Evasive action! Stop the trench becoming a hole.

KeepOnKnitting

Oof, the lintels are going to be expensive. Way more expensive than I thought they would be. I don't have the extra cash, so it's going to have to be thrown on the credit card or something for a little while. 

It's given me the impetus to finally decide it is time to rent out the spare room. I've been meaning to do this since I moved in two years ago, but I've just been putting it off again and again. Now it has to happen. There is just not enough flex in my income otherwise. Will get it put online this weekend.

Car passed it's MOT, and without any major issues, so that's good. 

I'm not feeling too frustrated. I know that overall it will all work out in the end, and while my cash savings are taking a real hit right now, I'm not going to go bankrupt (this time) and I don't need to be anxious, just sensible.

KeepOnKnitting

I've tried talking myself out of the anxiety, but it really isn't working that well. Borrowing money scares me. I managed the anxiety with the student loan, because I knew it was a step towards a better life for myself. I could deal with the credit cards because I never carried a balance from one month to the next. I managed it with the mortgage by keeping my income multiple low and because I could never have bought a house otherwise. I could just about manage with the bathroom loan without crying because it was 0%.

I'm going to have to borrow to sort out the windows. It is going to cost a fee. I don't have it saved in another account as backup. I just pure and simple don't have enough money to cover keeping my house in one piece. To me this feels just a hop, skip and a jump from going bankrupt again. I'm trying not to be melodramatic, but this is pushing all my buttons about feeling unstable, a failure, not good enough etc. This is what I have been trying to avoid since 2015.

WinterWarrior

Hi keepon, the feelings are perfectly understandable. It’s incredibly hard to go back to owing once the hard work has been done to climb out of that. But just think of the value you are adding to your property, the safety of having supported windows and the knowledge that once it’s done, it’s done. This won’t be unnecessary debt spent on frittering, this is planned debt for a very good and sensible cause. Much like a mortgage it is allowing you to live safely and comfortably in your own home. I would choose a loan that you can overpay, so you can then hammer it down quickly, if you have the opportunity, but leave it ticking along in the background where necessary, rather than leave yourself short. This is a good thing, not a bad thing, as you are in a position where you can have a loan and you are making your house safe. You’ve got this! 

Aimingforthegoodlife

I agree with winterwarrior, of course it is triggering, you have been through such difficult times before, but this time it is different, you are different! Much like the student loan, improving you, this loan is to improve your home, this will add value in the long run. OP options on loans is a good idea, allows some flexibility! You got this!

dawnybabes

This loan is to add value to the house. 

Def look for a lodger if you’ve the space, the extra income could be chucked at the loan. 

KeepOnKnitting

Thanks @WinterWarrior, @Aimingforthegoodlife and @dawnybabes, you are all right. It is a good thing in the long run. 

I've done the best thing I can do with the anxiety, and turned it into action. I've taken photos and advertised the spare room for rent. Have been for a walk with friends this morning as well, and that has helped remind me what it is all about. I've still got to clear up some of the mess left by the builders (the lintels being fitted has resulted in rubble on the inside windowsills) and then I think I deserve to sit and chill with a movie this afternoon.

KeepOnKnitting

I've made my sandwiches for the rest of the week! Woo!

WinterWarrior

KeepOnKnitting said:

I've made my sandwiches for the rest of the week! Woo!

Can you eat them now? 😅

KeepOnKnitting

Not now, but usually in spite of my 1pm lunch in my diary, they are usually starting to disappear by 11ish. 

I'm on the late finish today, so I've got a tin of something for the evening as well.

WinterWarrior

I love a sandwich 😋. I’m trying to have more wraps as they agree with me a bit better than bread and take a bit more chewing (to trick myself into thinking there’s more), but I do love sandwiches. 

I hope you survive the late finish ✨