Diary of a 30-something idiot

MFWannabe

stymied said:

It just feels too risky to me. All too often the house you’re looking to purchase doesn’t work out, then all the money from the car would be gone on sunk costs and you’d be no further forward. Or as you said yourself, it would be disastrous.

The Stepchange managed debt realistically doesn’t matter - £99 per month and it’s out of mind.

You have a house with the right number of bedrooms in your dream area that has a lot of potential. Sort the income situation by claiming what you’re entitled to and you should be reasonably comfortable especially with your pay rises coming up x

This 👆100%

enthusiasticsaver

I think you need to be very careful you don’t buy a house which needs a lot of work. A survey is essential.

Have yu got Mr F to transfer part of his tax allowance to you?  If you check the Martin Lewis show from last week he said you only have a few weeks to back claim for the last 4 years. That would be £1000. It is very easy to do. 

warby68

I very much wish we could persuade you of the risk of yet another property move- almost all of your history suggests this is a bad idea. You have lost so much of your inheritance already and changed almost none of the behaviours which caused that - money still slips through your fingers as soon as you have any. Budgets are made but never kept, even for a week.

However I suspect you will plough on regardless to get your perceived easy option. I'm not sure you even appreciate that your wage will still be all you have to spend once the dust has settled and that it doesn't go anywhere near what you want it to. I'm sorry for your daughter too, seemingly quite low in the priorities, her security dwindling and a fair bit of instability as you make decisions which favour others who you are not directly responsible for.

I know you are trying to change but you are changing very little very slowly which makes me feel this forum cannot really help you and that something more professional is needed. I appreciate you have diagnoses which can be detrimental to financial management and decision making so that makes it seem even more of a need.

The threads which always touch me the most are where adults are making decisions which potentially harm their children and that's why I am saying this now. People will support you as best they can but its getting harder.

Meant with the best of intentions as always.

SuzeQStan

Fox - please take a breath and think about whether this is an impulsive decision you will come to regret

Purplelady65

I agree with every word warby68 has posted. You seem to be on a path to self destruction. I agree I think you need some professional help to look at your impulsive behaviours, decision making skills and your attitudes to money and debt before you lose everything. 

helensbiggestfan

Fox.  Please listen to the advice you have been given.  Do not sell your home again.  You will have nothing and as others have pointed out you are robbing your daughter of her security and future.  

What will you do when the money is gone and you are still in debt up to your eyeballs. Because the debts will just keep mounting unless you change your ways.  Sorry to be so blunt but please let this be your wake up call.  

stymied

I actually think you've come a massively long way since the start of your diary in understanding the things that work for you and it's giving you a strong foundation to work on. Setting up the standing order to your friend, getting all the bills (except the phones) moved to just after payday and getting all the possible debts managed by Stepchange seem to be working well. I wonder if you could do one big shop then first week of the month rather than 4 smaller shops, concentrating on stocking up on staples and getting reheatable meals into the freezer so you don't literally run out of food in week 3 of the month? Or maybe seal actual cash into envelopes for weeks 2, 3 & 4 so the money is not in your account to spend off budget or give to OH. The only thing I find works for me to reduce food spends is to shop 3 times a month rather than 4. So either every 10 days rather than 7, or do a store cupboard week on one of the weeks. You're doing great! Xx

kayannie

Just wondering - if you do go ahead & move again, where does that leave your daughter regarding school? Will she still be able to attend the same school or will she have to start over in a new school where she won't know anyone? Also, if you do move to a new area, will she be leaving behind friends? Either of these scenarios would be a lot for her to deal with. 
KA

Karonher

You have done amazingly well on your own.

One thing that keeps being mentioned is OH claiming benefits. I am sure there are people better informed than me, but I thought there was then a commitment required to be actively looking for work or it will be stopped. I know when I claimed in 2011 I had to go in and sign every two weeks and prove what I had done to try and get a job. There were also update meetings and training required. Would he do this do you think?

MFWannabe

Hope you’re okay @foxandflowers x