In my 30s and in London - what do I do?

sheramber

You need to accept that you cannot afford what you want .  So time to move onto plan B, whether that is moving to somewhere else outside London or moving to Asia

sturgeon

To the OP. I’m in my mid thirties and living in London. You say you have £30k-40k deposit? Fantastic. That’s the main barrier to most FTB’ers in London. 

Do help to buy. You can buy 60% share of a property meaning your property budget is about £330k factoring in £40k deposit and a £160k mortgage. Or a little less to factor in a bit of stamp duty and fees. 

I did it twice and it massively helped me as I’ve benefitted from growth in property prices so now have a large amount to put towards my next property. Yes it has some downsides but you need a place to live and want to be around London. 

Yes you won’t be able to get zones 1-3 but should be able to find somewhere in Zone 4 (or 5/6). RightMove let you search by TFL zone. Or as someone else has suggested the Elizabeth line goes far out now and that’s super slick and speedy so your commute will be short. 

This is very doable so I’m not sure what the hold up is or why you haven’t looked at this previously? The barrier is usually the deposit. You’d afford a one bed flat for that budget with shared ownership or HTB easily. 

[Deleted User]

jonnydeppiwish! said:

[Deleted User] said:

jonnydeppiwish! said:

pinkshoes said:

Ultimately what you want and what is affordable are NOT the same thing so something needs to change.

You are never going to settle elsewhere if you keep thinking about you want.

If you WANT London then you are going to have to change career or take steps to earn much more! Even teachers in London earn more than you!

If you like your job then stop thinking about London life and get involved where you are now. If you look hard enough for people your age with common interests you will find then.

Try kick boxing - lots of men in their 30s in my class. Joint a local sports group - casual footy or something??

A location is what you make of it, but if you don't give it a proper chance you will never settle.

I've lived in 10 different areas, and always managed to meet people. The loneliest place I found was living in a city!

As Pinkshoes says, if you can’t afford to live in London, then YOU need to do something about it. You have to change your career prospects, no somebody else doing it for you.

You have a degree - well done, join the rest of us who have one and post graduate degrees. 

You’ve not made any friends so you say that there’s only people with 21 or 65 - look into different hobbies/exercise groups. Pretty sure someone has already mentioned Parkrun or gym classes.

What do you expect to gain from going to another country? As a charity worker, are there any feasible roles overseas for you? What are you expect the government to do for you? You earn a good wage, can afford to house feed yourself.

I’m a also a big believer in people making the most of where they are, regardless of who lives close or not. Life can be as hard as you make it, or as easy as you want it to be.

I earn a decent wage and I can't afford to house and feed myself. That's the whole point of this thread. A large percentage of London salaries don't pay for people for people to live in or near London. The system is broken. 

Exactly - you can’t afford to live in London. The system isn’t broken, it’s just the way it always has been. People have been moving for jobs and places to live for years.

I’m one of 8 children, all of which had to move away from where we grew up because we couldn’t afford to live there.  We all realised this and changed our lives to fit.

If you want to live in London, then there are only two options - you find someone else to live with or you get a better paid job.

It's not the 'way it always has been'. More university of life nonsense.

My aunt bought a one bed flat in the 90s in Finsbury park on a schoolteacher salary. 

[Deleted User]

easy said:

Wildbilljones ...  I'm sorry but you really do seem to feel very sorry for yourself,  and reluctant to take on the suggestions you have asked people to give.
I understand that moving to Norwich has been hard on you  -  you moved at a time when normal social interactions had come to a complete halt,  it is taking time for people to get used to going out and meeting again.  But several people here have suggested that you spend your evenings and weekends joining in sports activities and finding other hobbies you can join other people in. 
You said you liked Norwich because it had nice countryside around it -  so have you looked into joining a rambling club?  I know many of the members may be older than you,  but they will have families and other friends,  over time that may well widen your social circle.
Go to your leisure centre,  see if they can introduce you to a 5-aside footy club,  or a squash player to play against.  Become a regular at one of the public swimming sessions.  After a few sessions someone will chat to you,  that can lead on to other social things.

If you are not sporty,  then checkout online whether there is a chess club/book club/bridge club/film society .  Or look for an amateur dramatics group -  they'll be starting to plan for the pantomime season soon
Go to the Library -  they will have posters of various groups up on a notice board.  
If you have an interest in history become a weekend guide for the city or Catherdral -  you'll meet people that way..

I'm a big believer in "you get out of life what you put in".  

You expect me to have implemented their suggestions in the week that this thread has been online? I'm very appreciative of all the suggestions and information and have already been looking into them.

When someone reaches out online for help and is actively asking for suggestions, your response is to call them 'sorry for themself'. 

Thanks mate. 

hazyjo

[Deleted User] said:

jonnydeppiwish! said:

[Deleted User] said:

jonnydeppiwish! said:

pinkshoes said:

Ultimately what you want and what is affordable are NOT the same thing so something needs to change.

You are never going to settle elsewhere if you keep thinking about you want.

If you WANT London then you are going to have to change career or take steps to earn much more! Even teachers in London earn more than you!

If you like your job then stop thinking about London life and get involved where you are now. If you look hard enough for people your age with common interests you will find then.

Try kick boxing - lots of men in their 30s in my class. Joint a local sports group - casual footy or something??

A location is what you make of it, but if you don't give it a proper chance you will never settle.

I've lived in 10 different areas, and always managed to meet people. The loneliest place I found was living in a city!

As Pinkshoes says, if you can’t afford to live in London, then YOU need to do something about it. You have to change your career prospects, no somebody else doing it for you.

You have a degree - well done, join the rest of us who have one and post graduate degrees. 

You’ve not made any friends so you say that there’s only people with 21 or 65 - look into different hobbies/exercise groups. Pretty sure someone has already mentioned Parkrun or gym classes.

What do you expect to gain from going to another country? As a charity worker, are there any feasible roles overseas for you? What are you expect the government to do for you? You earn a good wage, can afford to house feed yourself.

I’m a also a big believer in people making the most of where they are, regardless of who lives close or not. Life can be as hard as you make it, or as easy as you want it to be.

I earn a decent wage and I can't afford to house and feed myself. That's the whole point of this thread. A large percentage of London salaries don't pay for people for people to live in or near London. The system is broken. 

Exactly - you can’t afford to live in London. The system isn’t broken, it’s just the way it always has been. People have been moving for jobs and places to live for years.

I’m one of 8 children, all of which had to move away from where we grew up because we couldn’t afford to live there.  We all realised this and changed our lives to fit.

If you want to live in London, then there are only two options - you find someone else to live with or you get a better paid job.

It's not the 'way it always has been'. More university of life nonsense.

My aunt bought a one bed flat in the 90s in Finsbury park on a schoolteacher salary. 

To be fair though, it wasn't a nice area. My friend bought in Walthamstow in the 90s on her own. Due to gentrification/popularity, she'd certainly not afford it now. She could however buy in Barking, East Ham etc - the comparables.

[Deleted User]

grumiofoundation said:

wildbilljones said:

jonnydeppiwish! said:

pinkshoes said:

Ultimately what you want and what is affordable are NOT the same thing so something needs to change.

You are never going to settle elsewhere if you keep thinking about you want.

If you WANT London then you are going to have to change career or take steps to earn much more! Even teachers in London earn more than you!

If you like your job then stop thinking about London life and get involved where you are now. If you look hard enough for people your age with common interests you will find then.

Try kick boxing - lots of men in their 30s in my class. Joint a local sports group - casual footy or something??

A location is what you make of it, but if you don't give it a proper chance you will never settle.

I've lived in 10 different areas, and always managed to meet people. The loneliest place I found was living in a city!

As Pinkshoes says, if you can’t afford to live in London, then YOU need to do something about it. You have to change your career prospects, no somebody else doing it for you.

You have a degree - well done, join the rest of us who have one and post graduate degrees. 

You’ve not made any friends so you say that there’s only people with 21 or 65 - look into different hobbies/exercise groups. Pretty sure someone has already mentioned Parkrun or gym classes.

What do you expect to gain from going to another country? As a charity worker, are there any feasible roles overseas for you? What are you expect the government to do for you? You earn a good wage, can afford to house feed yourself.

I’m a also a big believer in people making the most of where they are, regardless of who lives close or not. Life can be as hard as you make it, or as easy as you want it to be.

I earn a decent wage and I can't afford to house and feed myself. That's the whole point of this thread. A large percentage of London salaries don't pay for people for people to live in or near London. The system is broken. 

No you can't afford to buy a house or rent alone in London. You earn 36k, over the median income in the UK. You are not homeless and starving. 

Maybe part of the reason the 'system is broken' is people (esp. children) who are actually starving or homeless don't get the help they need because of people who need less help but shout louder (and often inaccurately)?

So because there are bigger problems in the world, there is no point in me asking for suggestions on how to address a particular problem I'm having?

If people are spending half or two thirds of their monthly salary on renting a room in a house owner by someone with twelve houses, the system is broken, regardless of how attached you are to it. 

Loanranger21

[Deleted User] said:

Loanranger21 said:

Why not travel to London by coach if you can't afford the train fare.

There are actually plenty of jobs in Norwich, just not ones you fancy or are qulaified to do.

Am sorry to say you are getting good advice which I presume you came on this forum to get or was it so you could snipe at people " you  you should start charging for this sort of thing" or did you come here to tell us that because you can't get a house in London the government must be blame, ie the system?

I worked in the public sector and discovered in my early twenties that I needed to upskill. So I did. Then when I still foiund it v difficult to manage I got two other part time jobs on top of my professional role. I literally had no time to fritter money away by seeing friends and expensive train journeys but I got my finances under control pretty quickly.

I do. The Megabus was the best option. It's recently been cancelled (presumably because of the rise in fuel prices). 

I'm not sniping at anyone. I'm not going to say 'thank you' for condescending, thick observations such as 'earn more money'. 

Feel free to not comment at all.

Earn more money is exactly what you need to do or lower your expectations.

Sniping and sarcasm, I do not offer condescending and am certainly not thick.

As for feeling free not to comment: condescending much?

[Deleted User]

jonnydeppiwish! said:

[Deleted User] said:

jonnydeppiwish! said:

pinkshoes said:

Ultimately what you want and what is affordable are NOT the same thing so something needs to change.

You are never going to settle elsewhere if you keep thinking about you want.

If you WANT London then you are going to have to change career or take steps to earn much more! Even teachers in London earn more than you!

If you like your job then stop thinking about London life and get involved where you are now. If you look hard enough for people your age with common interests you will find then.

Try kick boxing - lots of men in their 30s in my class. Joint a local sports group - casual footy or something??

A location is what you make of it, but if you don't give it a proper chance you will never settle.

I've lived in 10 different areas, and always managed to meet people. The loneliest place I found was living in a city!

As Pinkshoes says, if you can’t afford to live in London, then YOU need to do something about it. You have to change your career prospects, no somebody else doing it for you.

You have a degree - well done, join the rest of us who have one and post graduate degrees. 

You’ve not made any friends so you say that there’s only people with 21 or 65 - look into different hobbies/exercise groups. Pretty sure someone has already mentioned Parkrun or gym classes.

What do you expect to gain from going to another country? As a charity worker, are there any feasible roles overseas for you? What are you expect the government to do for you? You earn a good wage, can afford to house feed yourself.

I’m a also a big believer in people making the most of where they are, regardless of who lives close or not. Life can be as hard as you make it, or as easy as you want it to be.

Right. So everyone who works in London but can't afford to live in London because of the extortionate rent prices and lack of housing options would just 'get paid more'. 

Great advice there. You should start charging people for this kind of thing. 

No it’s simple economics - some people can pay these high rental prices and house prices. If you can’t afford to live there then you can’t live there. Either commute in or find a job somewhere else.

The same as it is all around the UK. There are always areas which will be too expensive for any mere mortal to buy in.

It happens, get over it and move on.

Do you want your bins collected, your coffee and cake, a nurse to look after you in hospital?

Well then they better be able to afford to live there, hadn't they?

tooldle

[Deleted User] said:

grumiofoundation said:

[Deleted User] said:

jonnydeppiwish! said:

pinkshoes said:

Ultimately what you want and what is affordable are NOT the same thing so something needs to change.

You are never going to settle elsewhere if you keep thinking about you want.

If you WANT London then you are going to have to change career or take steps to earn much more! Even teachers in London earn more than you!

If you like your job then stop thinking about London life and get involved where you are now. If you look hard enough for people your age with common interests you will find then.

Try kick boxing - lots of men in their 30s in my class. Joint a local sports group - casual footy or something??

A location is what you make of it, but if you don't give it a proper chance you will never settle.

I've lived in 10 different areas, and always managed to meet people. The loneliest place I found was living in a city!

As Pinkshoes says, if you can’t afford to live in London, then YOU need to do something about it. You have to change your career prospects, no somebody else doing it for you.

You have a degree - well done, join the rest of us who have one and post graduate degrees. 

You’ve not made any friends so you say that there’s only people with 21 or 65 - look into different hobbies/exercise groups. Pretty sure someone has already mentioned Parkrun or gym classes.

What do you expect to gain from going to another country? As a charity worker, are there any feasible roles overseas for you? What are you expect the government to do for you? You earn a good wage, can afford to house feed yourself.

I’m a also a big believer in people making the most of where they are, regardless of who lives close or not. Life can be as hard as you make it, or as easy as you want it to be.

I earn a decent wage and I can't afford to house and feed myself. That's the whole point of this thread. A large percentage of London salaries don't pay for people for people to live in or near London. The system is broken. 

No you can't afford to buy a house or rent alone in London. You earn 36k, over the median income in the UK. You are not homeless and starving. 

Maybe part of the reason the 'system is broken' is people (esp. children) who are actually starving or homeless don't get the help they need because of people who need less help but shout louder (and often inaccurately)?

So because there are bigger problems in the world, there is no point in me asking for suggestions on how to address a particular problem I'm having?

If people are spending half or two thirds of their monthly salary on renting a room in a house owner by someone with twelve houses, the system is broken, regardless of how attached you are to it. 

Home ownership in the UK is at or around its all time high figure. You don't seem to realise it, but renting was what most people did until the very recent past. As an aside i have a family member who as a solicitor made a good living, for the time. He inherited a property empire from his father. Solicitor relative continued to practice law and operate the rental business and became in modern day terms a multi millionaire. On his death he left a pension to his housekeeper and the portfolio of London properties to the Crown. My folks on marrying lived in the upstairs part of another persons house. The bathroom was shared and it was agreed between them the owner would use the bathroom once each week. A similar situation for my grandparents and aunts. The only relative who went straight into a house being my uncle, who married the heir to a property empire. That empire now supports three siblings and provides a free house to all the off spring on marriage. This has been the way of things in my family for getting on for 200 hundred years. Not a new situation by any means. 

YoungBlueEyes

Perhaps it would be helpful to sit down and write a list of what is actually important to you OP.  You want to stay in your job, you want to live in a certain area, you want to be near friends.  Which of these is your main priority? How can the other things be made to accommodate that priority?

A few years ago I was in a situation where I couldn't afford to stay where I was.  I tried all kinds of angles to make it work but, short of an overnight lottery win, it simply wasn't going to happen.  So I could have stayed in a worse part of the same area, or moved completely.  Which I did.  I moved to a better area but in a cheaper county.  I always stuck to my main priority, and I made everything else fall into place round it.  

As the philosopher Jagger said - "You can't always get what you want".