together, we continued to overspend out joint income until finally, in my early 40s, the LBM struck big-time & I said 'Enough'. 
So debt as 'morally neutral'. That would mean it is neither 'good' nor 'bad', it simply 'is'. I can go along with that, I think in most cases, but not in all cases. For example, if I had borrowed money from a family member or friend & not repaid it, I don't think I could describe that as 'morally neutral' because my action would have had an adverse impact on another person. I think also if I had chosen to heap borrowing upon borrowing upon yet more borrowing knowing that realistically I wasn't going to be in much of a position to pay it back, I am not sure that is a neutral position. I'm not talking about someone losing their job, then the roof caves in sort of emergency borrowing, more the endless buying of unnecessary stuff - the sort of spending I used to do multiple times a week back in the Spendy Years.
While you are in a philosophical mood, this is something which helped me when I was working at getting our household fully debt-free. It's about how we look at money. This has been very much skewed by availability of borrowing, creating a false belief that credit cards & loans are just more of 'our money'. They really are not. I know I bang on about this, but it has been key to getting myself & my partner debt-free after years of failing to budget & constant overspending. If you have to put it on a credit card, overdraft or take out or extend a loan to pay for whatever it is, then you can't afford it. That is somebody else's money, not yours. The amount coming into your household each month is YOUR money, There isn't any more. None. That is all you have. So your outgoings HAVE to fall within that, starting with the essential ones. That is the bottom line on which all budgets hinge. Another is that essential bills aren't optional. I think you are making good progress with some aspects of your thinking, but I am concerned for you that you are falling behind with your Stepchange payments and seem still to be running out of money with a lot of month still to go. It must sometimes feel very stressful.
I hope this doesn't sound too much of a ramble. It's just that I found your thoughts about debt being 'morally neutral' really thought-provoking & it got me pondering the nature of debt more generally. I have been there, so am not holding myself up as the life-long holder of a shiny halo.
You write very engagingly & I would like to see you succeed.
F x