How much keep to ask for?

*max*

Pollycat said:

My Mum took my wages from me and gave me spending money. 
I was furious.
That was over 50 years ago.

You must be the same generation as my mum. She desperately wanted to continue with education, but was forced to stop and "earn a living" when she was 16, all of which she then had to hand over to her father to contribute to their 10+ children family that she had no say in. 

KxMx

My Mum experienced similar, forced to leave school at 15- she is intelligent enough to have stayed on- so she could contribute financially, my grandparents only got 3 years out of her though as she moved out at 18.

Pollycat

*max* said:

Pollycat said:

My Mum took my wages from me and gave me spending money. 
I was furious.
That was over 50 years ago.

You must be the same generation as my mum. She desperately wanted to continue with education, but was forced to stop and "earn a living" when she was 16, all of which she then had to hand over to her father to contribute to their 10+ children family that she had no say in. 

KxMx said:

My Mum experienced similar, forced to leave school at 15- she is intelligent enough to have stayed on- so she could contribute financially, my grandparents only got 3 years out of her though as she moved out at 18.

I did my O levels then left school.
Luckily, I got a job with a very good employer with equal opportunities (even that long ago).
I left home at 19.
I was the eldest and others that came after me weren't treated the same.
I guess it was as the family got more financially stable.

silvercar

Pollycat said:

*max* said:

Pollycat said:

My Mum took my wages from me and gave me spending money. 
I was furious.
That was over 50 years ago.

You must be the same generation as my mum. She desperately wanted to continue with education, but was forced to stop and "earn a living" when she was 16, all of which she then had to hand over to her father to contribute to their 10+ children family that she had no say in. 

KxMx said:

My Mum experienced similar, forced to leave school at 15- she is intelligent enough to have stayed on- so she could contribute financially, my grandparents only got 3 years out of her though as she moved out at 18.

I did my O levels then left school.
Luckily, I got a job with a very good employer with equal opportunities (even that long ago).
I left home at 19.
I was the eldest and others that came after me weren't treated the same.
I guess it was as the family got more financially stable.

I have met people in 3rd world countries where the family choose one child to have an education, so they can then earn enough to provide for the family. Sometimes we don’t know how lucky we are.

Pollycat

silvercar said:

Pollycat said:

*max* said:

Pollycat said:

My Mum took my wages from me and gave me spending money. 
I was furious.
That was over 50 years ago.

You must be the same generation as my mum. She desperately wanted to continue with education, but was forced to stop and "earn a living" when she was 16, all of which she then had to hand over to her father to contribute to their 10+ children family that she had no say in. 

KxMx said:

My Mum experienced similar, forced to leave school at 15- she is intelligent enough to have stayed on- so she could contribute financially, my grandparents only got 3 years out of her though as she moved out at 18.

I did my O levels then left school.
Luckily, I got a job with a very good employer with equal opportunities (even that long ago).
I left home at 19.
I was the eldest and others that came after me weren't treated the same.
I guess it was as the family got more financially stable.

I have met people in 3rd world countries where the family choose one child to have an education, so they can then earn enough to provide for the family. Sometimes we don’t know how lucky we are.

But I wasn't living in a 3rd world country.

I wasn't "lucky".
I was the eldest.
Rules regarding what time I to be in were much stricter for me than the 2 who came after me.
Middle sibling paid board.
Youngest sibling paid no board.
My best friend was an only child who lived with her Mum, Dad and Grandad.
She had whatever she wanted and paid no board.

Please do not try to tell me how "lucky" I was in comparison with other countries.
That is like comparing dogs and elephants - it has no relevance.

tooldle

I'm the youngest and went on to College for A'Levels (2 years). Through that period i was charged keep, and this i paid from my evening and weekend job. Sibling is the eldest, he had an extra year in school to repeat CSE's and didn't get charged a penny, despite having a Saturday job.  I left for University at 18 and never returned. 
Families are strange at times. Mine have very gender based expectations. 

MovingForwards

I was the youngest and earned the least. The £25 was a lot out of my money, but not my siblings, it wasn't treating us fairly or equally. Needless to say I left and never looked back.

Pollycat

The last couple of posts just show that children are not always treated equally, regardless of where they fit into the family dynamic.
Nothing at all to do with how children in the 3rd world are treated.
If you feel that you are unfairly treated, that may stay with you for the rest of your life

Silvertabby

Pollycat said:

The last couple of posts just show that children are not always treated equally, regardless of where they fit into the family dynamic.
Nothing at all to do with how children in the 3rd world are treated.
If you feel that you are unfairly treated, that may stay with you for the rest of your life

My mum was obsessed with treating us both 'equally' even though my sister was 4 years younger than me.

When I took on a paper round, paying 10 shillings per week, my mum stopped my 5 shillings per week pocket money because I was 'earning'.  However, her version of equal treatment was to increase my sister's pocket money to 10 shillings.  Yes, you got that right - I was out in all weathers delivering papers while my sister lounged in bed, but the fact that we both had 10 shillings to spend was 'fair'.

Spendless

Pollycat said:

silvercar said:

Pollycat said:

*max* said:

Pollycat said:

My Mum took my wages from me and gave me spending money. 
I was furious.
That was over 50 years ago.

You must be the same generation as my mum. She desperately wanted to continue with education, but was forced to stop and "earn a living" when she was 16, all of which she then had to hand over to her father to contribute to their 10+ children family that she had no say in. 

KxMx said:

My Mum experienced similar, forced to leave school at 15- she is intelligent enough to have stayed on- so she could contribute financially, my grandparents only got 3 years out of her though as she moved out at 18.

I did my O levels then left school.
Luckily, I got a job with a very good employer with equal opportunities (even that long ago).
I left home at 19.
I was the eldest and others that came after me weren't treated the same.
I guess it was as the family got more financially stable.

I have met people in 3rd world countries where the family choose one child to have an education, so they can then earn enough to provide for the family. Sometimes we don’t know how lucky we are.

But I wasn't living in a 3rd world country.

I wasn't "lucky".
I was the eldest.
Rules regarding what time I to be in were much stricter for me than the 2 who came after me.
Middle sibling paid board.
Youngest sibling paid no board.
My best friend was an only child who lived with her Mum, Dad and Grandad.
She had whatever she wanted and paid no board.

Please do not try to tell me how "lucky" I was in comparison with other countries.
That is like comparing dogs and elephants - it has no relevance.

When you read historical novels (set at a far earlier time than you're talking about). This seems to be the 'norm'. The child handed over their wages to the 'family pot' and was given pocket money in return. I wonder if that's the experience your parents had with their own families and applied it to you. No idea why they changed their minds for the younger ones though, is there much of an age gap? I should ask one of my Grandmothers, 97 and still 'with it' one of 11 children what happened when she started earning. She's about the fifth born so wouldn't be the first or last to be starting work.

What tooldle has said, I've come across too and within the last 20 years. I had a p-time job on an evening and worked with a sixth former who was having to pay keep from his earning. I never understood it personally. He can't have been costing much if anything else than he was the year before, only possibly in bus fares to his A level course and they could have told him to pay that bit out of his wages if that was causing an issue.