The Mental Debt Struggle...

Keedie

I don't have Perks at Work anymore @AntoMac. It was linked to my old employer and although I set up the account as an ex-employee, I don't think I did it right as I can't get into the account 🤦🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️. 

I think I've been rather delusional about Japan and the Philippines @Makingabobor2. I got a serious financial reality check when I looked at flights the other night 😬😬😬. I won't be doing both. Japan will remain as a fantasy for another time. I just need to work out the Philippines and getting there instead for 2 weeks. I think in all honesty, it's asking a lot for myself to try and do both anyways. I'll go to see my brother and then do Japan another year. 

I didn't bother going to my mental health course today @Cherryfudge. I was so weak last night after working. It's quite the shock to my system to be honest. I can now see the benefit of having a day off in between working. I am working from home tomorrow, so that makes it easier. I think working Monday, Wednesday and Thursday may be the way to go. Being able to do nothing today after being in the office was great. I'm back in the office on Thursday. But if I can work in the office on a Monday, be home idle on a Tuesday and work from home Wednesday and Thursday from next week then that will work for me.I like to keep Fridays free as I sometimes meet up with my friends or just chill before the weekend. I'll speak to my manager/friend and see if that works for him. Working 3 days in a row is incredibly draining.

Anyways, a couple lifestyle changes with a financial impact and then a savings update:

Car - my sister said that my love/hate affair with having a car is similar to Jamaicans and their love to hate relationship with eating pork. It tastes good, but they don't want to want it. I hate driving but I love the convenience. I felt so incredibly weak the other day that I couldn't walk to the bus stop and that was a slap in the face of reality that my fantasy about having no vehicle - as it kinda doesn't really make sense. I can get around without one, but it's incredibly draining. As my sister pointed out, there's a reason that motability cars exist to help disabled people get more mobile. I need to change from a manual to an automatic though as currently driving is very painful. So that needs to be a savings goal. A cheap little run around. But automatic cars don't seem to be very cheap to purchase and so I'll plod along using the car as little as is needed until I'm in a position to replace it. My son will start saving for his driving lessons and so we'll need an insurance group 1-3 car to make it cheaper. I'm giving myself until January 2026, using it as little as possible to see if I can really survive without a car, but having the security of knowing it's there. My lack of mobility in the winter months is directly linked to how cold and damp it is. As that seizes up my joints and leads to back to back flare ups. I need to redo the budget as I'd cut driving and running a car out of my expenses, as I assumed I'd sell the car when my insurance policy ends at the end of this month. I'm on a medically restricted licence due to the bipolar, so that ends in January 2027 I think. So considering I don't know if it will get renewed, I won't be splashing out on anything fancy car wise and he'll be a first time driver and I might not be legally allowed to drive.

College - as my son has left college, the child benefit has stopped and the child element of the universal credit will cease as well. I also need to do a change of circumstances for the council tax as I believe the 25% single person's discount ceases now too. My sister said that the boys (her son is 4 months older than mine and has also just finished college) can now claim universal credit as individual's and so I need to look into that. He's got a retake of his PAT test qualification exam next week Tuesday and so hopefully after that he can start to get some work. I've given him his last accumulation of universal credit and child benefit that was paid in August 2025, so hopefully he passes his exam next week and starts to get some contracting work. And we can get his universal credit claim sorted as I can't keep him afloat and he needs to be earning and saving for his moped insurance renewal in May 2026 and his driving lessons. 

Bookkeeping course - my mum is still available to loan me the money for this course, and I will see if there is a good Black Friday deal in terms of discounts and I can start it before the new year, or I'll wait until the January sales and start in 2026. It'll cost just over £3,100. I really want to start this course and change career, and I will try to borrow no more than £2,500 and pay it off in 10 £250 lump sum payments. It's not ideal dipping back into debt, but it's cheaper than getting an advanced learner loan as they charge interest. 

Travelling - I've contemplated foregoing the visit to see my brother, but nothing in life is a given and I want to be able to spend time with him and meet his wife. I really miss him as I'm so used to him being around the corner and with the vast time difference I rarely speak to him on the phone as by the time I'm starting my day properly, he's going to bed. So I have to find the cheapest way to do this. I looked at business class flights and they just seem extortionate and so that is out of the window. So it'll be a shorter flight and a layover. I can travel up to 8-9 hours at a push at a time as that's what it takes to get to the Caribbean, America or to see my friend in Kenya and I've done long haul since I got sick in 2014. Didn't particularly like it, but it was a means to an end.

Keedie

Onto savings goals... I realised that I have lots of savings goals, some big and some smaller or ongoing. I've had a long hard look at my budget. So I will focus on one big thing at a time and keep topping up the smaller ongoing sinking funds.

The Main Attraction (whichever big savings goal I am snowballing savings for)

• Globetrotter 2026 = £3,000 - to get to the Philippines and to contribute to my son's lad's holiday with his cousins in May 2026. £2,500 is for my trip, but I've no intention of spending that much and £500 is for my son's trip and I've no intention of spending that much either. 
• Car = £4,500 - I will be selling my car once I find a replacement. But I need the money to initially buy the car etc and then put the money from the car sale back into savings for the next big thing. My budget is actually £2,500 for the vehicle, but the rest is towards insurance as my son will drive the price up. I'm still on the fence about the car, but I acknowledge that something is definitely needed.
• Career Change = £3,250 - this is to cover the amount that I will be initially fronting and the debt to my mum to fund the bookkeeping course. 
• Financial Freedom = £2,250 - this is my one month ahead fund, and is based on my monthly budget. I currently live off the previous month's income and so this will be a slow burn.

Standing on Business (the ongoing essential sinking funds that I continuously pay into until the target is reached)

• KeeMari = £750 - this is for anything me and my son need like prescriptions, opticians, family fun time, home decor or appliance replacements etc. There shouldn't be more than one major thing happening at once hopefully.
• The Gift = £500 - this pays for Christmas, birthdays, Eid, special occasions and treats for other people or ad hoc charity donations. Events are spread across a year, so this cap is more than generous, and is only this high as Eid is a month earlier each year and so eventually it will coincide with Christmas.
• Cruise Control = £750 - this is for car maintenance, MOT & service, car tax etc. Eventually, the target will be bigger to include car insurance annual payments.
• Bills Parachute = £1,500 - this is to pay for annual subscriptions, the TV licence, add credit to the Octopus account, water rates and council tax to reduce ongoing bills. I've got £654 credit in Octopus by overpaying a lump sum and my water rates is £26.33 a month and I don't need to pay council tax until October 2025 due to lump sum overpayments.
• Globetrotter = £750 - this is spending money, travel insurance, getting to and from the airport etc. Once next year's travel is out of the way, I don't aim to book anything again I reach this goal, as it means I can get one or two all inclusive package holidays for that money depending on when and where I travel.

Side Quests (nice to have funds that have an ad hoc purpose - funded by any left over money from each week's cash budget)

• Bufferoo = £250 - this is my homemade overdraft, and as I'll be predominantly budgeting in cash, if I need to spend digital money it will come from here and then be put back. 
• Carpe Diem = £250 - this is my personal bipolar buffer for when I have an episode and my handle on my finances goes off the rails. Like a mental emergency fund.
• The Big Shop = £150 - the bulk shopping for things like cleaning products, toilet paper, staples like rice, pasta and other items I can buy in bulk to save money and stock the cupboards I do a savings challenge from my food shop for this, and so £5 or £10 goes in here each week.
• Munch Munch = £150 - my family likes to eat out (a lot) for family celebrations and sometimes big things like Christmas dinner. So I will start to alternate between this and The Big Shop when I do my weekly savings challenge with the food shop money.
• The AWE List = £300 - this is for Adaptations, Wellbeing and Equipment - all of which help me to manage my chronic health conditions. Adaptations might be things like a new walking stick, wellbeing could be a massage or some me-time activity and equipment might be something larger like a new perching stool.

I was repaid £500 by a friend for some money that I lent them earlier in the year, so I need to sit down and work out how to split that money across my various savings goals. Then on Sunday, I can do a Sunday Summary and confirm where I am with everything. I'm going to build a savings tracker like the one I had with my debt busting, as I think tracking everything and doing check-ins will keep me motivated and on track. 

Makingabobor2

Well you certainly put lot of thought into all your new goals. Hope it all works out for you. 

AntoMac

Good news getting the £500 repaid Keedie. Maybe you could put it all to one of your saving funds  rather than spreading it around. Maybe aim to get one fully funded as the money might seem a bit of a bonus? Just an idea and not my business anyway, but it might improve clarity of thought, if for example you have the money towards your son’s trip fully set aside.
Impressed, as always, by your organisation and ability to get back on track.

Debsnewbudget

Are you able to get an automatic car via the motability scheme? 

Not done any research myself and not even sure if it still exists but thought I would throw it in the mix !

Keedie

Thanks @Makingabobor2. Fingers crossed it does all go well. I think having only a few things to think about at any given time will help with the focus and likelihood of achieving the goal. As for the £500, I might put half into one of the main attraction goals @AntoMac, so that I know it's at least started. Most of my goals, especially the ongoing ones have virtually nothing in them, so they definitely need to get off the starting block. And thanks for your kind words about getting back on track, that means a lot to me.

The motability scheme is definitely still a thing @Debsnewbudget. But at the moment I unfortunately don't qualify for it as I have standard mobility for my PIP and not enhanced. I might get enhanced when my PIP renewal is sorted as my health has deteriorated since then. But with the change in eligibility criteria for points in each section, I don't know if I would even qualify for PIP at all under the new rules 🤷🏾‍♀️. I'd like to think that I do, but you never know... But half my PIP goes on my carer, so I don't know if I did qualify if there would be enough to cover the motability as I think for my ex sister in law, from what I can recall, they take like £75 a week to cover the car, insurance, service, breakdown etc from the PIP. So she doesn't get the mobility elements as it goes straight to motability. Or something like that. I use my PIP to pay for the carer and to supplement my income.

I did my blue badge renewal, but I realised that they can take around 12 weeks or longer, and my blue badge ends in 6 weeks. So hopefully I won't be too long without it. Or I get very lucky and they approve it really quickly.

Anyways, my son has a surgery date finally, and neither of us are really happy about the date. It's on 6 October 2025, his birthday is 7 October and mine is 8 October. So yeah, that will be fun times for our birthdays. But the main thing is that he has his screws taken out as they've been causing friction a lot of discomfort and pain.

I inadvertently paid into my Financial Freedom (one month ahead) savings pot today as I forgot to cancel the standing order 🫣. So £150 went into there. I was kinda annoyed as I had to move my whole budget around. But I know that if I took the money out of the Natwest digital saver, I would see it accessible money and in no time it would be all gone. I guess at least it's helped towards the goal, even if that wasn't my intention anytime soon. I've cancelled the standing order properly now, and I just need to figure out what can actually go in there as £150 is way too much money each month. 

Makingabobor2

Ooh your son's birthday is the same day as my son's..  lol. 

Keedie

Oh we have matching birthday sons @Makingabobor2 🤗. One of my son's cousin's is 2 October, I have a friend on 3 October, a nephew's birthday is 5 October, another two friends on 6 October, my son 7 October and me and my friend's niece on 8 October. Lots of birthdays in the early October gang 🤣.

The surveryor and contractor came this morning to sort out the wet room design. I made a bit of a boo boo with the colour choice of tiles, flooring, wall paint. I don't know why I wasn't mentally prepared but there was so much choice and it kind of threw me. I felt really guilty, but I changed my mind and so I called the contractor's office and the lady was really helpful. She's going to send the guy back out on Tuesday morning. I feel really bad but there's no point living with a choice that I'll ultimately end up hating. My son was half asleep during the appointment and was of no use at all, and when he got up and I told him what I picked he was horrified 😬. And in hindsight, I don't really know what I was thinking... bright blue tiles, white border and dark grey lino. The bathroom is too tiny for so much colour. It would always be dark. Such a beautiful shade of blue though. It was like a royal sky blue. But on 3/4 of the walls, floor to ceiling tiles, it's a bit too much. So I'm going to see if they can do white tiles, with that brilliant blue as a mid section border. So basically swapping it around. We have an incredibly ugly light blue lino that has that grit surface that you get in hospitals, so me and my son are both a bit triggered by blue flooring. But I think a navy blue or the mid-dark grey will work. But when the guy comes back on Tuesday morning, I'll be able to go through it all with him again. 

Anyways, the good thing is that they're replacing the toilet and giving me a raised toilet seat and a grab rail. Yay for me. They're ripping everything out of the bathroom and they're putting a walk in wet room with a seat on the wall and putting in a new sink and changing the location of where the current sink sits, so that the shower area can be accommodated. I'm so excited. They'll be starting the work the second week of October, so a week after my son's surgery. We won't have a bathroom for 10 days so I might ask one of my neighbours if we can use their shower. Did I say that I'm so so so excited?! 💃🏽💃🏽💃🏽 It's been a long 3 years waiting for this. And it will make such a difference to my day to day life. 

I've got my bipolar group this evening, so I'll be resting before that so that I can go with them to the pub afterwards. I'm on crutches today so I need to leave myself with enough time to get the buses. When my mobility, balance and energy is shot, I avoid taking the tube anywhere as it's so crowded, no one has patience and I get all panicky as I can't get out of the way quick enough. And a few times, I've been knocked about by accident as people are rushing. The group starts at 5.30, so travelling in rush hour on a busy tube is pointless when I can take my time on the bus.

Keedie

Moving on to financial matters. I got my first agency pay yesterday and that was quite nice. I need to speak to them though, as they taxed me, but I've not used any of my personal allowance since the tax year started on 6 April 2025, and so this is my first job, as I've been unemployed since 9 January 2025. Although I've freelanced here and there, the tax liability for that is dealt with when I do my self assessment. So I need to figure out what is happening. But I need to call HMRC first, as they changed my tax code (to the same thing), and noted that it's because I changed jobs. But considering that there was 7 months in between employments, I don't really understand how it counts as a job change. So I'll speak to HMRC and then see what they say and then contact the agency. 

But I'll budget as if the tax deduction is correct (as it might well be). And I had a look at all my savings goals and I have a bit of a plan. The agency income is more hours than freelancing and more consistent, so it gives me a temporary pay rise as such. And so for the next few months, it allows me to turbo charge my savings. And to do that, I've temporarily increased my monthly budget from £2,250 to £2,500, so that I can have a bit more spending money and the rest goes into savings. I'm also due one last freelancing invoice, and half of that will go into savings. 

I've done my budget base upon a 5 week month based upon how many Mondays are in the month. So when it is the usual 4 week month, I can use the extra money for savings challenges. I've built in a contingency, and split the budgeted amount in two parts; essentials bills, food and mandatory savings (£2,000) and then the additional amount is extra spending and savings (£500). So that becomes £2,000 a month if there is no surplus funds £2,500 a month when things are going extremely well. With the agency contract and the last invoice, I'll be in the extremely well category for a few months (up to December 2025's budget). From January, I will drop down to essentials budget. 

Anyways, this is how it will work:

£1,750 (digital expenses)

• £1,250 = The Burden (bills)
• £200 = Golden CareCuffs (my carer)
• £100 = Super Saver (£50 Help to Save & £50 Financial Freedom - one month ahead)
• £100 = Digi Foodies (online food shops etc)
• £50 = Trek Travel (petrol, parking, train fares etc)
• £50 = Digi Keedie (my digital spending money)

£750 (cash expenses)
Based on a 5 week month, this is £150 a week split as follows:

• £50 = Foodies (weekly grocery shop)
• £20 = Keedie Spendy (my cash spending money)
• £10 = The Main Attraction (whichever fund I am snowballing as a priority)
• £25 = Standing on Business (based on £5 a week for the 5 main sinking funds, that will be flexibly applied based on the each fund's balance or upcoming expenditure)
• £5 = Side Quests (to be flexibly allocated to one of the 5 nice to have sinking funds)
• £40 = Dice Decider (my savings challenges money)

Every penny of income goes into Monzo and is then accumulated throughout the month and goes into the relevant pot or another bank account for the next month's expenses at the end of the month. I put all the accumulated money into a pot earning 3% interest. I have opened another two 3% savings pots. When I have accumulated the income for the following month's budget, any surplus money will be split across the two other pots in an 20/80 split, with the higher amount going to the bigger goal.

One pot has a target of £250, and when I achieve that, I can use that money to top up my savings. The goal on the other one, is the monthly budget of £2,500. So that I can steadily squirrel away some money to keep the budget going at this higher amount for a longer period. The intention is that when my contract ends and my income drops, I will revert to the £2,000 budget, but if I can withdraw up to £500 a month from that surplus fund I can remain on that budget for longer whilst I seek alternative employment. 

I've got a few savings challenges that I've already started and on the weekend I'm introducing my son and my nephews to cash stuffing. So they will help me to decide where the £500 goes. It's actually now £550 which I'm looking forward to distributing. My mum owed me £45 for the airport parking from the family holiday to Tunisia last month, and I'd completely forgotten so she gave that in cash in an envelope yesterday evening, and I had some change in my purse, which I swapped for a £5 note, so I have £550 total to allocate into savings. Once I've sorted that all out, I'll be able to do a proper Sunday Summary on the weekend.

beanielou

The white tiles with royabll blue sounds great.  Could you have one wall with the blue tiles?