I have doubts on the house we're buying / love another house

Rachelredwood16

Hi all, 

My first post on here and it's a long one. 

We've had a bit of a rough time so far purchasing our new house within the first couple of weeks and I know it gets more stressful the further down the line you go. I'm starting to have doubts on whether the house is "worth it". Honestly, I didn't "love" the house. I liked it and it fits our needs and I could see us living there but I'm not sure if I was just happy enough with it as we weren't successful on a house we both much preferred at the time. My husband has since said he actually prefers this house now. 

So listening to other people (which is normally a bad idea!), I thought it would be worth seeing a couple more properties in the hope that I would visit them and think "no, I definitely want the house we're purchasing", I thought that about the first one, the second one that we viewed yesterday I love, it's very similar to the house we missed out on and I very much prefer it. I want to go back to see the house we're currently purchasing to just double check I think it's "worth it" and get another feel for it. We were supposed to go round yesterday, but the vendor could no longer accommodate us so we've had to rearrange until Friday. The house we viewed yesterday is doing best & final offers tomorrow and I'm stuck on what to do. 

We haven't put any money into the current purchase yet as their solicitor is dragging their feet getting the contract pack out, which seems silly given our vendor is purchasing a new build and the house builder wants to exchange contracts within 42 days (6 weeks) and we're already 2 weeks into that. Add on top that our solicitor won't exchange contracts without a fixed completion date (unlikely given the new build) & they're currently purchasing the freehold that needs to be registered on the land registry before we exchange too. Our buyer will also certainly not exchange without a fixed completion date as they weren't happy with the idea of completing in November when the new build is due. Which was crazy given how long it's taking at the moment they wouldn't have been looking at completion until around then anyway. They're an investor so not like they want to move in to avoid paying rent or anything like that. 

In my situation, what would you do? Sorry this is so long and if you read it all & provide advice thank you very much!

housebuyer143

I would view and offer on the other if you love it that much. 

Very similar thing happened here. I offered on a house because it ticked most the boxes and because I could live there. I would however keep questioning things in my mind like the room sizes, the garden etc. 
A few days later this house came on the market and it was everything i wanted with no compromise, it was even in the area I said was that main place I wanted to live, it was larger and the same price!
I went up view it (because you have to right?) and I knew the moment the door opened it was my house. 
We offered on the doorstep and got it. Pulled out of the other one. 

I have no regrets at all. My new house is everything I wanted while the first was full of doubts. I actually went back for a second viewing like you after my offer was accepted to "remind" myself of the place when in reality I was trying to convince myself. 

Do not feel bad if you change your mind. Just be upfront so the sellers do not waste too much time. 

RAS

Buying from people who are buying a new build is almost always going to be a nightmare. Which is why your solicitor is being careful.

For reference, solicitors won't exchange without a completion date, but your vendor's will probably only get 7-14 days notice and it's quite possible that November will be delayed. You may end up with a long-stop date. Exchange soon but you can only pull out if you don't complete by December?

From the point of view of stress and simplicity, the more recent house is likely to be a better bet because it is already bricks and mortar.

Rachelredwood16

housebuyer143 said:

I would view and offer on the other if you love it that much. 

Very similar thing happened here. I offered on a house because it ticked most the boxes and because I could live there. I would however keep questioning things in my mind like the room sizes, the garden etc. 
A few days later this house came on the market and it was everything i wanted with no compromise, it was even in the area I said was that main place I wanted to live, it was larger and the same price!
I went up view it (because you have to right?) and I knew the moment the door opened it was my house. 
We offered on the doorstep and got it. Pulled out of the other one. 

I have no regrets at all. My new house is everything I wanted while the first was full of doubts. I actually went back for a second viewing like you after my offer was accepted to "remind" myself of the place when in reality I was trying to convince myself. 

Do not feel bad if you change your mind. Just be upfront so the sellers do not waste too much time. 

I keep questioning whether I like the lounge, it's rectangular and we've always said we want a square - this 2nd house has a square lounge. I think the rectangular one may look more cramped? I also don't like the kitchen in the original house so that would need to be re-done and the carpets need replacing. The 2nd house doesn't need these things so we'd save money there. The houses are up for the same price but the 2nd has ever so slightly less floor space. The 2nd one doesn't have a dining room though so we're losing space for that.

My issue is my husband isn't sold on it and doesn't think we can "grow" there very much. I think we can and both houses have scope for extensions although he doesn't feel this new one does. 

You definitely have to view another house if you're unsure! I think I'm trying to do the same as you, convince myself that it's what I want. I just wish we could view the original one sooner than Friday. 

Rachelredwood16

RAS said:

Buying from people who are buying a new build is almost always going to be a nightmare. Which is why your solicitor is being careful.

For reference, solicitors won't exchange without a completion date, but your vendor's will probably only get 7-14 days notice and it's quite possible that November will be delayed. You may end up with a long-stop date. Exchange soon but you can only pull out if you don't complete by December?

From the point of view of stress and simplicity, the more recent house is likely to be a better bet because it is already bricks and mortar.

I'm very happy with our solicitor so far, she's been very helpful! I think with the vendor using 2 solicitors for the freehold purchase and their sale is putting me off too. We can't get a straight answer on where they are with the freehold purchase. We were told when we viewed it was well underway but I genuinely think they hadn't started the process until they accepted an offer. 

Our first house (one we're in now) is a new build on the same site so we know how the purchase works, know the area, know how quickly they throw up houses so a delay beyond November isn't my concern, but I know it is for our buyer as they have stated this. 

I am very much a stressful person so I don't want anything that adds any undue stress. 

For reference, the house we're buying has us, our buyer (investor), our vendor and their new build - so a chain of 4. The house we looked at yesterday would have us, our buyer, the vendor, then 2 more purchases onwards - so a chain of 5. They've found a property and those people have found their onward purchase that is currently vacant and everyone wants to move quickly. I'm not sure if that makes a difference? 

74jax

Can you post links to both houses? Obviously we can't be in your mind and know exactly what your wanting, but can point out possible advantages /disadvantages you can't see for looking, if that makes sence. 

housebuyer143

Rachelredwood16 said:

housebuyer143 said:

I would view and offer on the other if you love it that much. 

Very similar thing happened here. I offered on a house because it ticked most the boxes and because I could live there. I would however keep questioning things in my mind like the room sizes, the garden etc. 
A few days later this house came on the market and it was everything i wanted with no compromise, it was even in the area I said was that main place I wanted to live, it was larger and the same price!
I went up view it (because you have to right?) and I knew the moment the door opened it was my house. 
We offered on the doorstep and got it. Pulled out of the other one. 

I have no regrets at all. My new house is everything I wanted while the first was full of doubts. I actually went back for a second viewing like you after my offer was accepted to "remind" myself of the place when in reality I was trying to convince myself. 

Do not feel bad if you change your mind. Just be upfront so the sellers do not waste too much time. 

I keep questioning whether I like the lounge, it's rectangular and we've always said we want a square - this 2nd house has a square lounge. I think the rectangular one may look more cramped? I also don't like the kitchen in the original house so that would need to be re-done and the carpets need replacing. The 2nd house doesn't need these things so we'd save money there. The houses are up for the same price but the 2nd has ever so slightly less floor space. The 2nd one doesn't have a dining room though so we're losing space for that.

My issue is my husband isn't sold on it and doesn't think we can "grow" there very much. I think we can and both houses have scope for extensions although he doesn't feel this new one does. 

You definitely have to view another house if you're unsure! I think I'm trying to do the same as you, convince myself that it's what I want. I just wish we could view the original one sooner than Friday. 

The house has to be right for you both so if you are both not sold on either then maybe you keep looking?

It's very hard though when you need to move as you have that added pressure behind you and you don't know if anything else suitable will come up. A few compromises are okay but if you are questioning it then I think you might have made too many. 

I have a rectangular lounge in my new place and it's not bad once you get used to it. A bit of clever painting has helped with making the room feel shorter but if you entertain a lot, it is a little strange when your guest are sitting at one end and you the other 🤣🤣 feel like I need to shout to them! 

Woolsery

From experience, I'd say don't buy unless you are both completely happy with the purchase, especially if its intended as a long term property.

Few of us ever get that dream property, but when one partner buys into the joys of a particular house and the other finds they cannot, the stage is set for conflict. If it's agreed as a short-term, stepping stone property the imbalance may be tolerable, but if one of you sees it as more than that, the other will grow to view it more like a prison sentence.

Rachelredwood16

housebuyer143 said:

Rachelredwood16 said:

housebuyer143 said:

I would view and offer on the other if you love it that much. 

Very similar thing happened here. I offered on a house because it ticked most the boxes and because I could live there. I would however keep questioning things in my mind like the room sizes, the garden etc. 
A few days later this house came on the market and it was everything i wanted with no compromise, it was even in the area I said was that main place I wanted to live, it was larger and the same price!
I went up view it (because you have to right?) and I knew the moment the door opened it was my house. 
We offered on the doorstep and got it. Pulled out of the other one. 

I have no regrets at all. My new house is everything I wanted while the first was full of doubts. I actually went back for a second viewing like you after my offer was accepted to "remind" myself of the place when in reality I was trying to convince myself. 

Do not feel bad if you change your mind. Just be upfront so the sellers do not waste too much time. 

I keep questioning whether I like the lounge, it's rectangular and we've always said we want a square - this 2nd house has a square lounge. I think the rectangular one may look more cramped? I also don't like the kitchen in the original house so that would need to be re-done and the carpets need replacing. The 2nd house doesn't need these things so we'd save money there. The houses are up for the same price but the 2nd has ever so slightly less floor space. The 2nd one doesn't have a dining room though so we're losing space for that.

My issue is my husband isn't sold on it and doesn't think we can "grow" there very much. I think we can and both houses have scope for extensions although he doesn't feel this new one does. 

You definitely have to view another house if you're unsure! I think I'm trying to do the same as you, convince myself that it's what I want. I just wish we could view the original one sooner than Friday. 

The house has to be right for you both so if you are both not sold on either then maybe you keep looking?

It's very hard though when you need to move as you have that added pressure behind you and you don't know if anything else suitable will come up. A few compromises are okay but if you are questioning it then I think you might have made too many. 

I have a rectangular lounge in my new place and it's not bad once you get used to it. A bit of clever painting has helped with making the room feel shorter but if you entertain a lot, it is a little strange when your guest are sitting at one end and you the other 🤣🤣 feel like I need to shout to them! 

100% we both have to be happy so I guess it would be neither in this case. 

I need to be able to go round and measure up where our sofa would go as it's a corner one, Im not entirely sure where it would fit. I recall thinking it could go in one space but I'm not entirely sure what it looked like in person, even looking at the floorplan & photos isn't helping!

I think it's just because of the negativity surrounding it. I can't say for certain if I wouldn't view any other houses if there wasn't so much going on with it. I was keeping an eye on rightmove still but for curiosity sake more than anything and this one appeared right when I realised I had doubts.

Rachelredwood16

Woolsery said:

From experience, I'd say don't buy unless you are both completely happy with the purchase, especially if its intended as a long term property.

Few of us ever get that dream property, but when one partner buys into the joys of a particular house and the other finds they cannot, the stage is set for conflict. If it's agreed as a short-term, stepping stone property the imbalance may be tolerable, but if one of you sees it as more than that, the other will grow to view it more like a prison sentence.

It's definitely a longer term thing, we said it would be for 10 years. My husband is now thinking of it being a "forever home", which is fine by me as less cost, stress etc for having to move again! I'm so conflicted as I felt really positive about it until things started to go tits up & now I'm overthining it & wondering what if.

Bendy_House

Rachelredwood16 said:

I keep questioning whether I like the lounge, it's rectangular and we've always said we want a square - this 2nd house has a square lounge. I think the rectangular one may look more cramped? I also don't like the kitchen in the original house so that would need to be re-done and the carpets need replacing. The 2nd house doesn't need these things so we'd save money there. The houses are up for the same price but the 2nd has ever so slightly less floor space.

The 2nd one doesn't have a dining room though so we're losing space for that.

I have to say, I was expecting more than that!

The vast majority of sitting rooms are rectangular, no? So if 'square' is important, you may be waiting a long time.

The kitchen and carpets need doing. Fair enough - that is an extra outlay, but then you get to fit what you really want with these two very important features.

The second house is smaller?

The second house doesn't have a separate dining room? (A spare room can have a multitude of purposes, not just dining. I'd have thought that a 'biggie').

So, on paper, the first house wins!

Tbh, I was expecting "The second house backs on to open fields/ is near the park/ is on a leafier street/ is in a nicer community/ has a lot of original features" type stuff.

In which case, I was going to suggest you both sit down, head up a sheet of paper with each outside by side, and begin to list the PROS of each, and if you can putting an 'out-of-five' figure to each point.

And then ditto with a list of cons.

It might help, or it might not. It'll be hard to put figures on how they make you 'feel', or the importance of location, but these ARE valid, tangible reasons too, so should have figures on them.