Couples: what are your tips for managing joint finances?

MSE_Laura_F

Within couples, it can be common for one person to deal with all the home's money issues. (Maybe you're that 'one'?) But if that person is hit by one of the three Ds (death, divorce or dementia), things can become incredibly difficult.

Martin Lewis suggests one way of safeguarding against this: create a financial factsheet naming all product providers. Keep it somewhere safe, but don't add too many security details, just in case. Every few months, have a briefing to update and discuss.

How do you and your partner deal with the finances? We'd love your tips and stories.

This topic was also discussed in 2016, here: What's the best way for a couple to keep in financial contact... your tips wanted

pollypenny

Sit down and to it together - on a regular basis. 

I used to do all finances, then found myself having to tell OH 'no' to various expenditures. Felt like a parent with a little boy. 

We sit together on the first of the month, when most DDs go out and on the 15th when, coincidentally, we each have our pensions. 

Silvertabby

I deal with our pensions and tax, although as we are both now retired on a combination of public sector DB and the State pensions that has slipped into the 'easy do' category.

He deals with household bills, insurances, etc, but everything is well documented and a list of passwords and other necessary information is secured in a fireproof safe.

Once a year, we go through everything together and update our ins and outs.  Apart from our ISAs, we have always had a joint bank account - I know a lot of people on these boards won't agree with that, but it works for us, probably because we have similar attitudes to spending.

izawa

Both maintain own current accounts + 1 or more joint savings account. Have all DD from one account. Have a limit per current account. Once a month any amount in excess from the current account, goes to savings. Life is sweet.

newatc

I used to do it all myself because wife is not interested. During the last 3 years, I've tried very hard to get her involved with some success but she hates it. 
I keep spreadsheet(s) with all the details but there will be panic/confusion if she is left to do it all.
It's a big problem but one I have no answer to.

ColdPensioner

Joint accounts but viewed as 'his and hers', where £ is paid in.

Joint account gives access to £ if anything happens to either of us. 

DDs and annual stuff spread across the accounts randomly although my wife tends to pay food shopping and I car stuff and annual bills.

Holiday £ subject to negotiation, then I do as I'm told.

Sealate

We have separate accounts because I am retired but my wife still works.  The only bill she pays is the council tax - purely so she has her name on official paper.  I have a financial paper (word) which spells out everything - contact details, where, when and how to access.  This is encrypted and password protected and backed up.  It is kept up to date.  Having separate accounts mean no one imposes any restriction on the other regards spend - yes, I pay for everything like the car, mortgage (joint names), energy, insurances, holidays and trips.  We communicate with each other so there is no problem - it works for us.  I have relatives I trust to call on to help should the worst happen.  

MovingForwards

I deal with the financial side, my OH knows where all the money is, pensions etc, the usual bill suppliers / account numbers (already has log in details). Got a short and normal POA in case I'm incapacitated or worse, the will is also in the death folder.

JaneandBeth

Slightly different position jn that I am already widowed and one of my stepson, who lives here, is very competent financially.  I have written three papers - one is a list of all the household info such as who the solicitors are with the will, where the stopcock is, tradesmen to use for servicing boiler etc, how our unconventional heating system works etc, ; one is what to do with the pets if he can't keep them, who he should inform re my pension, my late husband's pension etc; and the third is a letter to him and his brothers just saying all the personal things that I would want to say to them, in case something happens to me suddenly and I am not able to say it. I think this is equally important as the financial and info pages. I update it every few months, re-date it and throw the previous copy out, putting it in an envelope  marked 'After My Death'. He hasn't read it but knows where it is, which is the main thing.

JimmySea

My wife and I both have jobs and our own bank accounts. Several bills come out of her account, several out of mine. Then at the start of each month, we have a 'receipts hour' where we look at what we spent last month, and make sure one hasn't paid more than the other (especially at Christmas when buying presents). We also have a Google spreadsheet, which both of us can access, with key financial details of our various providers. So if something happens to either of us, the other won't have the additional burden of financial unknowns. Plus, it's good for us both to regularly talk about our finances, and be financially nimble when life throws a curve ball.

EssexHebridean

I realised a few years ago now that we had slipped into a rut where I looked after pretty much everything on the financial side. In some ways it's logical - I'm the more organised one in terms of "life admin" and also less inclined to procrastinate about doing stuff, but I was also very aware that if anything DID happen to me he would be left floundering. We sat down one day and I said "enough" - and that he needed to at least start learning what happens when, for how much, and to which accounts. I still run things on a day-to-day basis but MrEH has a far clearer picture of our financial set up now. 

In terms of the "what if's" - all joint bills go through our joint account. Our long term savings are in places where either of us can access (ie joint savings) - the exception to this is Premium Bonds which yes, we are aware probate would be needed to access. We also both have ways of knowing what password "styles" each of us use for logins to various different types of organisation and so if needed we could get into each other's emails accounts etc. I make a point of forwarding important emails on financial things to him for information. I also keep a journal which has keypoints written down - although obviously not anything security sensitive!

And yes, we sit down once every 3 months roughly for a "financial summit" to discuss how things are going, whether anything needs to change etc. I also occasionally quiz him randomly about stuff just to make sure he's still "on the ball"- and these days it's rare I catch him out!