How much keep to ask for? 20 September 2022 at 10:13PM in Marriage, relationships & families 55 replies 5.3K views

gorgeousme

My child will be graduating and coming back home next year and has asked how much keep will be. Is there a “norm”? What should I ask for?

marcia_

 Depends on what their income will be and what your increased outgoings will be? 

Pollycat

It's a question asked regularly.
There is no 'norm'.
I guess it depends on your financial situation, whether your child will be working and if so earning how much etc.

silvercar

The less you ask for, the sooner they can save for their own place.

Sky_

Our eldest was working, then furloughed, when he last lived with us for an extended period of time.  I asked for the amount that covered the additional cost of him living with us.

I think it was £150 a month then--about 2-3 years ago, to cover extra gas/electric water and food, toiletries etc. We were already 2 adults in the house so our council tax bill was unchanged. 

Spendless

Are you on your own? If you will lost the 25% Council Tax reduction then that will need paying plus any increases to shopping and utility bills. The rest is up to you what you ask for.

My son graduated this year, is currently working f-time in a 'just for now' job and lives with his girfriend's parents. They take a minimal amount off of them as a contribution because they are saving towards their wedding next year. 

Mojisola

Sky_ said:

Our eldest was working, then furloughed, when he last lived with us for an extended period of time.  I asked for the amount that covered the additional cost of him living with us.

That would suit us as well - with the added conditions that the household chores were shared and a reasonable amount went into savings each month so that moving out wouldn't be too far in the future.

Savvy_Sue

gorgeousme said:

My child will be graduating and coming back home next year and has asked how much keep will be. Is there a “norm”? What should I ask for?

When DS1 asked this, rather closer to graduation than yours has, we had a discussion. He said he was hoping he could come home, I said of course he could, BUT "you know you'll have to pay keep, because if you don't, I'll never get a penny from your little brother!"

I asked what he'd been paying in rent, he told me, and explained it had been mega cheap for various reasons. I said that would be fine, it would include food and bills but he'd be helping out with chores and shopping as required, and doing his own laundry. We didn't NEED the money, or I'd have charged more. 

I wish he'd stayed longer in some ways, but he moved out after a few months. It meant he never got out of the habit of paying his own way.

And I was glad I'd done that, because a few years later, DS3 started at the local Uni, without a place in halls. I gently explained that his student loan wasn't ALL his personal spending money, there was rent to pay too - not a lot, but enough to help him realise he was now a Grown Up! 

Look at your costs, and talk to your DD. 

elsien

All goes to show there’s no definitive answer. I was paying £40 a week 25 years ago. Seemed fair at the time.
No expectation of paying less to save quicker, or having my contribution saved to give me a helping hand further down the line.
It was spent on day to day expenses and I still considered it cheap at the price. 

maisie_cat

When my siblings and I were first working we paid 25% of our take home pay, but that was back in the 1980s. As housing costs have increased more since then I would expect 25% to be a minimum

london21

gorgeousme said:

My child will be graduating and coming back home next year and has asked how much keep will be. Is there a “norm”? What should I ask for?

Depends on income and what they can afford.

When I first graduated and was not earning much, my contribution was not much when I started earning, I started paying the bills like gas, energy, internet etc.

My parents also encouraged me to save and try to buy my place hence did not request much from me financially.