The Mental Debt Struggle...

Sallyforth

Another vote for your blog please x

Keedie

Thank you for the support everyone. I've purchased a domain name for the blog and next week, when things settle down family wise, I am going to go and treat myself to a peppermint tea in Costa and sketch out an outline for the blog. 

You know @Humdinger1, I'd never considered my diary as a blog, but I guess you're right. That makes me less nervous to publish one, so thank you for that 🤗. 

I kinda hurt my own feelings with my gas bill for January 2025 😬. It was £117.45 and my eyes watered when I saw how much my bill was for one month. I knew that I had the heating on a fair bit, but it was still shocking to see. So I've adjusted the thermostat temperature and reduced the time that it is on for. It's not as cold as it was earlier in the month and today was the first day that I won't have it on for an hour or so during the day. So hopefully this month's bill will under £100. Otherwise I won't have enough credit to see me through the winter months like I usually do. I definitely need to be heating the human and not the flat as much as possible. It's going okay so far, but if I can't get warm, then I'll just put the heating on. Having a flare up due to stiff joints is more costly on a personal level than a high heating bill.

I've managed to move some money around and I've paid £125 to clear the Argos Card. So it's all gone, yippee! 🥳 So I now have £8,000 left which is £2,950 for MBNA and £5,050 for Barclaycard. It's always nice to see a round number isn't it?

I've got my bipolar group tomorrow, and it's really needed at the moment. Things are a bit all over the place mood wise. I've had a lot of sleepless nights and my anxiety is at an all time high and I feel mentally depleted. There has been a lot of life changes recently and I'm trying to get a handle on it all. It's kind of scary stuff, but things are slowly falling in place. It's exciting about the new chapter, but that excitement has the potential to tip me into hypomania and that's making me anxious. But I'm trying to level out as best as I can.

I got an email from my Head of Service the other day, as she was on bereavement leave when I left and so I didn't see her. She said goodbye and said some really nice things to me which gave me some closure on the whole matter. I've drafted an email response to her, and as I didn't get a chance to speak to her, I have admitted that the issues with my manager/ex-friend was the main driving force for leaving. As she needs to do something about it. Another colleague from a different sub-team has also recently resigned with no alternative job to go to. So clearly the issues are there and needs to be dealt with. Around 3-4 of my old colleagues are very actively job hunting as well. It's a lot of change and uncertainty for everyone...

beanielou

Great news on Argos. 

Cherryfudge

Well done on the Argos payment! Lovely to be able to draw a line under it.  

I think a lot of people will have steep heating bills over January, but as you say, if turning the heating off or too far down makes you suffer, in the balance of things it's better to have a higher bill. I find it helps to move around from time to time, and I also have a heated pad for the chair I usually sit in, which is lovely and snug, and saves heating the house if it's just me at home.

You are coping with a lot of changes and it will take a while to get used to them, so I can understand you suffering from anxiety but it's horrible and I hope your group helps you cope. 

And it's exciting to hear about you laying the foundations for your blog! I'm sure you will get a lot of readers, and you'll have a flying start with your readership from here!

Sallyforth

I’ve got to come clean and admit I’m not really sure what a “blog” is. I sort of thought it’s what I read here but obviously it’s more sophisticated than that. Do tell because I’d love to read yours and probably others but not sure where to look.

AntoMac

In simple terms I would say a blog is pretty much an online diary, and more or less what Keedie is doing now @Sallyforth
I’ll leave it to Keedie to explain better than I can though.
Iv’e not commented on your diary for a long while Keedie, but still very much take an interest. You are doing really well with so much going on. I’m definitely a subscriber should you start a new blog. 

Keedie

I ended up crashing the last few days. Had a bit of an emotional meltdown as I felt so tired, wired and overwhelmed. But I've picked myself back up now and things are back on track. Going to my bipolar group on Friday evening really helped. I was so depleted but it was so nice to see my friends and it was good group turnout. And it's been so lonh since I've had a good belly laugh, and I was able to get that when we went to the pub afterwards. I'm meeting up with two of my friends from my group next Wednesday in Costa. So I'm looking forward to that 🤗.

As for the blog @Sallyforth, both @AntoMac and @Humdinger1 are correct in that blogs are like online diaries or accounts/musings based on whatever specific topic the author is writing about. But sometimes you can also have a range of blogs (articles) that focus on specific topics within an overall theme, and they can be used to inform the reader of something. So for example, you could have a blog that focuses on home organisation and simple living and each blog entry could be cataloguing elements of that lifestyle, or giving tips on how to achieve it. Like having one entry about shoe storage solutions, another one about managing the build up paperwork and so forth.

So in my case, my blog will be about managing my money and mental health, and it will focus on specific topics that I sometimes struggle with, like budgeting, impulsive spending, navigating debt, reducing expenses etc. I will probably post the blogs on a weekly basis, but plan them out and write a few upfront, so that I am a couple of weeks ahead before I launch it. That way they can be released on a schedule and if I am unwell, there is still consistency. I'm still kinda figuring it out.

Over the years I've developed a budgeting system that keeps me afloat when I am not mentally well, and keeps me on track when I'm in a stable mood. I just need to figure out how to articulate it, but I will post on the blog about those things as well. People may not be generally interested in how I budget, but there may be some who find it useful. My blog will be a bit more structured, whereas on here, I just ramble on and go with the flow 🤷🏾‍♀️.

I forgot to do a Sunday Summary yesterday. I had a lovely family lunch yesterday, with my mum and siblings. It was actually very nice to have a family meal without the kids and we realised that we've never had one, since the kids came along 20 years ago. So it was good to just eat good Turkish food and hang out with each other. 

I've had something really great happen to me in the last few days, and I'm still digesting it, and then I'll be able to share. It's part of what left me so overwhelmed last week, and I've not been able to sleep properly. It's life changing, but I feel a bit lost as a result and so I am just trying to recalibrate.

Cherryfudge

This sounds really exciting but you are quite right to get your head round it before sharing! And the family meal sounds such a good idea.

Keedie

THE (BELATED) SUNDAY SUMMARY

(Week 6 ~ 9 February 2025)

Debt Regrets

Goal 1 - 100% repayment to Argos Card - due 30 April 2025
🎉 Achievement Date = 7 February 2025 🎉
I moved some things around this last week and paid off the final £125 for the Argos Card so it's all cleared now. Yippee!!! 💃🏽💃🏽💃🏽

Goal 2 - Clear Barclaycard Plan 1 (£1,506.20) - due by 31 October 2025

Progress Checker = £175/£1,506.20 (11.62% repaid)
There has been no payment this week, so no report progress, but I'm looking forward to this being all gone I can tell ya. But for now, it's 11.62% repaid, so that'll have to do 😂.

Goal 3 - Pay £750 off my MBNA balance in 2025 - due by 31 December 2025
Progress checker = £50/£750 (6.67% repaid)
The fixed direct debit for MBNA is not due until around 20 February 2025, so there's no progress with this goal just as yet. Considering that it started in December 2024, 6.67% isn't bad going 🤗.

Goal 4 - Pay £2,500 off my overall debt balance in 2025 - due by 31 December 2025
Progress checker = £400/£2,500 (16% repaid)
With the £125 paid to Argos Card, I'm approaching 20% of my debt repayment goal for the year. I was quite chuffed to realise that. It gives me hope for being able to manage things financially moving forward. 

Saving Grace

Goal 1 - Build a Buffer of £250 - due by 30 April 2025
Progress Checker = £0/£250 (0% saved)
The plan with this has changed a bit. I won't be using the Help to Save money to start this, as I've had to allocate that money elsewhere. It's all part of the life changes plan that I am trying to work on. So I have pushed this due date back to 30 April 2025 whilst I crunch the numbers and see if this will still be a goal that I can commit to. Although I would really like to make it happen, as it would help me to stay on track, but act as a safety net if needed.

Goal 2 - Save £1,000 emergency fund - due by 31 December 2025
Progress Checker = £150/£1,000 (15% saved)
The £600 Help to Save money came through (as I claimed it early on Friday instead of today via Monzo's get paid early feature). I've put £150 into the emergency fund, and set aside the remaining £450 to see if what I am considering regarding the life changes will actually work. But I'm glad that the first payment for the Natwest Digital Saver has gone through, as I paid it into the savings account manually. At the moment the direct debit is set for 1 March, but I will know by the end of the week if that is feasible and if so for what amount per month. The maximum I can pay is £150, but it is unlikely that I will be able to sustain this. But fingers crossed I can.

Goal 3 - Save £750 for 2026 Subscriptions - due by 31 December 2025
Progress Checker = £0/£750 (0% saved)
I've not done anything with this as yet, and I am pushing back the start date to May 2025. I need to see what my normal fixed bills like rent, water rates and council tax are, to see if I will be able to start saving for these for next year, and which ones I will keep.
This goal is split into fixed subscriptions (set due dates) and aspiration funded subscriptions (a year's worth upfront). The overall amount is £730 but I have rounded up in case any of the subscriptions increase.

• 3.1 Fixed ~ EA Access = £0/£40 (0% saved)
• 3.2 Fixed ~ Amazon Prime = £0/£95 (0% saved)
• 3.3 Fixed ~ Apple Care = £0/£85 (0% saved)
• 3.4 Fixed ~ Playstation Plus = £0/£60 (0% saved)
• 3.5 Aspirational ~ Kindle Unlimited = £0/£120 (0% saved)
• 3.6 Aspirational ~ Crunchy Roll = £0/£60 (0% saved)
• 3.7 Aspirational ~ MGM+ = £0/£55 (0% saved)
• 3.8 Aspirational ~ Apple One = £0/£225 (0% saved)

Goal 4 - 50 Envelope Challenge (£1,275) - due by 31 December 2025
Progress Checker = 0/50 Envelopes = £0/£1,275 (20% saved)
I have not officially started this, but I have been designing my 50 envelope challenge folder and there is some money than can go in here once I figure a few things out. I'll be saving up £50 at a time via smaller savings challenges, so I'm working on those. By saving in £50 increments, I will be able to cross off two envelopes at a time, like 1 and 49, 10 and 40 etc.

Goal 5 - Penny Challenge (£667.95) - due by 7 January 2026
Progress Checker = £5.61/£667.95 (up by £2.10 since last week)
This being done automatically via Monzo's Penny Challenge and they move each consecutive daily amount from my current account balance. It's slowly but surely starting to creep up as yesterday's payment was £0.33. I've had to use some of the money that I had set aside, so now there's £30.12 which my spreadsheet tells me will take me up to 26 March 2025. So there's a little bit of time to get on top of this and build it back up to where it was. I have some cashback from Chase pending, so I will put that money in the Monzo current account to go towards the penny challenge when it clears.

Balancing the Budget

This section of my weekly check-in will focus on how I am preparing for the upcoming month, so that I can stay on track and be more successful in meeting my targets.

Income Tracker - £2,200 for March 2025's Budget
🎉 Achievement Date = 8 February 2025 🎉
Income Tracker - £2,200 for April 2025's Budget
Progress Checker = £225/£2,200 (10.23% accumulated)
My sister has repaid the amount of money she owes me in full, and so I was able to fully fund March 2025's budget so early in the month and the freelance payment of £666.50 is still pending. This gives me a lot of breathing room. And allowed me to increase my budget from £2,000 to £2,200 in March. So I am now saving towards April 2025's budget of £2,200 (although the amount needed in April 2025 may be subject to change).

Freely Debt Savings - £0 Goal for March 2025
Progress Checker = £0/£0 (0% saved)
There isn't going to be any surplus money for the coming months that can be freely used. Anything above my fixed budget, due to receiving money from siblings and earning freelance income, will all be rolled into the following monthly budget until I am sure that I have got my sums right in terms of projected income and expenses. I think once I am at the stage whereby I have 50% of the next month's budget accumulated before the month starts, is when I can feel confident enough to start Freely Debt Savings. I won't always be at the stage where I can have 10% of the budget for two month's time. But if I use my freelance income wisely, I can steadily increase this percentage. 

Keedie

It was such a lovely day @cherryfudge and we've decided to do it more often. I even put some make up on and made an effort to dress nice. It was quite healing actually. I missed my dad, as it would have been nice to do that when he was alive, but the kids were much younger then so it wasn't really possible.