A Better Life.

beanielou

Keep plodding xx

weenancyinAmerica

Buffy - my mother was like that. Couldn't go out at all unless I found someone to sit with her. Learned to do the grocery shopping in half hour spurts. Even when she was in the nursing home, I had to go sit with her from 9 - 6 except when I went out for lunch. She was there for two months and then we had to bring her home as she was driving the nursing home crazy - would start singing Amazing Grace over and over again when I wasn't there. Rattled her roommates. When she was at home, I ended up sleeping on a chair in the living room as my room was upstairs and too far away. Had to have someone come in overnight so I could get some sleep. I just kept reminding myself that it will end eventually. And it did. She has been gone now for 15 years, and I still have flashbacks worrying about her. It is really hard when all of it falls on you. I have two sisters but they worked and didn't help out at all. I am still coming to terms with that part. Had to take early retirement too and so it has been hard financially. Just watch your health so that you make it through. Take it easy. Hugs.

Willowtree222

Thinking of you Buffy. Hoping you get that sanctuary you desperately need x

milann

Pleased you’re getting out for coffees. Take whatever time you can and when you can for yourself. 👍

Buffythedebtslayer

weenancyinAmerica said:

Buffy - my mother was like that. Couldn't go out at all unless I found someone to sit with her. Learned to do the grocery shopping in half hour spurts. Even when she was in the nursing home, I had to go sit with her from 9 - 6 except when I went out for lunch. She was there for two months and then we had to bring her home as she was driving the nursing home crazy - would start singing Amazing Grace over and over again when I wasn't there. Rattled her roommates. When she was at home, I ended up sleeping on a chair in the living room as my room was upstairs and too far away. Had to have someone come in overnight so I could get some sleep. I just kept reminding myself that it will end eventually. And it did. She has been gone now for 15 years, and I still have flashbacks worrying about her. It is really hard when all of it falls on you. I have two sisters but they worked and didn't help out at all. I am still coming to terms with that part. Had to take early retirement too and so it has been hard financially. Just watch your health so that you make it through. Take it easy. Hugs.

That is so hard. God it is so hard. I try to explain stuff to her but she just forgets, and I mean I do understand to a point, she is the adult in her world and she has always gone to bed when she wanted, eaten when she wants had tea when she wants - cos she was doing it all and to have me come along and be like............er when do you want dinner/tea/bedtime etc it drives her nuts. In the end I just do it and sometimes she is annoyed and sometimes she accepts it. I just feel like I am always waiting...........for her to finish dinner so I can clear up, for her to finish her tea so I can tidy up the kitchen for the carers, I just want to be done! But it is currently nearly 10.30 and she is bent double over her tea and I am waiting..................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

I will take a long time to sort out the family situation. It is very painful. I have trained myself to not think about it. It doesn't do me any good and they aren't going to change. 

Buffythedebtslayer

Having a conversation with my friend online tonight. 
I am not a live for today person and currently my future which is pretty bleak is terrifying so although I plan a lot and think about ways to do things here better I don't actually do them, I do bits of them.. but I don't finish anything. It is like I am paralysed, I don't want to bring the future on. Am just observing this about myself right now. Just wanted somewhere to write it down. 

XX

weenancyinAmerica

Hang in there. Hugs. I feel the same way - though now it is roommates with problems and a really bad financial situation that is giving me trouble. I have lost the ability to think about the future and make plans.

Sun_Addict

I learned to take things one day at a time when Mr SA was so poorly 10 years ago. If today was ok then it was a good one. I still maintain that outlook. I have friends who are currently living their best lives and realise the difference between them and me is (a) they aren’t a carer for anyone and (b) they have a huge support network of family and friends. 

Just keep on keeping on and enjoy the time you get to escape, it’s all you can do xx

Buffythedebtslayer

Yesterday was a low point. I threw my shoes at the wall in sheer frustration. I so lucky I have many good friends who talked me down and who love me and are there. 

It was a combination of things going wrong, mum being anxious about the dentist (which I do understand) and me being just so tired. I only sleep for around 5 hours a night and frankly this explains many of my problems. I know people sleep less than that and I am sorry if you do, really I am, but 5 hours is not enough for me. I need at least 7 I think. I can no longer nap cos of mum or the dogs. I did sleep this afternoon on the couch but it was really uncomfortable and hot. I love my room with the windows open and the breeze. 

Today was hard but better. The dentist was lovely. Mum was so brave. I cut half the grass and had fish for dinner. I decluttered some coats from the hall, going to sell one and charity the other. I am going to wash mum's coats
and see what she wants to do with them. 

I am going to lunch with my best friend tomorrow, also will cut the rest of the grass. 

XX 

Willowtree222

Having lunch out should be lovely. Hopefully it'll be a nice respite, if only for a few hours. 

I think we all wish we could help more on here. Big hugs x