How much keep to ask for?

tooldle

@Spendless, I don't think it is always about the absolute cost of keeping an individual. I was a teenager in the 80's and my folks come from the 30's, their parents before them from the turn of the century. Times were hard for many people in the 80's, enormous mortgage rates, high cost of living etc. My folks certainly handed over their pay packets whilst still young. My mum for example paid her keep and paid some of her brothers costs (school uniform etc). Throw in gendered expectation of women being here to support and serve the menfolk, and it becomes a damaging mess. 
I can't remember which thread it was on, that you mentioned Aussie shampoo. I saw adverts this weekend for the solid version. thought i'd flag in case it is of interest to your daughter. 

Spendless

tooldle said:

@Spendless, I don't think it is always about the absolute cost of keeping an individual. I was a teenager in the 80's and my folks come from the 30's, their parents before them from the turn of the century. Times were hard for many people in the 80's, enormous mortgage rates, high cost of living etc. My folks certainly handed over their pay packets whilst still young. My mum for example paid her keep and paid some of her brothers costs (school uniform etc). Throw in gendered expectation of women being here to support and serve the menfolk, and it becomes a damaging mess. 
I can't remember which thread it was on, that you mentioned Aussie shampoo. I saw adverts this weekend for the solid version. thought i'd flag in case it is of interest to your daughter. 

This was the early 2000s though when I worked with the sixth former expected to pay towards his keep from his p-time evening wage (same job I was doing). Parents must have been born at a later time then you're talking about. I also believe this was around the time when tax credits had come in and child benefit was universal. Parents would still have been able to claim the child related benefits they  had qualified for the year before. I can understand a request for the teen to pay for things like their own socialising and own personal items even such as specific toiletries but not a contribution towards the bills when they were still doing A levels.

Thanks for the tip. Daughter has now moved away but I'll look out for one and save it to pop in her stocking, see how she gets on with them. Not tried a solid shampoo before. 

tooldle

There are plenty of reasons why a family may ask for 'keep' and that is why I say it is not always about the absolute cost of feeding and housing (keeping) a young adult. It is possible to have a household income above the threshold for tax credits and to struggle for a variety of reasons. Equally it may not be about struggle and more about paying for a costly error, or paying for a costly extra where the family provided support in the form of a loan, or contributing to additional cost over and above the norm. 

Spendless

tooldle said:

There are plenty of reasons why a family may ask for 'keep' and that is why I say it is not always about the absolute cost of feeding and housing (keeping) a young adult. It is possible to have a household income above the threshold for tax credits and to struggle for a variety of reasons. Equally it may not be about struggle and more about paying for a costly error, or paying for a costly extra where the family provided support in the form of a loan, or contributing to additional cost over and above the norm. 

It wasn't. I knew the lad well and  I used to give him a lift home each night as no buses ran that way home. Parents would have been entitled to exactly the same child related benefits as they had the year before when he was taking GCSEs. The tax credit system was more generous then and child benefit paid to everyone. They asked for a contribution because 'he was working'. I still find it wrong since he was also a f-time student

Pollycat

tooldle said:

There are plenty of reasons why a family may ask for 'keep' and that is why I say it is not always about the absolute cost of feeding and housing (keeping) a young adult. It is possible to have a household income above the threshold for tax credits and to struggle for a variety of reasons. Equally it may not be about struggle and more about paying for a costly error, or paying for a costly extra where the family provided support in the form of a loan, or contributing to additional cost over and above the norm. 

I expected to pay board as soon as I started work.
I did not expect my Mum to take my wages and give me spending money.

getmore4less

All I can think about now is Monty Python...

Pollycat

getmore4less said:

All I can think about now is Monty Python...

Care to share...?

tooldle

Spendless said:

tooldle said:

There are plenty of reasons why a family may ask for 'keep' and that is why I say it is not always about the absolute cost of feeding and housing (keeping) a young adult. It is possible to have a household income above the threshold for tax credits and to struggle for a variety of reasons. Equally it may not be about struggle and more about paying for a costly error, or paying for a costly extra where the family provided support in the form of a loan, or contributing to additional cost over and above the norm. 

It wasn't. I knew the lad well and  I used to give him a lift home each night as no buses ran that way home. Parents would have been entitled to exactly the same child related benefits as they had the year before when he was taking GCSEs. The tax credit system was more generous then and child benefit paid to everyone. They asked for a contribution because 'he was working'. I still find it wrong since he was also a f-time student

I’m not suggesting these were the reasons for the lad you speak of. Simply making the point of living expense not necessarily being the driver. For some it may just be a principle. I can think of a few families who have not a penny left at the end of the month and some families who spend more than is earned. Now I think on it, I can think of a few with really hefty debt circa 50K on credit cards. If the teenagers are earning, is it really so bad to ask for a small contribution? After all, being a full time student leaves an awful lot of hours available for earning, socialising and doing other stuff. I know as I myself worked 20 hrs a week whilst studying my A’Levels. I still found time to go out etc and managed to take a holiday overseas, something my parents had never done or afforded. 

There was an incident near us a few years back, significant flooding. Quite a few families were caught out as they had no insurance. Some had not long bought their properties and had spent all their available cash on deposit, furniture etc. A very difficult situation to be in. 
Some cases are poor planning but for others not so much. None of us know what goes on behind closed doors.

tooldle

Taking all the wages and giving the earner pocket money, used to be common.  I wouldn’t be happy with that either.

Pollycat

tooldle said:

Taking all the wages and giving the earner pocket money, used to be common.  I wouldn’t be happy with that either.

It wasn't common with my contemporaries.
I wasn't happy either.