Couples: what are your tips for managing joint finances?

bandaid

We have been married for 45 years and I have always managed our finances. It started because I was working in a bank and in those days if you went overdrawn as a member of staff you could be fired. I have always used an accounting book, which has everything written in but I now use an electronic spreadsheet, which I email to myself just in case something happens to the master copy. Over the years I have always just kept my husband up to date verbally and every few months we sit down and go through things together. Because we are now retired I felt it was more important to have things written down so if anything happens to me he can pick up where I left off and if something were to happen to us both, our children should be able to access everything they need. I have a book that I update regularly with details of all accounts and bills that are paid. All this can be done electronically and is much easier to update if it is, I would just recommend password protecting everything. 

Zaka7

Hi all, I created an account specifically to add to this thread and hopefully help some. Please bare with as I do get to the point as to why I posted this on this thread towards the end... I promise.

I'm a security geek, yes one of those, and the thought of people noting these details down on paper, stored in browser or in 'password protected documents' which are about as much use as a chocolate teapot, terrified me.

Essentially my recommendation is something people today should be using anyway. A password manager. I would recommend apps called 1Password, Dashlane or Keepass. I know it can be daunting to store your digital life in one place, but trust me, it's 100x more secure than any other method, plus if the data is ever compromised, it cannot be decrypted without your details, rendering it useless... Unless you use Password123 as a log in of course!

Now, these apps generate unique passwords and can store two factor authentication codes. They allow you to have a different password to every online account, instantly making you more secure, but you don't have to remember them all as they are in app!

They make using the internet safe, secure and actually easier thanks to auto filling!

They can be a pain to set up and if anyone has any questions, perhaps we can make a sub thread, as I'd be happy to answer any questions and also help people with their individual set up recommendations, all to remain on the public forum, private messages are dangerous in my opinion.

Now, why have I added this here, well if you have POA or any financial log ins / information / bank details etc, it can all be stored on this password manager account and if you have a family account, it is incredibly easy to ensure the details are passed on at the correct moment (even if you have an individual account this is also possible). Which makes the life of whomever they are passed too significantly easier, as they will have legal control and all the information required to access and manage your entire digital life!

So guys, please please please get a password manager, make yourself safer and more secure online, and have the added bonus that you are making your digital legacy easier to handover in the event of, as MSE put it, any of the 3 D's.

Over and out. Z

PennyDD

I left all the finances to my (now ex) husband.  He spent it on internet dating.  I had to learn the hard way how to look after my own money.

PennyDD

newatc said:

I used to do it all myself because wife is not interested. During the last 3 years, I've tried very hard to get her involved with some success but she hates it. 
I keep spreadsheet(s) with all the details but there will be panic/confusion if she is left to do it all.
It's a big problem but one I have no answer to.

unfortunately my husband is the same.  He is a real technophobe and I have everything on a spreadsheet.  I insist I show him it every now and again but I know he would struggle if left to his own devices.  I have just told him that other more savvy members of the family would have to help him should the need arise.

PennyDD

JaneandBeth said:

Slightly different position jn that I am already widowed and one of my stepson, who lives here, is very competent financially.  I have written three papers - one is a list of all the household info such as who the solicitors are with the will, where the stopcock is, tradesmen to use for servicing boiler etc, how our unconventional heating system works etc, ; one is what to do with the pets if he can't keep them, who he should inform re my pension, my late husband's pension etc; and the third is a letter to him and his brothers just saying all the personal things that I would want to say to them, in case something happens to me suddenly and I am not able to say it. I think this is equally important as the financial and info pages. I update it every few months, re-date it and throw the previous copy out, putting it in an envelope  marked 'After My Death'. He hasn't read it but knows where it is, which is the main thing.

Great idea JaneandBeth.  I've also written my obituary as obviously, I'm the only person who knows my whole life.  All ready for someone else to read.

curtis122

In general every account, current and savings (where it can be) is a joint account. We have 2 joint current accounts, one my wages get paid into and the other my partners gets paid into. We opted for this setup due to if there was any issue with one current account and for some reason it got frozen we still have the other to use and continue to make payments. 

We both have one basic account setup in our own names, these accounts are what we call 'Internet Accounts' and we move money into them as and when we need to buy anything off the internet or pay someone that's a one off as we don't want to use our main current account details which has more money in it. That way if we get our card details stolen they won't be getting much as there is never much in them.

We have never been a couple where money is mine or theirs, we are married and its all seen as 'our' money, it all goes into accounts and it gets used for what it gets used for. We are both ok with each of us buying stuff we want but then neither of us are massive spenders and its only on bigger purchases where we will then mention it to each other if its something one of us wants.

Rob5342

We have a joint current account and a joint savings account, everything goes in those and we both have the corresponding apps on our phones. Bills are in joint names where possible and spread 50/50 when not. We've got a spreadsheet listing all our bills, weekly budgets, savings payments and childrens pocket money, we review that whenver we switch supplier or get a pay rise which is usually at least once a month. When we get paid we split it all into Monzo pots for the month and then both keep track of it with our apps.

We don't worry about his and hers, just buy things as and when we need or want them.

squirrelchops2

Although I am mid 40s I have developed a real paranoia about what if something happens to me and trying to leave things clear that my partner would be able to find things with ease as all household debits come out of my account with my partner giving me money to cover this. Our finances are totally separate with the exception of one bank account that we run our joint buy to let property through.

We have both been stung by having father's who didn't leave wills and he is going through it again with his recently deceased brother who didn't leave a will. Therefore we both have wills and know where they are and which solicitors hold the originals.

I have just sat down and wrote out the suggested financial factsheet. I have worked out I have 26 different financial 'things' that would need to be dealt with if I died tomorrow! This includes everything from household bills, to dog insurance, to savings accounts to pensions to random things like I get a payment for poles and stays from national grid having electric supply across some land I own. At least getting it all into one document should help.

Tigsteroonie

Pretty much, I do our 'life admin'. Marley has a vague idea of what is needed in life, but struggles with the detail and juggling the figures (dyslexia/dyscalculia). I do have it all written down "in the event of my demise" but I just hope that somebody with more nouse will help him navigate through it. 

arnoldy

One single account - no secret "my money separate account stuff".

It does matter who earns it or how much - it goes into the pot. It does matter who spends it or how much it comes out of same account. 

Simples, why complicate?