The Mental Debt Struggle...

badmemory

I hope you completed that survey.I felt like saying unbelievable but unfortunately it is all too believable.

LittleMissDetermined

badmemory said:

I hope you completed that survey.

You beat me to it 😂

Keedie

I have to calm down before I complete any survey! As this whole situation has p**sed me off if I'm being really honest.

But I did respond to that email stating that they should look into the dental practice as they took my money and proceeded to claim for non-payment and that I had not done anything wrong, and had notified them of being ineligible at the time of the appointment, hence I paid.

I actually need to complain to the dental practice, but the energy to do so will only come when I'm not fired up. Just like I had to wait before I wrote back to work when I got that letter which wasn't accurate at all. I'll get there, when the cartoon steam is no longer coming out of my ears 😂.

Cherryfudge

That is, I think, the best possible answer to the email about being fined.

I know how you mean about needing to wait till you've calmed down, though I think you're entirely justified. I'm also someone who has to wait to get over the initial surge of anger/upset to reply. I have no idea if I can write a good response when I'm fired up, but probably not - and it only makes me feel worse. Give it time for the emotion to settle, and you will do an awesome job, because that's something you are very good at.

Keedie

I've learned the hard way to think before I speak or put things in writing. I can look back and see the things that I have done and said when I'm all fired up and it never really ends well or paints me in the best light and my thoughts get jumbled or unprofessional. So having some distance really helps, especially before putting things in writing.

I'm glad that I took my time to get on top of my thoughts and stuff before I had emailed work with all my feedback regarding the context  and clarifications for the stuff that was said in that letter regarding the sickness absence review that we had at the end of November 2023. They've come back and amended the bits that were blatantly untrue to what I said, and used my email as an addendum to the original letter. Although I work in HR and so it's actually really only my colleagues that can see my HR file, I still feel much better that the truth and how I feel about everything that has happened, is accurately recorded on my file. In the grand scheme of things it doesn't really change much. But it makes me feel better that I've stood my ground and that there has been changes as a result of that.

I've got my meeting with Occupational Health next week Wednesday and I'll take your advice on board @Cherryfudge as this is the best time to get everything in place. I've asked for a workstation assessment as well, as the chairs in the office are exceptionally painful to sit on, and so I need a proper chair. But the appointment that I have been given is a Microsoft Teams meeting, so I need to call OH in the morning, as I'm not sure how a workstation is meant to work online? Unless they're going to deal with it in two stages and do the return to work assessment next week and the workstation assessment another time? 🤷🏾‍♀️

I've got a handle on my budget now, and in about 2-3 months, things should settle down and I should be in a position to start making debt overpayments. I counted out all my change and I had £11.63 to put into my spare change coin challenges. I've been playing around with Canva, and resizing my savings challenges so that I can get my cash stuffing binders in order for when I actually have money to restart my sinking funds and debt repayments.

I'm going to have to be more disciplined with my spending, especially food and eating out. Tracking everything this month has been an eye opener to say the least 😬.

Cherryfudge

Tracking everything is a great foundation. It tells you how you cope with the realities of your life, what you lean on or use frequently or don't really need... I am often surprised how much I spend on food, because I think I eat fairly frugally. The spreadsheet says otherwise!

Don't do away with your takeaway budget unless you have to, it seems to be something that helps when life gets going. If you're in a position to put pizzas or something in the freezer as an alternative on tough days, that might help, but sometimes you just need the easiest route to getting fed.

And you should be very proud of yourself for standing your ground, you're an inspiration.

Keedie

Tracking expenses really does make all the difference. It's not even been a month, but it's made me realise where I've been going wrong. Budgeting is necessary, but it's really only part of the fundamentals of money management. Having a plan is great, but if you're not able to stick to it fully and you're not sure why, because you haven't been tracking everything, then it doesn't really work. 

Tracking for the last 4 weeks have made me realise that I need to increase my food budget, but not have a separate take away budget, as I don't know any limits to spending on eating out. So I need to have a unified budget for food, plan my meals and shop accordingly and still use that money to afford take aways if I can't be bothered to cook. As my family likes to celebrate birthdays with a family meal, I need to budget for that. It's not every month, but I figured that if I budget for it monthly and use it as a sinking fund to build up, then the money is there for when it is needed. The next family meal out will be Mother's Day in March and my sister and mum's birthdays in April. 

Thank you for your kind words regarding work @Cherryfudge, that really means a lot to me. I don't feel inspiring, but I do hate injustice and exploitation, so I'm very vocal about those things, but a pushover for a lot of other things 😂.

Cherryfudge

Hopefully you will have paved the way for a better future for others at your workplace, @Keedie.

Going out for meals can be a big expense and a social obligation, and that takes away from the fun for anyone who finds either thing hard. It sounds as though a couple of your siblings might be in that boat. Have you thought about celebrating say, Mother's Day, with a meal at someone's house where you all contribute? Of course that might be limited by the space at the house, but in the summer that could be a picnic out of doors. Just a thought, for some people it's the treat of not having to cook that makes the difference.

Cherryfudge

Keedie said:

Tracking expenses really does make all the difference. It's not even been a month, but it's made me realise where I've been going wrong. Budgeting is necessary, but it's really only part of the fundamentals of money management. Having a plan is great, but if you're not able to stick to it fully and you're not sure why, because you haven't been tracking everything, then it doesn't really work. 

P.S. I think tracking things is key, according to Martin. Once you know where the money is needed, you're more able to be realistic and set an achievable budget. That's tricky for me who likes to have a set of rules that stay the same, and of course people often have to vary their savings pots because something comes up, or they've got their calculations wrong.

Makingabobor2

I quite agree about tracking spending. I used to have a budget, but not actually keep note of what I spent & where. now I have all my spends noted in my budget book and its interesting to see just where it all goes.  I used to buy a bar of chocolate every time I went in a supermarket. You think...."oh, its only £1" or whatever, but those little £s all add up to a large amount over the month. 
We haven't been out for a meal since pre covid, neither of us really fancy it any more, but when I look at the cost of meals now, I just think I'd rather spend that amount and cook.....or at least just throw a pizza in the oven...lol.