Money Moral Dilemma: Should we keep evenly splitting restaurant bills even though we don’t drink?

kajsa

This is not a moral dilemma. You pay for what you ordered. Whether people are drinking or not is irrelevant as you can have one person ordering beer and another ordering expensive cocktails. Or one person ordering a salad and another ordering steak and lobster. Pay for your own food and drinks. If anyone has a problem with that, they are the problem.

Pissiinthewind

I'm amazed just how many people are infuriated by this very common behaviour by our so called "friends", but I'm certain many of us don't speak up when confronted by this situation. I'm no different to these other "silent"  sufferers. Most people go with the flow and don't want to appear out of step. They behave like Lemmings. I don't understand this attitude. 
I agree with the majority of previous members updates for all the reasons and situations mentioned before. This type of behaviour is usually reflected in how certain people order food. They will always order something more expensive than most reasonable and considerate friends. It's my belief they do so deliberately, knowing full well that whatever their friends are thinking they won't challenge them. We're all very predictable, and they take advantage of our friendship and our pockets.
It took me a long time to realise that this type of person isn't my friend, and to keep them at arms length.

Ringo90

Pissiinthewind said:

I'm amazed just how many people are infuriated by this very common behaviour by our so called "friends", but I'm certain many of us don't speak up when confronted by this situation. I'm no different to these other "silent"  sufferers. Most people go with the flow and don't want to appear out of step. They behave like Lemmings. I don't understand this attitude. 

As a person who drinks little to no alcohol, I must say usually this fact alone puts you in a situation in which you are made to feel "different" or, even worse, the party pooper. Many people in this country consider it normal to have 3, 4, 5 or more drinks on a night out and in their eyes it's annoying that you don't. If you add to this that you don't even want to subside their drinks, it must be infuriating to them. On the bright side, it's a good way to select friends. You like your booze, I like my dessert. If you're not happy with this, I'm going out with someone else, if I can.
Oh, by the way, I will happily split even if there's not a huge difference, a couple pounds won't change my life. But if I only drink a coke and have a single meal and a friend has 3 cocktails, starter, main and dessert then yeah they should be the first one to see it unfair and suggest to have separate bills. That's what I'd do.

Longfordmuse

To keep your friendship, simply suggest that you ask for the food and the alcohol items to be put on separate bills.  The alcohol bill to be split amongst your friends.  Or go to a BYO restaurant.

megthedog

I had this argument with my sister in law who didn't drink, until I pointed out that her soft drink cost more that my alcoholic one

fifty-something

Hell no!  No friend should keep behaving like that.

honestcove

No easy answer as you’ve gone along with the group so far - tacit acceptance of the rules of engagement. Do nothing and smile - that’ll eat you away inside. Try and change the group - it won’t land well: whats changed they’ll ask.
Maybe time to find a new group and help set the rules of that group from the outset so that they work for you.

primrose_penguin

I am amazed your friends have not said anything during your evenings out together, they must realise you don't drink alcohol and are paying towards their substantial rounds. It is time to have a conversation and as others have said opt out of the drinks bill and pay for your own. They should have suggested it themselves, I would never expect friends who don't drink to pay towards mine and everyone else's when we all go out for a meal together.

SultanPepper

Do what you can afford, just remember to include a share of the tip if the staff have gone above and beyond. This upsets me more than people itemising what they had. 
If you want to be invited out again rather than give £17.80 for your exact share maybe throw in a £20. if you have to break out the calculator you arent invited out again.
I personally always split evenly whether ive had soft drinks or not. 

diystarter7

This thread does make me cringe and I thank myself for not doing so-called friends and this kind of thing.

If we invite people to a meet/eat out we pay, no ifs, no buts. Thankfully we rarely do that and never taken up an offer of an invite just becuse of stuff like this. It is cringeworthy reading this thread - why do people bother?