Feeling low, sorry for myself etc

littlegreenparrot

My suggestion is that you find something new to learn that interests you. 

A craft, a new language, how to paint, it doesn't matter what really. Just something that can act as a focus, and that you are in charge of, so effort is rewarded and you feel good for getting better at it. 
It can also help provide a bit more structure to the day which can help. 

Years ago when suffering with depression I decided I was going to try and learn to knit, I remain very bad at it! But at the time it worked a treat, I was so focused on what I was trying to do that everything else went away. 

Future learn offers many free, online courses. They are associated with open university so is a proper level. Worth looking at the list of everything to see what catches your eye. You could also get in touch with the local college and see what adult education courses are happening in the spring term. Often the local library has those details if its easier. 

Voluntary work might also be something to explore, it also provides that external focus and knowing that you have helped improve someone's day can be very powerful. 

lady1964

sheramber said:

Make a point of going for a walk every day.,even just a short distance.

Getting out in the fresh air  and topping up your vitamin D  does help. Especially when there are less daylight hours. 

You need a purpose.

Do you have a hobby you could get involved in or think about one to take up?

What about tracing your family tree? That can occupy many hours and can be quite interesting finding out about your ancestors.

I go out for a walk every day, I try to do about an hour’s walk, or upwards of 3 miles at a brisk pace. This really helps my mental health, aside from weight loss and toning up, which I’m on a programme to do anyway.

I’m early retired, DH is still working we’re extremely lucky, we’re mortgage free and financially comfortable but I really worry about my DD’s covering their mortgage/rent, bills and especially childcare, which is horrendously expensive. They know we will help if needed but I do need to trust that they will cope and I’m sure they will.

Brie

I'm another who has turned off the news.  So rather than Radio 4's doom and gloom waking me at 6 am I've opted for some classical stuff from Radio 3 that gives about 2 minutes of news a couple of times an hour - more than sufficient.  I do find the whole nasty nonstop repetition of disaster - Brexit/Ukraine/Climate/Finance/Politics - so undermining.  I am not pretending it hasn't/isn't happening but I don't need to focus on it 24/7.

Having been made redundant I decided I didn't need/want a full time job as I want to spend time with him indoors - even if that means both of us doing different things in different rooms all day.  Sometimes we go out together.  Sometimes we go off and do our own jolly things.  Sometimes we do dreadful things - today it was Ikea.  Yuck!! (but the meatballs were nice).  I've picked up a nice very part time job doing something that makes me feel good about myself - so I'm out of the house (& OH can play his music at volume), I earn a small amount, and I can come home with something to waffle on about in the evening.

lincroft1710

Interest rates have been so ridiculously low for years, it was patently clear they could never stay that low. The highest they have been was 13%! A 1968 ad for a small local building society quotes 7%. Between 5% and 7% was the norm for many decades.


Your children are adults and have to make their own way in the world. I'm sure you and Mrs D have brought them up to take responsibility. If you can give them a little helping hand - good. If not, well you have to cut the apron strings at some time.


Never worry about something you cannot change or influence. 


As for nuclear war, people have been worrying about this, on and off, for 75 years! 


Just get on with life, I'm older than you and also with health problems and every morning I wake up and think "oh I'm still here then!"

RAS

A couple of things; you mention health issues. Are these definitely life restricting or just long term issues. I retired early because I realised that if I sat in an office every day my health would never improve. It took two years to start to improve but when I look back now, I can't believe the difference. 

I try to store up sunny days in the autumn and winter; the last camping trip before the summer buses stop; a walk to work with my sleeves rolled up on sunny morning in February, a trip to the seaside on a good day in November. It helps my brain get through to winter. I tend to see autumn as the precursor for spring and new life.

The other little tale is that I didn't fly until my late twenties, on a dismal English day. When we got to 30,000 feet the sun was shining. When I see another grey day, I try to remember that somewhere up there the sun is shining, even if I can't see it. Works most of the time.

And I'm a gardener who has been scolded for looking out of the window and exclaiming "Thank heavens it's raining." Too much of anything is bad for the environment, us and other creatures but a bit too much at any time needs to be balanced by a bit too much of the opposite sometime sooner. Try to think about the planet trying to balance the needs longer term.

And I'd refer you to my (bastardised) version of the Serenity prayer.

Please grant me the serenity to accept that which cannot be changed
the courage to do something about those things I can change,
And the wisdom to know the difference 

diystarter7

Thank you all. All comments are appreciated and helpful
The sad thing is I used to tell others to not to feel sorry for themselves.
I had waterworks cancer as posted got all clear but it can come back and that really now is no big deal as I have, heading towards possibly something else they monitor me but it depresses me. However, as I said  before there are many worse off thean me as least I cando most things for my age
Mrs Diy tells me off as do the kids as being too depressed will lead to problems even earlier.
Up until 2/3 motnhs ago I'd go out for a brisk walk of about 30-40 mins 5/6 days a week and then me and Mrs D would go out for a walk togeher a bit of shoping and eat a little bite but not now
Your efforts to help me have helped and as I;ve taken up your time, I will act on those when I can so thank you.

CKhalvashi

DIY, get yourself back out walking and for a coffee in a cafe most days, you'll meet new people, talk a lot more and this generally can make you feel better. I've always found when working from home (which when only dealing with e-mails and not speaking to anyone but OH for the day, which if she has 12 hours of work means spending 30 minutes with someone else in the day) this is a good way to break things up, meet people, get motivated etc.

It may also be worth looking at the European Christmas markets for gifts to give you something new and exciting. Krakow is overrated, but Gdansk and Wroclaw are lovely cities and can be done for not much more than £100 for 2 people, especially at this time of year (I've just paid £50-ish for a return flight for both of us while going to solve something for work, but also my birthday weekend, hotels aren't as cheap as they were but have booked around £65 for 2 nights in a 3 star hotel in the centre of Wroclaw). It's very often possible to pick up some bargains, so this can be roughly cost-neutral too compared to doing things in the UK.

Your children are adults. You're allowed to worry for them but always remember there are people who are far worse off than they are. If they are determined they will find their own way in life.

diystarter7

@CKhalvashi
Many thanks sadly I'm not a peoples type of man. I even dislike eating out or a cuppa as I feel unsettled and only do this during quiet times with my wife. Other than when on hols or weddings and staying at hotels i rarely eat out.
You too make many valid poisnts and these have also been noted and will try to act on them inc easting out more.

CKhalvashi

diystarter7 said:

@CKhalvashi
Many thanks sadly I'm not a peoples type of man. I even dislike eating out or a cuppa as I feel unsettled and only do this during quiet times with my wife. Other than when on hols or weddings and staying at hotels i rarely eat out.
You too make many valid poisnts and these have also been noted and will try to act on them inc easting out more.

That's fine, we're all different.

I personally often feel really bad when home alone all day, but have a really good support network in the community (and very often assist others when they need also), just sometimes need to go out and find it.

If you're in a city it may be different, but being outside or around something new is often the best thing for me personally, just may or may not work for you.

KxMx

Just a point on Vitamin D, the NHS page is worth a read, I don't wish to give medical advice against the rules of the forum, so I shall leave it to the NHS
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/vitamins-and-minerals/vitamin-d/