The Mental Debt Struggle...

astrocytic_kitten

Just seconding everything KK says - there is nothing unprofessional about your email, and this whole situation screams potential disability discrimination and the possibility of a settlement. I know it’s horrible and stressful and you want to be free of it, and you definitely shouldn’t go back, but please get signed off first and then take some time to decide what to do

beanielou

I so agree with K K.  You are well out of that malarkey. 

Makingabobor2

Agree with everything that's been said. Phone in sick, so you are at least getting paid for a bit longer. 

~FlowerPot~

I'm not going to add anything further the others have said it. 
Just wanted to give you a ((( big hug ))) 🩷
A whole load of stress you really didn't need. 

Wanna_Bee_Free

i just wanted to say your email was reasonable in tone and fine. Please contact the union and your gp. Take care xxx

AntoMac

Another one who can see absolutely nothing wrong with your email.

Definitely get yourself signed off. Really sorry to hear how horrible things have been for you. 

KajiKita

astrocytic_kitten said:

Just seconding everything KK says - there is nothing unprofessional about your email, and this whole situation screams potential disability discrimination and the possibility of a settlement. I know it’s horrible and stressful and you want to be free of it, and you definitely shouldn’t go back, but please get signed off first and then take some time to decide what to do

Exactly the words I was reaching for but couldn’t quite get to. 

I hope you managed to sleep at least a bit last night @Keedie ?

Sending more hugs for this chilly morning! x

KK

beanielou

Hope you can get a GP’s appointment ok.  

Be kind to yourself. X

Keedie

Thank you all for your advice and support, it really has helped me to gain perspective. I felt like I had done something terribly wrong, although in my heart I knew that was not the case. I couldn't see anything wrong with my email when I wrote it, or when I had my manager bring it up on the screen during the meeting with the Head of Service, but was made to feel like I was so rude and disrespectful and antagonistic that I started to second guess myself. That's why I asked for second opinions on the context and tone of my email, as I wanted feedback so that I know how to do things when I eventually get another job. 

I've contacted my GP via their online eConsult system this morning and requested to be signed off for work related stress for two weeks. I think my managers behaviour towards me was due to a combination of factors: they don't like me, they're both under pressure in their new roles and there is a lot of changes happening and they are struggling to cope as they have both had a reality check, they'd planned how they were going to look like accommodating martyrs by saying that I did not need to come into the office, and by requesting in writing some time to implement the changes, I made them look bad. It is a them problem, not a me problem. 

Yesterday I emailed my manager two short sentences to tell her that I am mentally unwell following the distressing events the day before and I am unable to work. She responded saying that she is sorry to hear this, and I should take the time that I need and when I return to work we can catch up. I emailed her back this morning and advised that I am not eating or sleeping properly, and I am incredibly stressed. I pointed out that my email in relation to the dressing down that I received in the subsequent meeting was disproportionate to what I was asking for and saying. And that when we do meet, I request a third party be present so that I can feel more comfortable conversing with her.

We'll see how it all pans out. I snoozed on the union, so I'm not a member, so can't get help there. I know that I would have grounds for disability discrimination, but I honestly would do myself more harm than good trying to fight everything. I need to speak to universal credit to ensure that I will not be sanctioned for resigning because I am in the limited capability for work and work related activity group. I also need to contact ACAS next week to discuss my exit and what I need to do and how to handle the situation in relation to leaving.

I've been there for 6 years, so I am sad that I will miss my last wider team Christmas event, as I would like to say goodbye to quite a few of my colleagues.

beanielou

Glad you have contacted GP & good idea to contact ACAS & UC.