Couples: what are your tips for managing joint finances?

ginger_chocolate

We each have different things we "deal with" - so I do home insuurance, mortgage and utilities, my partner does council tax, internet, TV & phone, and anything to do with the car. But we store all the documentation in a big file marked "house" or, if it's electronic, email it to each other.

JaneandBeth

I lost my husband several years ago but have three stepsons. I have a large envelope headed ‘After My Death’ and left on the computer desk. It has a list of my solicitors, the banks where my accounts are (but no account details), who to go to for heating, plumbing, electrical and household works, how the heating works (complicated system!), a list of the direct debits (some just appear as ‘Charity donation’ on statements so would be hard to trace, what to do with the pets if they can’t keep them…. 

I have also written a personal letter to the boys, telling them all the things I would want to say to them but may not be able to (if my mental faculties have deteriorated). This is important, as the one we found from our parents after their death gave my brothers and myself a lot of comfort. 

I keep these letters updated roughly every year, or if I change banks or anything needs to be deleted/added. The boys know where to find it but have not seen it yet.

HelenTaylor5

We have a WhatsApp group called finances which we are both in. If we shift money from one account to another to get better interest rates or anything like that, we post a summary in there so the other can see and then if withwr of us can’t remember what’s what we can look back through the chat. We can also post useful articles or info in there for each other or to refer back to. We do discuss too but it’s handy having a summary in there. 

RavingMad

We use a Tesco credit card and put all our monthly purchases through it. Through the app we can see how much has been spent and I'd like to think there's some protection if we encounter problems.

Consumerist

My OH doesn't like to get too involved with the family finances or discussing the unthinkable.

I draw up a Statement of Affairs on a regular basis and store it with my copy of my will which the OH knows where to find if the unthinkable happens.

squirrel59

Husband is in finance, deals with other people's figures all day long, and is not interested in anything but our bottom line. When I go away on a trip, point to my desk drawer and say 'Don't forget that's where all the bank details etc are', he just poo-poos. I'm fine with it, because that's exactly how my late husband was. He was in finance too, and he didn't want anything to do with our own finances, apart from the bottom line.
Forty years of looking after everything myself, I wouldn't want it to change now. If I should get run over by a bus I'm sure he'll get the hang of it pdq.

JaneandBeth

For those whose other half won’t take part in sharing the finances, or learning where things are, could I suggest going on strike fora month - say ‘I’m not going to do anything next month and you can pretend I’m not here, and see if you can cope.’ If you’re still together at the end of it(!)  they may see the wisdom of your words.

Savvy_Sue

We've veered from him keeping the books, to me doing it, starting because he just didn't have time and bank reconciliation was getting behind. 

It's not perfect ATM: we use Spendee, but we each have our own version and I'd like to see if we can update each others. I have a spreadsheet with all the income and regular expenditure showing. But we need to download the Spendee spreadsheets, combine them, and then add the regular stuff, and THEN have a conversation to see how we're managing, because I retired earlier this year and we're only just sorting out an annuity from my pensions. Before our pensions advisor tells me what I can get, I need to know if it's enough or if we need some of his pension! 

I have opened several bank accounts and shuffle money between them to get the benefits. He can login but rarely does. 

If anything happens to me before it does to him, he'd cope, but it would be interesting to start with. 

Rosa_Damascena

I can't imagine having to share my finances with anyone else. But should that change, I would expect joint finances to be managed jointly, with annual goals to keep things interesting.

subjecttocontract

Well, I bring the money into the house and my wife deals with all the finances (which means she spends it) on the basis of what's hers is hers and what's mine is hers. That way she says there can be no confusion. It seems to work ok, bills get paid, she's happy and I'm always sober.