The Mental Debt Struggle...

Cherryfudge

P.S. INOD's idea of a moving fund is very sound.

beanielou

Moving will change your life for the better. 

Baileys_Babe

I know moving will be very disruptive in the short term but the rewards will far outweigh this as you will be able to be more self-reliant and less worn out by having to negotiate the stairs or needing to stay at home because you can't deal with all those stairs today. 

Aimingforthegoodlife

Sounds like a good time to start the moving process, imagine how you could spend that energy that is used getting up and down to that flat! With chronic pain, anywhere you can cut back on the strain means you can hopefully gain some pleasure somewhere else! Love the sunday pamper sessions, they sound amazing! Any chance of starting something like that once a month or so? Dedicated to looking after you? 

Makingabobor2

Another vote for forget debt OPs & save for moving

Keedie

Sorry for the late acknowledgement everyone, and thank you for all of your input and opinions. That's why I really love love love this forum. I've definitely found my people. Work has been incredibly challenging and draining, and when I've been to the office I am officially brain dead for 24 hours. And I've not even packed as yet. So I'm slowly coming back online mentally... I think 😂. 

That's great advice @in_need_of_direction about the moving fund. It is definitely needed. As it's not just packaging and removals, it's painting and flooring as well. I think I'd need to save for packers as well, because I will be so depleted trying to pack. My family will help me too, but it might be good to have a service that organises things for you and unpacks. At least I think they unpack or put items in the relevant room. I'll figure it out. It'll be a long time before I am able to move though, as there is a chronic shortage of social housing, so I definitely need to get saving just in case I'm pleasantly surprised.

I'm a bit nervous about not making debt overpayments as I've been so conditioned to just keep focussing on the debts. But it makes sense to have the savings. I was going to set money aside for the move so that whenever it happens, I'm ready. But, concentrating on the one thing does make sense. I'd rather take longer with the debt, and be as prepared to move as I can, than sink so much into my debts, only to not have enough money and need to increase the debt. My £600 bonus from Help to Save will come in February 2025 when the first two years are done. So that can be a good boost to the moving fund. I won't have an overpayments strategy, but I'll be able to make ad hoc payments now and then once I've got a baseline amount for the moving fund. I've no real clue about these things, but I think I'm going to have a bit of fun designing a spreadsheet to total up and track everything.

Making the long overdue decision to move has been rather freeing. Being in excruciating pain from carrying a semi filled rucksack upstairs and having to put myself on bed rest for two days was a wake up call. I'm so used to calling my son to come downstairs and bring up the shopping or anything else with a little bit of weight. It's been an adjustment to buy less things at a time as I don't have that luxury of relying on him and I don't know when I will for the foreseeable future.

I've been trapped living in my flat whilst disabled for 10 years, as I became ill in July 2014. Initially I stayed because my son was only 7 and couldn't handle any disruption. Then I continued to shoulder on, as he didn't want to move and became anxious about the idea. I was also anxious about the disruption and possibly losing my doctor if I had to move to another part of the borough. Then as I became more ill, my flat became more cluttered as I could do less and less and so the thought of moving was so overwhelming that it became debilitating. And I got so used to having all my workarounds that I was able to stay inside for days on end and only leave when I had something specific happening. But this year, between doing the school run for my nephew whilst my sister was recovering from surgery, the physical strain of returning to the office after being off for about a year and now my son's operation has pushed me out of my comfort zone. I've been forced to do the stairs more than I can practically manage and it's been eye wateringly painful and slow at times. And then those horrible moths and my leaking toilet has just put me off living here. So cutting back on the strain of life is definitely the focus @Aimingforthegoodlife. I think I would find it emotionally easier to push through if day to day, life isn't such a hardship from the moment I open my eyes.

Thanks for the Google image search suggestion @Cherryfudge, turns out the mammoth thing is a turnip moth that feeds off root vegetables, that like to hang about May/June and August/September. Where they go in July I can't fathom 🤷🏾‍♀️. 

Cherryfudge

Keedie said:

Thanks for the Google image search suggestion @Cherryfudge, turns out the mammoth thing is a turnip moth that feeds off root vegetables, that like to hang about May/June and August/September. Where they go in July I can't fathom 🤷🏾‍♀️. 

 
I think having the move to work towards will be a good thing. Hopefully you will have time to declutter if needed so there won't be too much to move, but whenever it comes about, it will be worth the effort.

KajiKita

I’m starting to think you’ve missed your vocation Keedie - with all these random insects turning up (turnip moth ….? What the what … I’ve never even heard of that!) I’m starting to think that you are the lady Doolittle of the insect world …. 🤔😉😊

I’m glad that moving is ‘feeling’ like the right decision for you. It will help carry you through the myriad of decisions and doings that will come to make it happen. Sending gentle woo woo that it happens in March next year so you have your Help to Save boost and spring will be just beginning 😊😉

KK

Keedie

I’m hoping to move within the next 2 years. As I know these things take a lot of time. But I’m going to declutter and save as if it’s happening within 6 months. That way I’m hopefully ready with less stuff to move and I’ve mentally got my head around it all. When I’m back from Marrakech, I’ll need to work out how much I’ll likely need to save. Some of my furniture won’t survive the move, as they’re either too old or mismatched, or they’re too big. 

I need to talk to my housing officer as I don’t know if I’ll lose my secure tenancy by being moved. As I know newer tenancies are short term or have fewer rights. I’m not 100% sure, but I’ll definitely have to talk to them. 

And I dunno why I’m attracting insects and birds and all sorts @KajiKita. It’s really odd. I’d never hurt of a turnip moth either. And I have no root vegetables in my flat. So I dunno what they’re planning to eat. Everytime something flies in my room and I manage to get it out, I have to shut the windows quickly, because they all do a little circle and then fly right back in. Nearly every time! And when I get them out, they just hover outside the window looking at me. It happens with butterflies, moths and ladybirds don’t seem to wanna leave either. At one point this black fly that crawls like an ant but isn’t a flying ant (no clue what it is), but anyways, that keeps hanging around on my bookshelf. I’d scoop it up and put it outside, and it immediately flies back in. I didn’t realise my book collection was that riveting 🤔🤣. 

I’m not an insect fan, and demon Indian meal moths aside, I still prefer them to those annoying pigeons. Then a few months ago that pigeon was fighting its way into my bedroom for no reason whatsoever. Last year a pigeon got in and left way too much sh*t everywhere.   At the beginning of August this year, I came downstairs to my car and some animal had taken the biggest poo on top of my panoramic sunroof! It was disgusting and I had to get it off and then drove straight to the car wash. So I don’t think doesn’t seems to be good Dr Doolittle energy 🥴 🤔.

peb

Hi.  Another one pleased that you are at least looking to move, hopefully your HO will give you a realistic time frame.   You'll maintain your tenancy, this will help you if you then decide to buy once you are relocated to a suitable property.


Really hoping that there's something suitable out there.