Diary of a 30-something idiot

SuzeQStan

Just looked up SHTF lol - good idea 😊👍🏻

foxandflowers

Only another £5 of stuff to sell and I'll have enough to pay the electrician

I shudder to think how much money I've 'lost' overall, but I also know sunk cost fallacy is not real, and I'd rather have the cash than clutter. 9 items, 2 different shops to go to. Will see if Mr Fox fancies walking the dog at the same time. 

And will also dig out another bag to list, for definite. Vinted have a new feature where they show you your lifetime earnings, and since February 2023 I have earned £1300, not including the last 24 hours of sales. What I currently have listed would net another £274.50 - which would be enough to pay off the credit card. 

I'm working the election on Thursday, and then on Friday it is Sports Day at school, and I will be tackling the "stuff that can go for sale" piles in the garage, in order to make room to move the remaining stuff from the shed. Hopefully we can get stuff gone, and I can have enough money to make a couple of targeted payments to the credit card, buy a couple of tins of paint and sandpaper, and put some more money into the SHTF pot. 

PS. If anyone is interested - in terms of banks - with Chase I ended the month with 25p interest, and £8.80 in my roundups pot. I have £178.94 in that account. and £210.72 in my Monzo. I have £258.98 left of fixed expenses to come out this month - largely, the 2x mobile phone bills, Monzo perks (which I ought to cancel, but I have a family and friends railcard via it that works out as £1.92 a month, which is cheaper than I'd get one normally), home insurance and van insurance. And the dog food. 
So without Vinted that leaves me with £130.68 available, or £181.18 available counting my sales. £221.18 including the SHTF pot. £95 of that has to pay the Electrician on Saturday. I have 11 days until I get £102.40 of Child Benefit, and 15 days until I get £124.31 Child Maintenance, and 25 days until the next payday. I fear I may have slightly overcommitted myself, once again. 

stymied

Out of curiosity, how do the boys have money to spend in the pub while you and therefore the means of payment are at home? Do they take the £20 general cash for the month?

Amazing work on getting so much done!

foxandflowers

@stymied it comes from the eating out budget for the month. doesn't happen often, and luckily we only bought a drink each, FIL paid for the rest. 

Deleting the rest of this as its potentially too outing, and although I'm still cross, I'm not sure posting that here will help. 

WinterWarrior

Don’t get any more tobacco….honestly, just say it’s not in the budget and stand firm! Can you imagine a different life fox, where there is just you and mini fox and no one being rude to you? You work too hard to put up with that and deserve so much better. 

vampirotoothus

Dear Fox, please do yourself an SOA with no Mr Fox and step-family on there. See what life could be like. No need to share. Wishing you the best life V x

MeandO

foxandflowers said:

 and got told to "hurry up and eff off". 

Fox, this is not a marriage or a partnership. If I had a husband who ever spoke to me like that with such disrespect, we wouldn't be married for long. Is this really the example you want your daughter to grow up around? 
He is using you to furnish his lazy, do-nothing, get everything-he-wants lifestyle. He is using you. 
The minute you start to get annoyed or raise the issue of you doing everything, he throws some minimal token effort your way and you believe he's a changed man. I'm sorry if this upsets you, but you and mini Fox would be SO much better off without him and you'd actually have a crack at having a happy, affordable and much less stressful life. It's never going to get any better whilst you stay with him.

millymolly22

Unfortunately it's time for you to use the word No.  What would happen if you said that to him?  You had such a productive and positive weekend and he has just walked all over you again.
Why is your stepson living with you now?  I suspect it's because he is living a life just like his father and whoever he was living with before had had enough.
We all want the best for you.  You're a hard working woman and you deserve better.

kayannie

MeandO said:

foxandflowers said:

 and got told to "hurry up and eff off". 

Fox, this is not a marriage or a partnership. If I had a husband who ever spoke to me like that with such disrespect, we wouldn't be married for long. Is this really the example you want your daughter to grow up around? 
He is using you to furnish his lazy, do-nothing, get everything-he-wants lifestyle. He is using you. 
The minute you start to get annoyed or raise the issue of you doing everything, he throws some minimal token effort your way and you believe he's a changed man. I'm sorry if this upsets you, but you and mini Fox would be SO much better off without him and you'd actually have a crack at having a happy, affordable and much less stressful life. It's never going to get any better whilst you stay with him.

I completely agree. No way should you be spoken to in that way. Next time he demands you get him tobacco, tell him to get it himself - if he hasn't got the money to pay for it, then tough! 

As nice a boy as you say your stepson is, he needs to pay his way. If he won't give you any money towards his keep, would he help by doing some jobs around the house such as cleaning the kitchen?

You cannot continue working all day and then come home to face a situation such as you did yesterday. It's not good for your health as well as being unpleasant for your daughter to witness. It's time to start putting yourself & your daughter before anyone else. Next time you come in to a messy kitchen, close your eyes & try to ignore it, or at least leave cleaning it until the weekend when hopefully you might have more time.

Take care xx
KA

uralmaid

Why should he change when everything is done for him and paid for by someone else's hard work?  All he does is add more expense and more work by bringing in his kids.  While ever he is in the equation nothing will change I am afraid.  It is very hard to make the break but you have to consider your daughter.  What kind of example is this for her? Plus she no doubt has to go without things in order to satisfy his needs and wants. Only Fox can change this, but working yourself into the ground will not solve it.