NST OCTOBER 2022: Autumn Leaves and Sloe Berries

ldee2111

Wednesday 

Taking this morning off to look after DS who’ll be picked up by his granda’ around lunchtime.

Hope I’m not going to get into trouble from my line manager who’s not replied to any of my emails or text messages asking for permission. I also submitted an expense claim for £8 a couple of weeks ago which needs her sign off to be paid. Still waiting on this. 

Not heard from her and neither have other members of our team. She is alive though because some people have.

Personally I think she’s struggling with her workload just now and is probably taking the attitude of ‘if it’s not urgent, I’m ignoring it’. 

I was hoping today would be NSD 7 but I’ve already been to the shops this morning to buy emergency honey… for DS’s porridge! 

Have a good day turtles x

grandmanerd

Feeling wiped out but also cross at the lack of progress. I think it might be brain dump time again (fancy a bit of 'bingo' - cards for all the cleaning, ordinary and extras, bits to tackle). Yesterday I did more of the accounts (mostly a second copy although I have put the next batch of receipts in date order) but then managed to 'lose' the account book when I put it to one side whilst I was eating. Brought in several items of clothing (nearly dry and no detergent smell) and put them on hangers at the bottom of the stairs. Tracked down the WM repair man details and recommendations for roof people and painters and decorators (not yet but looking forward hopefully). 

Didn't go to art class again (4th week), feeling slightly guilty but just not up to it. Just need to start getting rid of stuff. Feeling the weight of being surrounded by 'dead people's stuff'. A lot of the kitchen floor mess is bags brought back from mum's, some cleaning products (have some out and on the end of the unit housing the sink), some is my diy/ garden stuff which should live under the stairs (but still working my way under there), some things under the table so I don't trip (including a cs donation bag that has been there for several weeks). The front room is totally dominated by my ex's record collection (creeping despair inside and out). The green bin was nearly empty this week so that's 4 weeks I've been able to do very little outside work (previously I made conscious effort to fill mine and some of the neighbours' green bins every fortnight).

Grateful for getting some things done, for being aware of the negatives (creeping despair, weeks of below par health, surrounded by a tidal wave of filth - that's a book title reference) need to make an action plan and just do what I can (nibble the elephants)

ditty1234

Right so am having an other day off from cover, today is because I experienced an incident with students yesterday that was highly disturbing and my concentration is shattered (again). I am not sure where to start. I feel my evidence for leaving the College /Education sector is adding up. So will try to shake out a job application today along side a couple of other things. 

f0xh0les

grandmanerd said:

Just need to start getting rid of stuff. Feeling the weight of being surrounded by 'dead people's stuff'.

I know this feeling so well!

As well as being surrounded by EVERYONE ELSE'S stuff that apparently lives on every/any flat surface, and down the side of his armchair, and his side of the bed.  There must be a special name for people who cannot recycle an envelope, or packaging, or loo roll innards.......  a word that isn't 'husband' or 'male child'.  Grrr

Hugs to all my ill turtles, there is a special on the virtual chaise longue today,  a free hot chocolate with marshmallows and a whipped cream moustache, with 0 calories for any visitor, and a hug.  Take care of you - nobody else is you, you are unique.

f0xh0les

Hugs @ditty1234 , sounds traumatic, you need to protect yourself and your physical/mental health first.

grandmanerd

f0xh0les said:

grandmanerd said:

Just need to start getting rid of stuff. Feeling the weight of being surrounded by 'dead people's stuff'.

I know this feeling so well!

As well as being surrounded by EVERYONE ELSE'S stuff that apparently lives on every/any flat surface, and down the side of his armchair, and his side of the bed.  There must be a special name for people who cannot recycle an envelope, or packaging, or loo roll innards.......  a word that isn't 'husband' or 'male child'.  Grrr

Hugs to all my ill turtles, there is a special on the virtual chaise longue today,  a free hot chocolate with marshmallows and a whipped cream moustache, with 0 calories for any visitor, and a hug.  Take care of you - nobody else is you, you are unique.

My ex used to read his post and then put the letter back in the envelope. So the person who actually dealt with things had to take it out again, to see what it was before taking action. DS3 just leaves his unopened so I do a cull every now and then. 

When my aunt died, we had to clear the house in a week (Council house she'd been born in, rent had to be paid from the minute she died and my other aunt lived in Oxford and she set the deadline). We cleared nearly everything but a lot came to my house for me to distribute (cs and the town centre recycling point had some larger bins for textiles etc). So it came by the car load and I shifted it by the rucksack load - I've often given away spare kettles, tea towels etc to anyone who needed them (neighbour was helping a friend who had moved house and had nothing, another neighbour left her husband, was given a refuge place and then a council house) but there comes a point when everywhere you look it's just other people's stuff. My mum was very fond of claiming other people's cast offs for me - she'd just phone or drop by to tell me I was getting a 'new to me' couch/ table/ whatever. I've even used recycled building materials and cut up a carpet into strips (4 different widths) and fitted it to the stairs and landing.

I think I can only start with a very severe cull of my own stuff - I bought a pretty leaf shaped glass dish from a cs for 50p a while since. It's very pretty, doesn't take up much room and makes me smile but I don't need it. Books can be culled again - bought a lot during the pandemic when the library was closed and only rarely had access to cs, but anything I can easily get at the library (easily being a relative term, as it's a trek these days), easy reading stuff and some books I re-bought as I used to read them nearly every year before reducing my collection - all these can go.

I used to think I was going to end up with a chair in the corner of the kitchen and one 2 foot windowsill for my favourite books and possessions (as the boys and their belongings grew). A very early 'getting rid of stuff' book (when MK was only a twinkle) said that people who had lots of books had their primary relationship with books and therefore did not make connections with people. I cut back on books but still limit my exposure to people. Over the years I've learned that people generally need me more than I need them. I don't want to have elevenses with the neighbour or fair weather friends who turn to me when they're in trouble and are off again once I've sorted their issues. I love solitude and rarely feel 'lonely'. I'm polite, I have great conversations with people at bus stops but I need peace and quiet.

I can understand building a wall of possessions to 'feel safe' - something I recognise in DS3 and Beloved's behaviour.  I painted my bedroom deep chocolate brown when I was a teenager. Not goth black, full of angst and despair, chocolate brown so I felt like mole in his little house or a mouse in her hole.

I think I'm going to imagine an empty house and decide what I want in it, in an ideal world. I also need to have a serious talk with those 2 - Beloved has been talking about her parents helping her to move. I think she's imagining moving house and furnishing it like a dolls' house. Well no, they're moving house, they need a van, they need to take everything that's theirs (shelves, bathroom bin, computers, desks, kitchen gadgets, books, make up and toiletries, clothes and cos play clothes) and as much of the stuff I offer them as they want (tall freezer, fridge freezer, tumble dryer, dishwasher, the large couch,they can pick which 2 beds they want to take).

I know they hate the wardrobes, I do too but they can leave them and I'll make use of them until I can take them apart or get someone to help me get them outside (I've always thought they would make great raised beds) but they're not taking 2, 4 or 6 car loads of possessions and expecting me to dispose of all their unwanted carp. Will make them a bingo card of tasks too - starting with the 2 large kitchen bins they've put in my kitchen. These are just the latest in a series of large bins they've bought (in theory these are for rubbish and cans/ bottles recycling). They rarely use them, never empty them, just stuff more things in until the bag splits or the mess in the bottom turns disgusting. If I haul the bag out they won't use the bin because 'you didn't put a replacement sack in'. All the others were plastic and eventually I put them outside for emptying/cleaning. When they make no attempt to bring them back inside, I drill holes in the bottom and use them for gardening.

Will set to list making but do what I can every time I'm on my feet.

f0xh0les

How many Prime Ministers left til Isaac Newton's birthday??

grandmanerd

f0xh0les said:

How many Prime Ministers left til Isaac Newton's birthday??

Well if they're all having 15 minutes

BadBookkeeper

Evening turtles, here’s my update:

Outside - Not today.

Inside - Nothing today

Fun - Went to bargains for home to look at December things.  Watching footy on tv.

Food / alcohol - Ok today food wise.  Didn’t have much milk left this morning so had toast.  House smelt delicious and ds friend punched a piece for on the way to school! Homemade soup for lunch & lasagne for tea.

Read - Not today. 

Plan for December - Bought a few bits I usually forget and then can’t find last minute!  Tissue paper, chocolate coins for ds felt advent calendar and candy canes.  Couldn’t find any birthday wrapping paper I liked.  

NSD - No do still 10/15.  Also bought cleaning products I’d usually get with grocery shop but cheaper in hb & bought DH some thick socks and gloves.  Impulse bought 2 packs of sparklers at the checkout. Noticed Halloween costumes.  DS is 10 not sure if he’ll want one this year. 

MSE - N/wide transfer should have completed by mid-day today and guess what it hasn’t so will have to contact them.  Listed pair of curtains of Fb, rang pension company and resent form to transfer an old small one into current one hopefully for the last time! 

Gratitude - A productive day in work, toast, mid week footy on tv. 

weenancyinAmerica

foxholes - none of the words I want to use to describe roommates is decent to put in print. My mother would have washed my mouth out with soap for some of the words I have been thinking. Slob is about the only word I have used that is "okay". I have 4 roommates - 1 is okay and helps around the house. The other three are worthless***.