NST September 2022 Picture yourself on a boat on a canal

Toni'sfriend

Glad your PIP has been all sorted out, Grandmanerd. That must be a huge weight of your mind.

Another glorious sunrise this morning. I'm up on my own enjoying the peace and quiet before the Boy starts working again. It was after 9.00pm when he finished last night, I didn't realize he worked so hard.

I don't know what we'll be doing today but I suspect a walk will be involved if Himself's joints are up to it. Meanwhile I'd better go get tidied up and orgainised.

grandmanerd

Tuesday 13th September 2022
Depressed me WANTS TO:
Sleep (a lot)          Eat (a lot)          Cry in the shower          Cry in Bed          Stare blankly into space             Scroll bookface etc
Depressed me NEEDS TO:
Sleep           Journal           Talk about it          Read           Cry           Watch a comfort show             Eat            Make a to do list
Tidy my room           Adjust my routine           Sit outside           Cuddle my pets           Have a long shower           Play a game
Find something funny            Be gentle with myself

Wants and Needs don't just apply to money.
Sorry I wasn't feeling inspired, a bit flat and looked for appropriate quotes from my collection. some very strange detours 'I don't feel worky' and also needed some quotes about considering every purchase (wants v needs). Stumbled on this, then noticed it spoke to both how I felt (at that moment) and the part of the challenge I was trying to address. Serendipity. And now I feel better because I had put together a to do list and it already included many of these elements (so I recognised what i needed).

It was just that my room looked like such a mess. I am working on it but it's physically beyond me to do very much and it feels like it slides into chaos every time I have to stop. I would like to pull as much as possible out of the room, clean it then put things back in order, but I can't do it that way any more so will have to find a new way of doing it. Start from where I am, use what I have, do what I can.

Today
The day started cold and misty but the suns coming out and burning off the haze. I think we'll travel down as far as Worsley today. Our next bridge (I'm using bridges as they tend to be 'civilisation clusters' - probably the people on on one side needed to connect with the other side) is at Astley Green Colliery which is now the Lancashire Mining Museum and has the only remaining working head gear (the wheel on sticks thing) in the Lancashire Coalfield. It's very interesting (they're restoring the old sidings and a coal train) but run by volunteers so visiting days are limited - there's a lot going on from October 1st, but it's quiet now. There's also a sensory farm nearby (on my list of places to visit) with animals up to and including llamas. If you go down the lane you can walk through Astley Moss (Site of Special Scientific Interest south of the canal and to the North of the Manchester and Liverpool rail line). Many birds including Barn owls.

After that our next bridge (point for getting off the boat) is Boothstown, an urban village on the Salford/ Wigan boundary. Apparently they have a small Gin distillery (inspired by a local botanist/ herbalist) and RHS Bridgewater is nearby. 

End quotes
Needs are imposed by nature, wants are sold by society (Mokokoma Mokhanoana)

KxMx

@grandmanerd Now that you have been awarded PIP I think an excellent use would be a cleaner/de clutterer in your bedroom, they can get it to a point where it's pretty much a blank canvas for you to more easily maintain yourself afterwards.

PIP is meant to make your life easier and pay for the things that you can't do yourself. 

It definitely fits in with Start from where I am, use what I have, do what I can.

I just had a dilemma yesterday about whether I should register myself with power network on their priority register - after identifying myself to supplier a few months ago I had a text invite. 

As with supplier I didn't really see what extra support I needed in practice, but in theory I do fit the criteria so I decided it would be sensible to go ahead and register. Sigh. 

f0xh0les

@grandmanerd, if your living room was a nice orderly comfortable place to work, would you need to drag all that stuff upstairs to your bedroom all the time?   Maybe the problem is not your bedroom, but what you are using your bedroom for?  Just wondering .......   But then again, the paperwork involved in great-grandma-nerd's estate, plus your trials and tribulations with the U/C monsters and P1P might resolve itself soon and that would mean less paperwork all over the place.  I cannot wait to be able to burn some of my step-gran's bumpf when the estate winds up.  Even though it is filed, it is there, looking at me, sneaking a peek every now and then, and it is i.n.t.r.u.s.i.v.e.

I am supposed to be clipping the front hedge, I am sitting on the sofa considering reading a book. My tea is lovely though.

pollyanna_26

KxMx said:

@grandmanerd Now that you have been awarded PIP I think an excellent use would be a cleaner/de clutterer in your bedroom, they can get it to a point where it's pretty much a blank canvas for you to more easily maintain yourself afterwards.

PIP is meant to make your life easier and pay for the things that you can't do yourself. 

It definitely fits in with Start from where I am, use what I have, do what I can.

I just had a dilemma yesterday about whether I should register myself with power network on their priority register - after identifying myself to supplier a few months ago I had a text invite. 

As with supplier I didn't really see what extra support I needed in practice, but in theory I do fit the criteria so I decided it would be sensible to go ahead and register. Sigh. 

Congratulations on the PIP award GMN. The advice from KxMx is excellent. As she says PIP is meant to make your life easier and can hellp sort things in life you struggle with.

I was in the last group of women to get their state pension at the original state pension age rather than the new later age; I'd had to retire earlier than planned when youngest with all her medical and other appointments and overwhelming anxiety needed me at home.

I got a letter when the pension service needed me to  phone to trigger my pension. Already snowed under with letters re dd I dreaded that call. I found myself talking to a lovely woman in Blackpool just a bit further up the coast. She went through the pension claim then asked if I'd ever heard of Pension Credit. I hadn't so she said it was meant to bring a reduced pension up to a better level and added it to my pension claim.

It helped so much over the years and with the rising prices of utilities etc proved to be a passport to the cost of living payment and other things.

Local council wrote a while back informing me I was entitled to the energy payment a and that was in my current account soon afterwards. They've just sent a letter to let me know the second part is now available and to collect it from any post office taking suitable ID with me.

I'm surpried the winter fuel allowance and other pensioner allowances will be enhanced although I don't claim any benefit other than Pension Credit. In the current situation it qualifies me for a lot of help I never imaginned now we're in tough times.

One thing that surprised me when I became a pensioner was the flood of letters from utility and other companies which made me a priority in things like water, power and other outages and meant help would come.

Kx Mx do register with any companies that contact you it can help if the lights go out. flooding or water shortages and many other things

GMN I have been telling you to pace and rest for a long time. The mindfullness. art group etc are positives but you're damaging both physical and mental health with those long lists of things to do, Many include heavy tasks, lifting and shifting and are very target driven often leading to you feeling upset , frustrated etc.

Pollyx

Esmeralda2662

Hugs, Grandmanerd. You've been through a lot and need some TLC.

Kxmx - if it doesn't cost anything g to sign up then go for it! You might not think it will help but might need it if anything happens with the power supply.

Weenancy - I've been to stay with my friend in Germany and they did the same but for Easter celebrations. My memory of traipsing in the snow to help weigh and package fresh fish that they had bred, caught and just killed to sell locally for Good Friday was not one of my favourites. Thank goodness for chocolate!

Thrifty - I wanted to be a librarian too as a kid! That or work in a post office. Think it was the thought of stamping things!

Been to the doctors and now awaiting appointments for x-ray and colonoscopy.

Off to the tip for a tip run to clear out shed and yard.

Glad for sun, tip booking, doctor trying to fix me. X

grandmanerd

f0xh0les said:

@grandmanerd, if your living room was a nice orderly comfortable place to work, would you need to drag all that stuff upstairs to your bedroom all the time?   Maybe the problem is not your bedroom, but what you are using your bedroom for?  Just wondering .......   But then again, the paperwork involved in great-grandma-nerd's estate, plus your trials and tribulations with the U/C monsters and P1P might resolve itself soon and that would mean less paperwork all over the place.  I cannot wait to be able to burn some of my step-gran's bumpf when the estate winds up.  Even though it is filed, it is there, looking at me, sneaking a peek every now and then, and it is i.n.t.r.u.s.i.v.e.

I am supposed to be clipping the front hedge, I am sitting on the sofa considering reading a book. My tea is lovely though.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news f0xh0les but there are parts of the Estate paperwork that you are supposed to keep for 20 years. I still have some of my dad's (I have gone through it at regular intervals and whittled it down) but I can finally get rid of that once I've sorted the relevant bit of mum's (they took out life insurance policies on each other when they were married).

I'm still being haunted by gf past. I thought I'd dealt with the one who lives in France (the one from the university years) but now (think it must be their school holidays) she's found time to write to me, saying she wants to keep in touch. In the same post (they were in mum's post box) was a letter from the husband of one of mum's cousin's daughters, thanking my for the photos I'd sent and explaining that his wife hadn't written herself because she'd had a cancer scare, had treatment but was still very frail. (they're a lot older than me).  What's worse is neither of them have put their addresses at the top and I think I discarded them once I thought the polite exchanges were over (telling them about mum, giving funeral details but no obligation to come, them contacting me and sending a donation in lieu of flowers and then me sending an order of service and photos including a sepia one of her mum when she was about four with one of my grand-father's other sisters). 

I had a phone call last week from another daughter of a cousin (but one we saw regularly through childhood as she lived with our great-grandma) but there are two people I wanted to keep in touch with and I just haven't.

I had my phone appointment with the doctor this morning and DS3 brought up a half inch thick pile of bumph from the solicitor. I had been wondering where it was as I have to get proof of identity for the Estate agent from my brother (think my niece might be able to send it electronically if my brother's laptop is up to it) so better to have both lots to do. I think the main problem is that when I do get it partly filed and in order someone then wants random bits of information from me. that and not having a sufficiently large space to put it all on to sort in one fell swoop (other than the bed). DS3 did look around and say 'What a pity you don't have a desk'. I did not respond because I think he's trying to dump his desk (which he went and bought after I'd asked him to use the old kitchen table). It's got those hairpin legs and I cannot wait to get it out of my house. 

Anyway dismantling the wardrobe is going well (didn't need a hammer, just the trusty crowbar).

f0xh0les

Oh hell!! 20 years?? Eek!! - she had no life insurance policies, her house was sold through the solicitors,  and her only savings were in building societies and were closed by the solicitor who witnessed her will - which is why I am using them, so I can prove I am carrying out her will to the letter.  Just in case her husband's daughters ever come out of the woodwork - he died 32 years ago without a will, so step-gran inherited everything and the only daughter she met has not bothered to see her for at least 20 odd years (that would be my mother - who I have thankfully not seen for 25 years)

Partly filed, and then needing random information is something I can totally empathise with.   20 years?? (((shudder)))

grandmanerd

Don't panic f0xh0les, it's mainly accounts and stuff the Inland Revenue might want to see. I still have some copies of my dad's death certificate (and my brother's). It's my brother dying in between our parents that complicates things (or will be complicated when I'm trying to explain it to an average insurance clerk) so I've got a few more bits of his paperwork and stuff about selling his house and all my negotiations with the Inland Revenue. Stuff about mum's funeral arrangements has already gone, except for the bill which is in the accounts (which need bringing up to date as soon as possible ).

Currently waiting for my niece to phone me back so she can organise my brother into gathering his documents for both the EA and the solicitors. I need his copy of the will too (I need to link my mother to the property and provide the paper trail that links me and my brother to it, too). When I applied for probate I sent 2 copies of the will, explaining that one was the original and one a copy (both done on the library photocopier) and I didn't know which was which - at one point mum's partner's son took all the paperwork away to sort out his dad's stuff and ours was handed back to me in a bin bag. 

Donkey load of stuff to fill in for the solicitors and then gathering all the bits of paper they want but I've defeated the wardrobe.

Grateful for easy food (I'm having a delivery between 7 pm and 8 pm - new to me so £20 off and free delivery), more bin sorting, some relaxing, walking all the way to little arseda and back (3 sit downs each way).

pollyanna_26

Do you sitill  use the walker with a seat you used for hospital visits or shopping?  I was never sure if that was mums or shared between you both but recall you sitting and having a rest when out and about.

Youngest was a young childwhen our then GP suggested applying for DLA and sometime later Incapicity allowance. DLA is now PIP and her incapacity allowance became  Support group ESA.

With lots of NHS paperwork and Benefitsl letters I realised I needed a filing system. We already had a 3 in1 printer .So everything could be copied for future reference if needed stored in eco friendly clear sleeves and put in files. labellled with the date and what if applied too.

It's worked well for many years. They have their own space and are easy to pick out for a query. They were valuable recently when dd emailed  when her ESA payment hadn't apppeared in her current account then later a big mix up over her PIP form. I spent quite some time hanging on phones but aftet another phone call to both when the situation hadn't been sorted as promised

both problems were resolved. I always return each piece of paper to it's own sleeve so no losing the run of when and why.

Any photographs I have are in frames. No people I've never heard of or met.

Although mum took us to visit beautiful gardens and historical buildings I have only one photagraph of her in my wedding album from the day my 1st husband and I married and she was standing between us. Always  camera shy like my dad.

The only photographs I saw of him were of a young blonde man by then his hair was darker. Those images were taken when he signed up for Royal Navy convoy duties when war broke out long before   I was born.

I last saw those sea books the day my youngest sister and I were clearing mums house when she was going to live with sis.

Just things she'd need for now but when we went back the sea books were missing.

Sis had never forgotten the cape I crocheted to cover her shoulders and arms when the weather forecast said snow for us on that June wedding day. It seemed unlikely but the snow came down and she kept complaining about the cape through decades. Both my sisters were much younger than me and she was  a young child that day

i have become quite concerned like F0xhOles at how often recently you've mentioned only being able to  manage one trip downstairs and one back to your room. You should be able to do the things you need to do downstairs in comfort. Your bedroom should be a sanctuary rather than a workspace

pollyx