The Mental Debt Struggle...

Sun_Addict

I’m sorry to read things have been tough lately. Great idea to move to somewhere more accessible for you though, hopefully it won’t take too long. Good news about the hairdresser who knows how you like your hair. Good hairdressers who understand your hair needs are worth their weight in gold. Your son sounds like a lovely caring young man and that’s down to you. 

Cherryfudge

I think you need to very surreptitious and subtle about preparing to move, in case the insects cotton on and try to follow. Unless it's a plot from them to take over your current home when you move. They are obviously keen.

Two years sounds like enough time to prepare but hopefully not too long - though it would be great if the right thing comes up earlier. Aiming to be ready in six months will help you focus of course. I used to rely on frequent moves to keep on top of clutter but we've been here 30 years now so it would take much longer to do any sort of planned packing and decluttering.

Sarahwithlove

Really hoping something comes up sooner than 2 years for you. But it's a good opportunity to declutter and really think about what you want to take with you. You never know you may find some bits to sell. 

Keedie

Sorry for the silence, we had our long weekend family holiday to Marrakech. It was quite an intense trip as it was 4 days so crammed a lot into a short space of time. I got a nice handmade leather little bag in the markets, that will last me years, and it was £23 and the dude dyed it black for me. My son was trying to help me negotiate a price bless him. I was happy to pay more as I liked the bag, but I think the guy felt sorry for me, as I had a spasm in my hand when I was trying to take out my purse, so he told me to keep the extra as gin money 🤣. I don't even really drink alcohol, so I thought that was funny. He might have assumed I had a drink problem and was having withdrawal symptoms in hindsight 😬. Oh dear... 🫣😂.

But the kids loved the aqua park which was right next to our hotel room, and my son defied the doctors orders and went on some of the rides that allowed you to sit in them figure 8 inflatables. I wasn't very impressed when I caught him limping out of the pool minus his brace. I knew he needed to remove the brace to go in the water and the physio was happy for that, but said no water slides. Teenagers don't listen 🙄. Luckily he was okay, but I was so angry with him. As far as he's concerned, the brace would have been off last week, but his review was the same day we flew, so he had to keep it on another week. That is true, but I was still worried. He seems to have developed a limp even without the brace, and the brace has given him some pressure sores, so he's happy to be done with it as of Friday. He can then be given more exercises to help him improve his range of movement. I'm hoping the limp isn't permanent and is more to do with a mental block on how he should walk, as opposed to his new walk. As he now walks faster than I do 7 weeks post surgery. I asked him why he walks with his right leg out to the side even without the brace, and he said the brace is in the way, so he's just learned to walk like that. So fingers crossed it's definitely a mental block and not his new normal.

I'm going to be doing a lot of decluttering in the coming weeks, as my flat is definitely overrun with nonsense papers that need shredding and clothes that don't fit. The added bonus will be more space in the living room and less laundry to keep on top of. And yes, hopefully there are items worth selling. It can all go in the moving fund. 

I've still not worked out my exact debt as yet. I'm waiting to see what is happening with my son's dyscalculia assessment and to see how much the bookkeeping course that I want to do, will end up costing me. Then I can work out exactly what the debt total is. But I have paid off my Argos Card, so that was £200 squared away. The Barclaycard balance is £10,200, but I'm waiting as I said to see what is needed for my son's assessment and to pay for the course, which I will then reimburse to the credit card by paying it as a standing order. I've got £2,000 set aside to pay back to the credit card that is sitting in a high interest account. So by the end of October, I'll know how much can go to the credit card and what is needed for assessment and course.

I've reduced my Barclaycard fixed payment from £250 a month to £150 a month. Probably sounds counter intuitive considering the balance has increased. But I changed the monthly amount to give me more flexibility in setting money aside for sinking funds, and a realistic budget that I can stick to, and hopefully come under budget at times and for some categories. It's still a work in progress, but I think I have a better balance now. And any income over and above my budget will go into a savings pot and will complete my emergency fund. Then once that is sorted, any surplus income will go towards the house move, sinking funds and debt overpayments once it reaches a certain amount (still being determined). But I will post my new budget in a day or so, once I do a test run on my spreadsheet to be sure that I've done it correctly.

FacelessNumber

Don't worry about the limping, we learn the strongest movement patterns when we're in pain, so they can take a little while to unlearn but he will do once he gets some movement and strength back. He's young, he'll be running around in no time once he's had some physio!

badmemory

I know this is completely different but I needed a hip replacement & on the run up to that I started to walk differently to avoid pain.  By a few months after I was walking normally.  Actually better than I had before because they slightly increased the length of the leg.  I didn't even realise until one day when firstly I realised I was standing on both feet with my weight equally spread & then it dawned on me the difference/improvement in my normal walk.  The thing is though that if my body can relearn this in what must have been less than 4 months I am pretty sure a teenager can manage it without even thinking about it like me in something under 3 months.

Keedie

Thanks @FacelessNumber and @badmemory, your comments are very reassuring. He went to college today and refused to wear the brace due to the sores it creates and assured me he would use the crutches, but he left it behind! He seemed to be very happy with no brace and removed it earlier than medically advised, but he said that it was causing more problems. He's slow on his feet, but hopefully he'll correct his walk in time once he's used to not wearing a brace or using crutches. He has physio tomorrow anyways, so she can check him out, and he meets with the orthopaedic team on Monday.

I've got my second hydrotherapy session today, and I'm really hoping it helps as I'm in so much pain today. But at least my hairdressers appointment is nearly here. I can't wait until Saturday morning and I've set the money aside for it. Yay!

beanielou

Soon to be happy new hair. 🤩

dawnybabes

I dislocated my knee (also hypermobile 🤣) when I was 18 due to all sorts of complications I ended up in a full length leg plaster for 6 months.  Once it was off I still swung my leg out to the side to walk, the hospital physio got it sorted for me with lots of exercises.  

The dyscalculia assessment - have you checked his new college ? Ours assess people in house if needed. 

Cherryfudge

Marrakech sounds the perfect place to be while England is experiencing torrents of rain! I can well imagine you were furious with your son for going on the slide, though at least it was at this end of the treatment not earlier.

I hope the hydrotherapy is helpful.