In my 30s and in London - what do I do?

[Deleted User]

[Deleted User] said:

[Deleted User] said:

theoretica said:

Another option would be to look throughout the UK at where might combine jobs, more affordable housing than London and a social life that appeals.  Glasgow?  Manchester?

Thanks. Yes I've been considering Glasgow. I have no desire to live there and would resent having to move away from my family and friends to live in a city I have no interest in, but it seems like this is the kind of choice that people have to make if they are from the southeast and aren't wealthy. 

Small comfort, but if you do go to Scotland you might get your EU citizenship back in a few years, and then you can get a job somewhere nice like Ireland. In fact in tech companies in Europe, the working language is often English. When you have Germans, French, Dutch and more all working together, it's the common denominator.

I actually have Irish citizenship. Unfortunately, it's hard to find work in Ireland and Dublin is even worse than London when it comes to finding somewhere to live. 

[Deleted User]

anotheruser said:

OP:

I have read a few of your posts and they do not make sense.

You say you miss your family but then also say you are looking at moving further away.

What is your priority?
Decide that before anything else.

If you're in your 30s, many people your age are settling down / looking to settle down / full time relationship (note, I said "many" not "most" or "everyone").  Is this you?  If yes, try and find someone - it's much easier now with technology.  If it's not you, then you need to find some other hobbies that can help you get to know people of all ages - even older people will invite you to stuff where there may be younger people there.  Local churches, cafes, hell even our local park has a users group - all good choices to start looking at.

If you're not happy to work work work and get promotions meaning you will earn £100k a year and be able to afford to live in London, then your only choice is to look outside of London, thus sacrificing being close to friends and family.


It seems you don't know what you want and until you start making decisions, you will be like this.

My priority is to own property, any property, near my friends and family in the southeast. Since that is seemingly impossible and my life has been made miserable due to having to move far away, just to rent a flat, I have pondered whether it is better to abandon the UK. Because it would be a choice of a) miserable life in the UK, working full time with nothing to aspire to or b) the experience of living and working in Asia which would at least be an interesting and valuable experience. 

What I'm doing now is absolutely not what I want. 

Retireby40

wildbilljones said:

Retireby40 said:

sheramber said:

wildbilljones said:

sheramber said:

wildbilljones said:

sheramber said:

It is not a new situation.

20 years ago a colleagues daughter and son in law moved from London to Edinburgh when she became pregnant,  as , despite having two salaries, , they could only afford a small 1 bedroom flat.

House prices have risen over 140% in most UK cities in the last 20 years. Salaries haven't. So, respectfully, I think you're very wrong.  

How can I be wrong about a statement of fact.

This is the kind of stuff I hear from my parents. "It was hard when we first bought a house too". Their first house cost 40k in 1991. Unless they were earning about 4k a year (they weren't), it's entirely incomparable to the situation first-time buyers face now. 

But the scenario is the same.  

A young couple with two salaries- one was a teacher-  could not afford anything bigger but were able to buy a two bedroom house in Edinburgh, which is not a chap place to buy.

The bottom line is the OP has a few options. Upskill to earn more than 30-32k a year in London, take on a second job for a year or two at the weekends and sacrifice hanging out with mates for the long term good, or move out of London. 

Asia most definitely isn't the answer if Norwich is too far.

I earn 36k a year. I don't believe I ever said I earn 32k. 

32-40k is roughly an executive salary (i.e not entry level and not managerial). I'm talking about public and charity sector, publishing, arts etc. 

I find it ridiculous that it doesn't get you somewhere to live. 

The majority of adults in London won't earn over 40k. 

You didn't say 32k but you said you take home just over 2k a month. So I worked out around £2100-£2200 after tax and when you add your 20% tax works out around 32k a year.

Maybe you have other deductions student loans or whatever to come out and pension contributions.


It can buy you somewhere just not where you want.


I've asked you about your hobbies which you didn't reply. I've asked you how often you seen friends which was one of the reasons you didn't feel good in Norwich. Are all your friends mid 30s and single and in your situation?

Have you tried to upskill?

theoretica

wildbilljones said:

The majority of adults in London won't earn over 40k. 

The median London salary a year ago was £39.7k  (with about an £8k male/female gap!) so given salary increases over the last year I think you may be out of date there. https://www.plumplot.co.uk/London-salary-and-unemployment.html 

And the majority of adults who stay in London do find some way of living there...

[Deleted User]

LateStarter said:

Well I don't know OP, you seem have built yourself quite an odd narrative

• blaming the boomers for "voting for their own interest" (whose interest should they vote for?)

• believing that "there's very little work outside of London"? Are you mad - the UK unemployment rate is less than 4% - we're struggling to get staff from cleaners to accountants in my town in the Midlands.

• anger at the UK for the lack of governance and the dwindling opportunities - we're the 5th biggest economy in the world and yes there may be better places for you individually, but don't drag the country down to make yourself feel better

Yes the cost of housing in London in too expensive; but it's the same with New York or Paris, or Hong Kong and Tokyo, for that matter. 

Your problem is you're working for a below-average salary, based on education and career choices you made. Can you educate yourself into a higher paying job? Charity does not pay well at the lower levels. I have offspring working in that field, in London (which is why I'm responding), earning less than 30k, sharing a house in Zone 6 with 1 other person. And no, they'll never be able to buy a house.

My partner lived most of her life in London, and left because the equity in the house - that she couldn't afford the mortgage on - was most of the cost of a house further north. She was staying in London "for family", until her parents decided to leave for warmer climes. What will you do if something similar happens to you, and your friends/family move on?

You're in your 30s, and I'm not unsympathetic, but there's a point where your life is about you - not family or friends. I actually think moving abroad for a few years may be a great thing  as it'll break the narrative, and missing your social group will be an actual thing based on distance, rather than the half-life you're struggling with in Norfolk.

Once again, I'm not blaming the boomers. I'm blaming the governments. A culture of asset stripping, privatisation, property hoarding was encouraged and scant consideration was given to future generations. 

[Deleted User]

Retireby40 said:

wildbilljones said:

Retireby40 said:

sheramber said:

wildbilljones said:

sheramber said:

wildbilljones said:

sheramber said:

It is not a new situation.

20 years ago a colleagues daughter and son in law moved from London to Edinburgh when she became pregnant,  as , despite having two salaries, , they could only afford a small 1 bedroom flat.

House prices have risen over 140% in most UK cities in the last 20 years. Salaries haven't. So, respectfully, I think you're very wrong.  

How can I be wrong about a statement of fact.

This is the kind of stuff I hear from my parents. "It was hard when we first bought a house too". Their first house cost 40k in 1991. Unless they were earning about 4k a year (they weren't), it's entirely incomparable to the situation first-time buyers face now. 

But the scenario is the same.  

A young couple with two salaries- one was a teacher-  could not afford anything bigger but were able to buy a two bedroom house in Edinburgh, which is not a chap place to buy.

The bottom line is the OP has a few options. Upskill to earn more than 30-32k a year in London, take on a second job for a year or two at the weekends and sacrifice hanging out with mates for the long term good, or move out of London. 

Asia most definitely isn't the answer if Norwich is too far.

I earn 36k a year. I don't believe I ever said I earn 32k. 

32-40k is roughly an executive salary (i.e not entry level and not managerial). I'm talking about public and charity sector, publishing, arts etc. 

I find it ridiculous that it doesn't get you somewhere to live. 

The majority of adults in London won't earn over 40k. 

You didn't say 32k but you said you take home just over 2k a month. So I worked out around £2100-£2200 after tax and when you add your 20% tax works out around 32k a year.

Maybe you have other deductions student loans or whatever to come out and pension contributions.


It can buy you somewhere just not where you want.

Yes, it can buy me somewhere hundreds of miles from my friends and family in a place I've never wanted to be. 

[Deleted User]

theoretica said:

wildbilljones said:

The majority of adults in London won't earn over 40k. 

The median London salary a year ago was £39.7k  (with about an £8k male/female gap!) so given salary increases over the last year I think you may be out of date there. https://www.plumplot.co.uk/London-salary-and-unemployment.html 

And the majority of adults who stay in London do find some way of living there...

Yes and that way (if you're earning less than 45-50k) is sharing a house with other people and paying extortionate rent. 

theoretica

There aren't huge numbers of cheap properties in London, but to 'own a property, any property' there do seem to be options:

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/126740531#/?channel=RES_BUY

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/126721178#/?channel=RES_BUY

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/126655547#/?channel=RES_BUY

Retireby40

wildbilljones said:

Retireby40 said:

wildbilljones said:

Retireby40 said:

sheramber said:

wildbilljones said:

sheramber said:

wildbilljones said:

sheramber said:

It is not a new situation.

20 years ago a colleagues daughter and son in law moved from London to Edinburgh when she became pregnant,  as , despite having two salaries, , they could only afford a small 1 bedroom flat.

House prices have risen over 140% in most UK cities in the last 20 years. Salaries haven't. So, respectfully, I think you're very wrong.  

How can I be wrong about a statement of fact.

This is the kind of stuff I hear from my parents. "It was hard when we first bought a house too". Their first house cost 40k in 1991. Unless they were earning about 4k a year (they weren't), it's entirely incomparable to the situation first-time buyers face now. 

But the scenario is the same.  

A young couple with two salaries- one was a teacher-  could not afford anything bigger but were able to buy a two bedroom house in Edinburgh, which is not a chap place to buy.

The bottom line is the OP has a few options. Upskill to earn more than 30-32k a year in London, take on a second job for a year or two at the weekends and sacrifice hanging out with mates for the long term good, or move out of London. 

Asia most definitely isn't the answer if Norwich is too far.

I earn 36k a year. I don't believe I ever said I earn 32k. 

32-40k is roughly an executive salary (i.e not entry level and not managerial). I'm talking about public and charity sector, publishing, arts etc. 

I find it ridiculous that it doesn't get you somewhere to live. 

The majority of adults in London won't earn over 40k. 

You didn't say 32k but you said you take home just over 2k a month. So I worked out around £2100-£2200 after tax and when you add your 20% tax works out around 32k a year.

Maybe you have other deductions student loans or whatever to come out and pension contributions.


It can buy you somewhere just not where you want.

Yes, it can buy me somewhere hundreds of miles from my friends and family in a place I've never wanted to be. 

So instead of living 1 to 1hr 30 minutes away from your friends and family and owning your own house you would rather:

-flatshare all your life
-move to Asia 

You see where people are coming from. Your mentality is....if I can't live in the street where my friends and family live well life is dealing me a !!!!!! hand.

Most people in life have to make some compromise or sacrifice. Whether that be a smaller house. A house further away. Taking a better paid job somewhere else or a lower paid job in a cheaper area further from home. 

Maybe being in your 30s you still like your weekends out with friends and your Fifa nights with the lads/girls on a Thursday evening but that isn't going to last forever. And 1-1.5 hours away you can still do that. You're not moving to the other end of the country. Plus who in their 30s meets their friends every day?

What will be important until the day you die is having a roof over your head and preferably one you own that when your 60 you can sell for more money than you paid and then you can go to Asia, I recommend Thailand, and live like a king. There you will have more friends than you could ever have in London.....mind it will come at a price.

[Deleted User]

Retireby40 said:

[Deleted User] said:

Retireby40 said:

wildbilljones said:

Retireby40 said:

sheramber said:

[Deleted User] said:

sheramber said:

[Deleted User] said:

sheramber said:

It is not a new situation.

20 years ago a colleagues daughter and son in law moved from London to Edinburgh when she became pregnant,  as , despite having two salaries, , they could only afford a small 1 bedroom flat.

House prices have risen over 140% in most UK cities in the last 20 years. Salaries haven't. So, respectfully, I think you're very wrong.  

How can I be wrong about a statement of fact.

This is the kind of stuff I hear from my parents. "It was hard when we first bought a house too". Their first house cost 40k in 1991. Unless they were earning about 4k a year (they weren't), it's entirely incomparable to the situation first-time buyers face now. 

But the scenario is the same.  

A young couple with two salaries- one was a teacher-  could not afford anything bigger but were able to buy a two bedroom house in Edinburgh, which is not a chap place to buy.

The bottom line is the OP has a few options. Upskill to earn more than 30-32k a year in London, take on a second job for a year or two at the weekends and sacrifice hanging out with mates for the long term good, or move out of London. 

Asia most definitely isn't the answer if Norwich is too far.

I earn 36k a year. I don't believe I ever said I earn 32k. 

32-40k is roughly an executive salary (i.e not entry level and not managerial). I'm talking about public and charity sector, publishing, arts etc. 

I find it ridiculous that it doesn't get you somewhere to live. 

The majority of adults in London won't earn over 40k. 

You didn't say 32k but you said you take home just over 2k a month. So I worked out around £2100-£2200 after tax and when you add your 20% tax works out around 32k a year.

Maybe you have other deductions student loans or whatever to come out and pension contributions.


It can buy you somewhere just not where you want.

Yes, it can buy me somewhere hundreds of miles from my friends and family in a place I've never wanted to be. 

So instead of living 1 to 1hr 30 minutes away from your friends and family and owning your own house you would rather:

-flatshare all your life
-move to Asia 

You see where people are coming from. Your mentality is....if I can't live in the street where my friends and family live well life is dealing me a !!!!!! hand.

Most people in life have to make some compromise or sacrifice. Whether that be a smaller house. A house further away. Taking a better paid job somewhere else or a lower paid job in a cheaper area further from home. 

Maybe being in your 30s you still like your weekends out with friends and your Fifa nights with the lads on a Thursday evening but that isn't going to last forever. What will be important until the day you die is having a roof over your head and preferably one you own that when your 60 you can sell for more money than you paid and then you can go to Asia, I recommend Thailand, and live like a king.

Hoping to not be forced to live 100 miles from your family is not insisting on living on the same street.

Thanks for your condescending, useless advice.