The Mental Debt Struggle...

Keedie

Yes I thought so too @Makingabobor2. It's the 6% Natwest Digital Saver that you can save a maximum of £150 a month. They dropped the rate recently to 5.5%, but it's still such a good rate. That's why I religiously pay the £150 a month into that account. One of my sisters and my mum is also doing the same saver. I've encouraged my son to set up one as well and he said that once he's done his PAT qualification later in the month and will be able to do more types of work he'll have better income and will be able to start properly saving. 

We go to Tunisia on Sunday and I'm so behind. I've not packed a thing! I've not even done the laundry to enable to pack 😬🤦🏾‍♀️😬🤦🏾‍♀️😬🤦🏾‍♀️... I'm in for a long weekend. But the good thing is that I have gotten lots of freelance work this week, and although I'm knackered by that, it means that I should hopefully have a higher budget for September 2025 if I am paid on time for my invoice. It also means I can just be away on holiday and know that I've still hit my freelance hours target because I did so much this week.

Cherryfudge

Well done on all the freelance work Keedie - it shows you are needed! I hope you're not too frazzled and exhausted by it.

Don't worry too much about the packing. You know what you generally need - passport, ticket, keys, phone & charger, money, medication, change of clothes. Anything else can be bought while there, though obviously you can cut costs by having more than one change of clothes! Is there a laundry facility where you'll be staying? If so, you don't even need to worry about washing before you go! I've never been to Tunisia but isn't it where they filmed the desert scenes from Star Wars?

It sounds like a very useful savings account that you have. You've reminded me I need to look at the rate I'm getting on my savings as it's possibly no longer the optimum and we might as well benefit as much as possible.

I hope your weekend goes well and is super-productive for minimum stress. Keep hydrated and take breaks, you've got this.

AntoMac

Good news on the freelance work Keedie. 

Have yourselves a fantastic holiday 

beanielou

Happy happy holidays. 

Keedie

Well... this has been an interesting week... Went on holiday, had a financial epiphany and have got a new job!

Holiday - I actually managed to pack clean clothes as me and my son only washed the clothes we intended to wear, and I unfortunately had to waste money and energy by putting the heating on for a few hours to dry everything. Yep, won't be doing that again as I was sweating and very annoyed with myself because it's summer 🥵. But we shared a suitcase and we had some compression packing cubes I got on Amazon at the last minute. We literally packed the day we were leaving. But separating the clothes was good, as we had different coloured bags and it was easy to unpack.  The holiday itself was incredibly overwhelming! The hotel was absolutely crawling with people as it's August (won't be travelling at this time of year again that's for sure). The hotel also didn't have a lift, which we didn't realise until we got there and so I was walking up and down 40 steps to get in and out of the room. Yeah that resulted in the inevitable flare up. And the lack of wifi meant I couldn't have downtime and just relax and watch a video or something and have some me-time. And because I started getting overwhelmed, I didn't take part in any of the water sports, as I didn't want to become hypomanic as I was already feeling borderline. I wanted to go parasailing as it looked fun, but decided against it. I couldn't afford for my mood to elevate from excitement. My younger nephew, niece and ex sister-in-law all did the parasailing and so I had to live vicariously through them. I just watched my son and nephew jet ski. That looked way too bumpy and involved for my liking 🥴.  Most of my family also did massages, but I wasn't in the physical mood or mental frame of mind to have someone touch me or try and press on my sore muscles, so I didn't end up doing much of anything really. But it was nice to be away. But I won't be going on another family holiday. There were 10 of us, and I just don't like the chaos of travelling in a large group. I love my family dearly, but until we all save up and go to Jamaica in a few years time to plant a memorial tree in my dad's honour, I won't be on holiday with them all again. It's too hard to do things that please everyone and I hate sharing a room. So I just won't bother from now on. I'll do my own thing and may travel with one or two of them at a time if I do a family thing.

Financial Epiphany - I had some time to think whilst on holiday and really consider what type of life I want to live. And I realised that my lack of financial direction was a direct correlation to my lack of personal fulfilment and self worth. I've been kind of blowing in the wind for a while now. I had a lot of motivation to get debt free. And since I then unexpectedly achieved that earlier than anticipated due to the financial gift from a family member in February 2025, I've lost my financial mojo. And I realised that I am trying to do too many things and I'm not really thinking of my own quality of life in pursuit of savings etc. And I've been consistently putting my son's needs above my own - for years. And whilst to a certain extent that is what parenting is about, it's not allowing me to have anything much for myself. So I need to do a budget that focuses on me and my needs, instead of always focussing on bills and savings. I'm not 100% sure what that looks like yet, but I am working on it. And it feels rather liberating... 🤗.

New Job - Whilst I was on holiday, my friend that I used to work with at my local council (I left in 2016), offered me a temp agency contract until end of December 2025. It'll be 3 days a week and I can choose the days that I work as long as there are no team meetings occurring that I may miss. I wasn't looking for a job, but he wants me to come and work with him to review processes ahead of a mini restructure and to help with the data integrity of the council's structure reflected on their ICT systems. It's too good to turn down, but I wasn't looking for work. But it will help me to sort out my finances moving forward. And I'll have to work out the numbers, but I think it will help with having some money that is just for me. Obviously I will get less Universal Credits, so I need to figure out what the overall amount will be so that I can rework my budget for the coming months. I look forward to working with my friend again and the work is interesting, even if the timing isn't great. But it does mean that I will have to juggle wrapping up the freelance work which is a bit difficult at times to keep on top of. I was rather flattered that he created this role for me, and I didn't have to apply or interview for a role (my mental health wouldn't be able to manage any of that process at this point in time). My son gave me a big high five and told me that he's proud of me, but I need to make sure I don't eat too many meal deals for lunch as there's a supermarket near the office. I told him that I'll be making lunch to save money, as I want to travel next year to the Phillipines and decided that business class is the best way to go, and so I'll have to save extra hard. But with this new job and my financial epiphany, I might be able to get back to taking care of me for once.

AntoMac

Definitely a mixed/interesting and eye opening time away Keedie. Proving that every day is definitely a learning day.
You’ve very much realised what sort of break you DON’T want in future. That’s perfectly ok as it’s a reminder that we’re all different and we all have different wants and needs.
A virtual high five from me too. How wonderful that someone had a job specifically suited to you, and reached out to you. That must have given you a huge confidence boost. A real boost to your finances as well. Also, being able to choose your 3 days is awesome. Hopefully the journey to work isn’t too far or tiring, but something like a Monday, Wednesday and Friday pattern could make it more manageable perhaps. 

Overall it sounds  like a positive  few days for you, even if part of it was learning a somewhat expensive lesson about what kind of leisure time you don’t want.

Makingabobor2

I know what you mean about family holidays. Wen went away with DH's sister and her hubby several years ago....never again.  We like to get up early and make the most of the day, they wanted to lay in. Wen wanted to eat in a pub one night, she wanted to go to a massive Tesco and do a massive shop and cook.  He wanted window open in the car, resulting in my getting a stiff neck. It just went on and on....never again. 
Hope the job works out ok for you. x

Keedie

It's definitely been a confidence boost @AntoMac, especially after the way that I was treated at my last job. It's also a bit nerve wracking, as I'm not 100% sure I can live up to the expectations. But I will work hard as usual without burning myself out. 

I'd not thought of Monday, Wednesday and Friday as a working pattern, but that could work. I think the team meetings are Mondays and Wednesdays. I was initially thinking, Monday to Wednesday, but having a break every other day won't be so bad. There isn't much of a commute which is helpful, as it's a 5 minute bus ride away. I could even walk there (albeit incredibly slowly with plenty of stops). It's all daunting but exciting, and it will make a big difference to my budget. I'm a bit giddy about the prospect of actually considering myself for once, and having the means to do so.

As for the family holidays @Makingabobor2, yours sounded like a nightmare clash of preferences. It's so hard when interests don't align when you're on holiday, as having a good time is mutually important to everyone, but when there's such differences in opinions or expectations in terms of what constitutes a good time, someone is always going to be left disgruntled. So I am quite happy to do my own thing. I intend to put all extra money whilst I have this contract, towards saving for the Phillipines as I'd like to go around March 2026 before it gets super hot. 

I'm also trying to figure out what my savings priorities are, so that I don't overwhelm myself. Once I've got something sorted, I'll run it by you all for some advice.

Cherryfudge

Congratulations on the job! Very useful not only for extra cash and confidence, but it will be a forum to explore what works for you.

I find holidays exhausting, too. Good to spend time with family, but I suppose it's a bit like having too much rich food: enjoyable in small amounts but too much and you suffer.

There are a few of things to make note of for your next holiday: access, internet and own-space. When we are on holiday, we have an arrangement that DH goes out in the mornings as he's always on the go. He can explore while I wake up slowly and have time on my own. In the afternoon we do something together, often inspired by something he's found in the morning. Evenings depend on what sort of accommodation we have as I need my space to slow down at night, which is okay if we are self catering, but difficult if we are sharing a hotel room, so we try to limit how often we do that. I doubt your pattern will be the same as mine, but it really helped to look at what I was doing as a default at home and try to replicate that while away. DH is super-active (I suspect we have opposite manifestations of ADHD) and needs to be moving but I pace myself entirely differently. Little things like sitting down for a drink in the afternoon or having a leisurely day mid-week are very useful, too.

daisy_1571

Definitely go for mon wed fri.  Its a great pattern, you only have to do a day and you know you are off tomorrow, nothing too bad builds up in the single day you are off, if somebody needs you on a Thursday they aren't saying 'she'll be back Monday' which sounds ages away its 'shes back tomorrow', if you take a single day off for a holiday its a good long break you get